Speechless in Minneapolis

Already there's dread in 2008

2008-01-03T08:50:00.001-06:00

i wish i could be more optimistic. i'm already dreading certain components of 2008. ugh! and yet the beat goes on and all a girl can do is try.

it's tough being a minnesotans this time of year. sub-par sporting teams, cold weather, it sucks the hope out of a person. then there is all the nonsense of "new resolutions" and "breaking habits". sure some people stick to it. some people get excited for new years, new things and maybe it's because they feel they have new hope.

writer's block, brings out the worst in me. ho-hum, back to the grindstone of 2008.

It's Cold and Lonely as the only "Marketeer"

2007-12-07T09:15:00.000-06:00

I work in marketing. I am the marketing department. A department of one. And on most days I enjoy all aspects of the gig. I am a born multi-tasker and thrive on being able to turn my brain on a dime. From creative big ideas to the hard work it takes to implement them. I HEART being able to do both. Because I knew early on that a routine job where I did the same thing everyday, well, while stability is nice, that kind of routine would kill my spirit.

But I gotta admit it's kinda lonely being the only marketing person in the organization. Because with marketing everyone thinks they know how to do it. They think it's a simple as taste and if something "looks good." Silly bastards.

I'm just wishing I more folks who had big picture AND the ability to make it happen. Unfortunately those at the top get caught up in the details of things. Friggin' frusterating.

I realize I am getting lame and venting. But sometimes one juts need to get it out in order to get through the day.

TGI FRIGGIN FRIDAY.

Is that cold November Rain or cold November Trade?

2007-11-30T08:27:00.000-06:00

I admit the Santana Sweepstakes has me a bit curious. Isn't it the joy/anguish of every sports fan to play the role of GM and what would I do scenarios? It's part of the Madden game syndrome and the Internet that makes us everyday fans toil with the idea of being GM. And it's usually those of us who played sports, enjoyed the competition but realized at an early age that we were never going to make "A Field of Dreams" so we school ourselves on thinking we are smart business people and hence we gab endlessly about managerial decisions, GM trades or lack thereof, and the business components to sports. As much as we like to think they are games we love -- it truth American Sports are businesses with a bottom lines, stakeholders and profits to make.

So with the best pitcher in baseball what do the Twins do? It's much more fun to speculate than to actually have to live with it. So good luck boys.

An overdue catch up (with myself)

2007-11-26T13:49:00.001-06:00

I've carried a journal around with my since I was a kid. I loved to write. Even if it didn't make any sense, have a plot or was grammatically inaccurate. I liked it. Always have, always will. For me, writing is a time to tap into my imagination or to articulate through pen the everyday occurrences that mean something for a moment and then disappear. I am that person who has journals full of "quotes to note" as I call them. I also have 100s of pages worth of story telling in bits -- meaning -- it's harder to remember what I was actually writing about. But eventually I get the gist. Trust me, when I die it will be a lot of paper to be recycled and if anyone is remotely interested, it will be sort of like a game or a treasure hunt to make sense of my rambles. Like now? I'm a rambler. If I could only grasp onto my thoughts long enough to make an tangible sense of them ....but it's a struggle I've had since childhood.

Actually it just feels nice to time and pretend like I am working on the 2008 planning and budget like I should be. But that's not doing "it" for me. I think the generation I am apart of, we need to tap into our creativity outlets -- whatever those are. Whether it's a nap, a blog, a walk, we will and cannot function as the workers who simply produce. It -- and by it I mean work -- has to be bigger than simply a paycheck. It has to mean something.

How you know your iPod loves you

2007-11-13T09:31:00.000-06:00

have you ever noticed the love an iPod will give you? sure, they can be frustrating at times. when they freeze or suck up battery like a motha. but i tell you if you take the time to notice, your iPod loves you. call me crazy. but at least here the theory.

it happens when you hit "shuffle songs" and usually more times than not, it's like your iPod knows the mood you are in. and so the selection of back-to-back random songs seems like a great, random playlist.

i know there are other factors. the sentiments that come with certain songs. what they remind you of, snapshots of your life or the meaning the song has to you. but i know this isn't a scientific experiment and it's not something that can be quantified and sold to the masses, but i really your iPod can be in tune with you.

and i wasn't even trying to be end on a pun.

Favre's a Baby

2007-11-11T13:52:00.000-06:00

Favre just got a baby tap to his head. But because he is Brett Favre, the game is in GBay and every announcer seems to have a man-crush on him it was a call against the Vikes.

Whatever.

I'm not a homer Viking fan. If the T-wolves weren't so damn pathetic the Vikes would be in last place for my local loving. I know this town is a football town first, particularly a Viking town, but let's keep it real, MinnE is a bunch of fairweather-bandwagon fans. And there are a minority of us that are diehards.

Which is why I thank Mankato for this weekend. Just what the Lucia boys needed this weekend. And 9 goals scored this weekend. Hopefully that continues on.

The shutout continues at Lambeau, good Lord. Pathetic. Nice kick ass offense, Coach. Could are defense be on the field any longer this game?

Back to puck. Gophers finally get a sweep, instead of being swept. Next up Anchorage at Alaska. Hopefully they can get on a roll, like last season. Though I doubt the role will be as nice, but Minnesota is always better than the mid-pack of WCHA so here's hoping.

The Wild tonight after a week off. AWOL Walz. Do I return the other half's #37 jersey?

The baby wolves still 0-4. But so are the Heat, Wizards and another team, all of which had loftier expectations than the baby wolves. Plus it's NBA, who cares all that much?

Tubby's team off to a win. Togetherness and defense, I like it. As much as I love hockey and hockey venues in this state, the Barn is the best place to be when it's rocking. I'll stand by that. I love the X and I really love Mariucci, but something about the raised floor and the barn shape.

#89 Ferguson makes the longest play of the day at 35 yards ...

The really highlight of the weekend. Watching My So-Called Life on DVD set. Here's the Wild winning, (Burnsie staying out of the box.)

Purple Jesus is down! Purple Jesus is down!
God damn Pack.

Those Darn Work Personality Tests

2007-11-09T13:27:00.000-06:00

I'll admit I am an extrovert. Big, giant, E for this working Mpls woman. And while it's very all fine and good these workplace test that want to put you into categories in boxes, my dolphin is outraged and it's in full effect. Watch out world, particularly South where I am writing this afternoon.

Have you taken the "what time of animal are you in the workplace test?" Well if not, here's your chance. Oddly enough I am either a Dolphin or a Horse. And I feel like both at this very moment. a Horphin, perhaps?

I'm just rambling for the sake of rambling and because I am annoyed. Wishing there was more of an interesting twist on that statement, but it's November pre-Thanksgiving, where it gets cold and work piles up and we are often left in Minnesota thinking, why do you we like it here? But than T-Day happens and we become Thankful for all our Minnesota goodness, stoicism, sarcasm and passive aggressive tendencies. There's a reason why we humbly think we are better than the other 50 states. It's or MinnE spirit.

Queen of Slack

2007-11-06T09:22:00.000-06:00

This could be a bit of a rant. But WTH? I feel like the queen of slack lately, who is co-habitating, (not a word I realize, but you get the drift) in a den of slack. And it's not because I am slacking at work. In fact it's the opposite, I feel like I am slacking in the other aspects of my life, particularly this site, as well as the other enjoyable writing projects I have.

Balance. It's always been my issue - the work life/personal life balance. Because, as confident as the sounds, most of the coworkers I've had and currently have, like me. Granted I can be a bit obnoxious, over-the-top and annoying, but I'm usually enjoyed in a group of people because of being able to relate well to others.

And this morning while taking the train to work I was conversing in ASL with man who is deaf. He was telling me about how he was raising money for himself and nine other people so they can go to Little Rock and rebuild a deaf community center. Granted we were conversing in ASL, which I'm still a little rusty at, since I haven't had to use it since college, but that feeling of connecting with someone out of a honest, pure connection to help, I miss that.

Being a PR person and working in marketing, I struggle with the paradox of shaping info for the best possible good. And it's a day-to-day decision and something that can be tiring. But talking with that man today, there weren't any strings attached. He was simply sharing a story, I was listening and trying to help. And that spirit of that conversation, those are the things us individuals have to tap into. It's easy to place a "think globally, live locally" bumpersticker on a car and think you are making a difference.

But it's the little things. Like smiling to a stranger. Listening to someone. I know we have become desensitized to homeless people begging on the street, and murders of kids in North Mpls, but can't we all pick up the slack in our small ways? Instead of simply slacking, placing blame or ignoring situations.

Hold On Today for Hold Steady Tonight

2007-11-01T06:15:00.001-06:00

I scream! Whoever said something along the lines of "making a living is not to be confused with making a life," well that statement has been rininging true a lot lately. Sure work has been 60+ hours the last month or so. And soon it's on the "agenda" for me to lead a meeting about our internal communication process. Quite frankly, I am going to bring in a third-party source to contact this. It's the stategist in me. But even though there has been lots of pressure, stress and unreasonable deadlines. And even though I still have five boxes placed in my living room still waiting to be put away. And today is the beginning of NaNoWriMo, something I've wanted to participate in the last two years but haven't had the time. Today will be a great day.

Today will be great even though I will be missing a Wild game that I could watch from the friendly confines of my own sofa. I will also be missing Grey's Anatomy (which BTW at the cliff hanger of last year, there were three climbers brought in and another who was supposedly "dead". What happened to this story line? It has yet to be discussed. Writers of the show, please explain? And don't give us viewers the excuse of the turmoil following Dr. Burke's exit from the show.) Back to the rant, I'll be missing Grey's, which is ok. Plus mid season three and most of season four as been a let down. All of the crap of compiled daily living adds up to being at tonight's HOLD STEADY show, 10 rows back and being there for FREE!

It's days like the last several weeks that make me appreciate the band, not just Finn, more. Label it what you'd like, but I'm a sucker for Hold Steady. And the fact I get to see them tonight on the wake of six-weeks of intense stress, will be nothing short of FANTASTIC! Even if they don't play certain faves of mine, and even if I get the obnoxious 6'5 bald man in front of me who won't put his arms down the entire show, that will not bother me. It's about the music.

And because I am me, and have a pop culture reference for nearly anything, I will be singing to myself the obnoxious Wilson Philips song "hold on for one more day" as the countdown to Hold Steady takes place.

12 hours and counting .......

Great inventions

2007-10-30T07:36:00.000-06:00

I know I take the world I live in for granted. I think most of us do. I have been involved in making a new Web site for work. I am not a programmer. I am not a designer. I am a marketer and a PR bitch, that is how I self-identify.

But this morning I found myself thinking about inventions that I take for granted everyday. Sure Edison gets credited for the light bulb. And Al Gore thinks he created the Internet, but what are inventions that people can't live without?

I'm a fan of ATM machines and subways or other underground traffic ....

List your in all varieties.

The Agony of Being a Sporting Fan (reality vs. fantasty)

2007-10-22T06:39:00.000-05:00

It's October. Which gets labeled "Roctober" seemingly by everyone in marketing these days, however October is the best month for sports. However I have been finding myself conflicted.

Let's start with baseball. In March 07, I predicted the Indians to be in the World Series. And as they took a 3-1 lead, I didn't want the Indians to win Game 5. Heck I didn't even want them to win Game 6. However as Game 7 I was totally torn. To go with my early prediction pick, or to be a second-tier Red Sox fan. I say second-tier because I always root for MinnE teams FIRST AND FOREMOST then Boston teams. Although with all MinnE players heading to Boston, it's messing with my reasoning. I don't know if I should be mad at Boston or except the fact that they can pay MinnE players big bucks. Sidenote: I'm totally rooting for Jacoby Ellsbury so that the Red Sox choose to not make an offer for Torii. But that's besides the point.

Let's just say Game 7, I found myself swept up in the virtual components of Red Sox nation. Because I believe in momentum and I think Red Sox vs. Rockies will be more entertaining than Indians vs. Rockies.

I digress. And stop the tangent. Here's the point. Between all fantasty sports these days and reality sports, I find my allegiances are a bit confused. Take Game 7 of ALCS. If I threw this bet down in Vegas -- Indians to reach World Series in March -- I sure as heck would be rooting for the Indians to not choke. Money would be invovled. But since it's just bragging rights, and at least I picked a team potentially correctly to get to the World Series, I'm already looking good over most of my male friends. But then, there is the second-tier Boston fan thing that makes me want to root for all thing Boston, when appropriate.

I know this isn't just me. Fantasty football has done that to thousands of folks. And your team can even conflict itself. Say you had Packer D and LT and their previous match up this season, people found themselves rooting for AND against themselves. Packers D should stop everything, except don't strip the ball from LT and let him at least rack up 100 yards.

So in all of this reality sports and fantasty sports, while I argue they make us (the mildly-obsessed fan) engaged more -- they also make us more competative, and occassionally more competative with ourselves or our allegiances.

Growing up, my family thought I was going to try and be a sports writer. Sure enough, I went to journalism school, but the thought of being a sports writer was something I never took seriously. Because it was too much of my passion and I didn't want the "business" aspect of things to ruin my love of sports. And in a little twist of coincidence, I find myself on the marketing/community relations aspect of things working with the business people of the local Twin Cities sports teams to create "partnerships."

And you know what, I wouldn't trade any of it. Because being a sports writer might have been the death of me at 32 from stress and quite frankly I want more out of the life than the next five years. I want a championship to come to MinnE and not be stripped down or a scandal. So I'm wagering the best bet will be .......
The Wild.
(now that is a REALITY not a FANTASTY prediction.)

A Weekend in the Sporting Life

2007-10-21T19:16:00.000-05:00

"I woke up/Got out of bed/Dragged a comb across my head/Found a way ...."

Love that song. Great Beatles song. Prolly in my Top Five. The ALCS is about to start. Damn, I can't stand Buck and McCarver. So freakin' annoying. I can't decide who I would want to kill first --- John Madden or McCaver. Hell, at this point it could be Joe Buck. And to think like 8 years ago I thought Joe Buck had the chance to be a cool announcer like his father.

Wow, was I wrong. Complete and utter douche bag.

And it was a rough sporting weekend if you're a MinnE sports fan. First the Bison game. Although, really is anyone paying attention to Gopher Football? Just like no one is paying attention to Gopher Hoops or T-wolves.

Second, Golden Lads on Ice are SWEPT by CC. Swept. That hurts. Granted, I , a homer for Gopher Hockey, realize it's a rebuilding year, but the Gophs are usually good at coughing up a Friday night game and playing hard and winning on Saturday, avoiding the sweep. Oh well. Luckily it's only October and I still have tons of faith in Lucia, and even though I can't stand the comparison of Gopher Hockey to being the Yankees of College Hockey, I'm sound that Maturi will have to have a DARN good reason to get rid of Lucia. And I don't see Lucia walking away from this dream gig, EVER. Unless his daughter Ally, who someone how got a gig on FSN is involved in a sex scandal or an Anne Hutchinson in the locker room.

The Viking. Well, as long as Chilly is around, I have a hard time getting excited for Vikings games. But they were playing Dallas and it was good to see The Barbarian.

Kevin Millar gets to throw the ceremonial pitch for The Red Sox. He just oopsed Ellsbury. Hey Cowboy Up man, it's JacobY not Jacob. But whatever. Did I miss something, wasn't Millar playing for the Orioles this year? And he just threw out the ceremonial first pitch for Red Sox.....right?

The Wild. Thank God for The Wild. Otherwise it could be a more than depressing year for sports fans in MinnE ......although perspective check at least I'm not an Oakland fan or a Royals fan.........

And I'm leading this week in RandBall. I'm sure I just jinxed myself by typing that, but if the Red Sox could be the curse in 04, then I'll take my chances.

Stress and Venting

2007-10-19T07:45:00.000-05:00

A whole plethora of work because other people's lack of planning is apparently an "emergency."
Maybe writing over the weekend that isn't snatchy. Cheers to go ALCS game Six.
Speechless and Over-Worked in MPLS

Why Baseball is Best for Playoff Following

2007-10-17T08:30:00.001-05:00

*Disclaimer. The article discusses only the top for American sports. As always, Minnesota high school hockey is the best damn tournament, ever.*

Call it what you want. Baseball playoff are, well, spectacular compared to the other playoffs. Don't get me wrong 162 games is a long season. And when you're not in contention it's not a fun October. But there are cities like Kansas City, Tampa Bay that will spend decades of losing season, so not being in the post season for one year isn't so bad.

At the beginning of every major four season friends and I make picks. This has been a tradition for several years. I can proudly say that this year I like most people in the world, did not have the Rockies going to the World Series. But I did have the Indians. Which went against every bone in my being, because after being a MinnE fan I love my Boston sports. It's the Irish in me.

So for the haters here are my football and NHL final picks and who I will pick for NBA.

New England vs. Carolina
San Jose vs. Ottawa
Spurs vs. Boston

Back to baseball. Sure the royally messed it up with the strike. And Bud Selig is a douchebag, but the wildcard and having to have all 25 members on your team step up on different nights if fantastic to watch. I'm a sports lover at heart so as long as the games are interesting I'm sold. But to potentially have Rockies vs. Indians, granted it won't get much hype, but I'm guessing it could be better than any other major four championship.

Growing Pains of Growing Up

2007-10-15T10:02:00.000-05:00

I'm 26. I make no claims that I am an adult. In fact, I sort of detest the fact that technically, under legal status, I am an "adult." I prefer my rip-off line of the CSNY song Southern Cross "looking for that woman-girl." Because somewhere between child and old soul is yours truly.

But here is where growing up takes some growing pains. I'm five years post college. I know who my friends are and who I will maintain to be friends with. Yes, we all had those friends that got engaged their senior year or knocked their girlfriends (usually the highly disliked girls at that) up. Forced into marriage, decided it was a good idea or realized the lack of self-esteem and didn't want to be spinsters or old balls with no action the rest of their lives.

Then there are the singletons. These people flaunt it in the face that they have no one to report to, can sleep with whomever whenever, etc. etc. The singletons fall into two categories. Those who are fronting and desperately want a relationship. And those who don't want to be in a committed anything for awhile, if ever.

I'm not in any of these groups. I'm in the dating someone for a third of my life category. So when the BFF informs me that she is engaged over email, it seems a bit odd. It's better to know than to not know, but an email announcement over a major life event ....? Chalk it up to growing pains of growing up I guess.

The Work Hangover

2007-10-13T07:18:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday morning and I've been up since my usual pre-6:00 a.m. And before I jump in the shower and go to work for a few meer hours, I want to discuss the work hangover.

I'm allowing myself to get too consumed with work. Freakin' consumption issues. But here's the thing. This new job that I've had since August, I am slowly realizing that I came at the busiest marketing time. So on the plus side, next year I'll be able to plan things out, but as for now .....the work hangover.

When it comes to drinking, I've never been one to have a hangover. At least not frequently. Instead I was the girl who could pace herself properly, except on the few occassions in which I would make myself throw up during the evening in order to not have a hangover. Classy and sexy, I know.

So here is how the work hangover is worse than that. I know my own work ethic and shit just has to get done. Fine. I get in early and try to make the most of the 7 - 6pm today, knowing full well that I have an amazing life outside of work. Obviously I'm not doing the best with time management because two weeks after the move, all of my plastic containers and tupperware are still in boxes stacked in a pile in my living room. But damn work hangover, when I'm home I'm too damn tired to do anything. I can barely keep my eyes open for Wild hockey games. And last night I feel asleep at 8:15. The last time I feel asleep at 8:15 when I wasn't sick -- third grade.

God damn work hangover. So tired when I come home from work and all my joints are achy, I feel like I am living the life of what I will be living 50 years from now. And this work hangover has been acruing for a few weeks. Jesus Christ on a Cross, I'm done with the crazy hours. I just gotta muster up the endurance for one more week.

And save some I.V. fluid bags for the recovery.

These are a few of my fave things this week

2007-10-11T08:25:00.000-05:00

Work has been a bitch. As a PR Bitch, I can usually take it. But since last post until now, it's been utter insanity. But that's no excuse.

Also I've always been a fan of autumn. It is far superior over the other seasons. Activities to do, the smells, the food, the sporting events, the colors, the light, everything is better in autumn, particularly in October. Maybe it's because the World Series used to begin in October, because most leaves throughout MinnE are at their peak, Oktoberfest, whatever the reason October has always been a great month in my world and I'm not even a Libra.

Then this week 10/7 - 10/14, has to be one of the best "activity" weeks in the Twin Cities in a good, long while. First of all it begins with the ending of Design Camp up in Nisswa. The day to hang out on Gull Lake with your own cabin, can't be put into words. Followed by an evening with Pat McGee Band - a great bar band, with a great, loyal following that has remained great even after multiple member changes, etc. Tues and Wed, Malcolm Gladwell in town. He is my "intellect sexy man" and just the fact that he was in town discussing MinnE and our increase for incarceration and other social change stuff, I'll go there, it gives me a tingle. Brent Burns is a scoring machine. Loving it and loving the Wild's dominance over Ed-suck-ton. Tonight Stephen Kellogg and the SK6ers at Varsity. Sunday, the Wild take on the Ducks and I hope Boogey-Man does his thing.

The fact that I am attending most of these and working 65 hours during the same time period, is a test to my insomnia. So after the best week in a great long while, I might have to take a mandatory three-day coma just to catch up on rest. Of course this is contradictory to my "you can sleep when you die" mantra, but let's face it, I'm in mid-20s status and not getting any younger and lack of sleep messes with my immune system and my fabulous wrinkle-free, blemish-free skin.

The Eve of NHL Hockey in MinnE

2007-10-03T09:14:00.000-05:00

Happens tomorrow. I'm torn. Second episode of Grey's Anatomy and the first Wild hockey game of the year. Good God. I'm a girl who loves hockey. There will be flipping between the two, but still .....why make a girl choose between the early of both seasons -- Wild and Grey's?

Although the other half piped up this morning -- did the Wild make the playoffs last year? And he was serious. Stone cold serious. That I had to swallow pride and say, "really? You can't remember watching the stalemate series against the Ducks? And that your younger brother took his then girlfriend to the playoff game and right smack behind them were Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau. Really, you don't remember Wild in the playoffs?"

Seriously it was JV version of what was really going through my mind. Lots of [redacted] nouns and verbs and well it was 7:45 a.m. this morning. Poor lad.

But then I began to become quit a tart and asking him who won the world championships of the four-US-considered-major-sports:

Me: World Series?
Other Half: (94 second delay) St. Louis
Me: Superbowl?
Other Half: (Looking for stuff in fridge, 20 seconds later) Colts
Me: Stanley Cup?
Other Half: (Immediately) Sabres.
Me: WTF? Seriously. They didn't even play for the Cup
Other Half: yea, but they were playing well. Are you sure?
Me: We need to stop co-habitating. Flower chamber closed for a lifetime (Not to be confused with the God awful Firehouse "Finally Found a Love of a Lifetime")
Other half: But the Pistons won the NBA
Me: Now you're just messing with me. Ohmigod, you're not. Take the lunch I packed you and have a good day. (I'm left shaking my head)

But secretly, while I was disappointed in the other half, I'm giving him a mulligan. He is not a morning person. And he didn't have coffee. He usually needs a pot to get started in the world. And it did feel good to have sports supremacy over him. Granted he can kick my butt in thumb wrestling, drinking beer and if I ever did play, he would crush me in fantasy football. But remembering facts, figures and all other useless info, I'm still Master of our Household. And it's good to start a Wednesday being Master and Commander of your own domain.

But that doesn't make easier to decide between Grey's Anatomy tomorrow and Wild vs. Blackhawks?

The Sporting Life in MinnE

2007-10-01T07:59:00.000-05:00

We has sports fans have been spoiled in Minnesota the last five to seven years. Playoff bound, small ball Twins teams, KG, Wild making a trip to the Finals, back-to-back National Gopher Hockey teams, even the upsets against #2 Penn State and Final Four Women's Hoops teams.

And now it's 2007.

No playoff bound Twins. An inept Vikings offense, rebuilding T-wolves, rebuilding Golden Gopher Hockey, but then there is the Wild. And I'm clinging to the notion, that my Mrs. Robinson crush on Burnzie for the last few years was worth the investment. I'm expecting some ROI on this harboring crush ...... Not really, but I have to have some sporting optimist. And I think it could be the year for the Wild. Something has got to make a MinnE loving sports girl cling onto hope. Now I know what it's like to be a Kansas City sports fan or a Raiders fan. Really, Oakland is prolly a better example. The A's are similar to the Twins in size, payroll and how their GM manages, the Golden State Warriors terrible forever, the Raiders underachieving and run by an owner who doesn't know what he's doing anymore and then they have the Sharks.

This all just occurred to me on a Monday morning. My sports loving life is similar to that of an Oakland fan. That's just f*cking depressing.

Tell me again why I don't like Mondays. Thank You Boomtown Rats. And the "it's so bad it's funny" unintentional tactic in this video, is fantastic. (I wonder if 25 years from now, people will say that about my work? oh geez, the legacy factor ....it's not like I'm Sandra Day O'Connor, but there are moments where you question your legacy, particularly with work or your family.)

I digress. And I'm tangled up in my own tangents .........and relishing in "I don't like Monday's 80s bliss."

Why Music Will Always Be Adored

2007-09-26T09:48:00.000-05:00

Music. As most teens you become obsessed with music. What else is there to love, besides sports, movies, underage drinking and music? Exactly.

Then you become college-aged are able to go to nearly every show you want to, become segmented music lovers. You hone your tastes in a certain direction (indies, locals, jam-bands) what have you.

So it is with great delight I bring you the CD memory of today. It never occurred to me that music helps restore your memory. I can hear New Kids on The Block song and instantly I can remember things about 3rd grade that I haven't thought about in 18 years. Or like today, since I've moved, everything is in a box. So in my true WTF fashion, I grab an unmarked, unlabeled CD.

Stereophonics and Minnesota bands. Instantly I think of my former roommate and how obsessed we were with the UK band, because her friends from Wales turned us onto Stereophonics. Followed by Iffy, Faux Jean, 12 Rods, Soul Asylum. It is an overall fantastic CD and I can tell that I made it, gave it to someone, who either didn't take it from me, left it at my house, or I took it back because it was that good of a mixed CD. (I am notorious for doing that, eventually replacing, but yeah, call it an "unfavorable characteristic.") And then because I am a dork, or because I am who I am, I email this friend saying "stereophonics ...do you remember?" of which she will prolly email me back in a few days, because she is uber-busy. But yeah .....

A happy day music day in Speechless land ....

Greetings from my cubicle space

2007-09-25T08:57:00.000-05:00

I'm swamped. And it does feel like I am wearing duct tape on the bottom of my shoes and walking around work, I feel like I am sinking. Of course not in the quicksand way, but in the sense that as soon as I complete one project, I can seventeen more dumped on me. And it should be like this until the end of the year.

Sweet Jesus Christ on the Cross.

But outside of that, all is well in Speechless in Mpls land. I wish I had more to let people know about. But I'm blinded by the light, that shining, glaring, light or blight is work. And while I am happy with my projects and the success of stuff, it has clogged up my ability to notice the finer details that happen in my everyday life. I'm not as "in tune" with the world, which is also why my RBall picks have been mediocre at best the last two weeks. No time. Hardly any time to read Sports Guy. Listen to NPR or The Current. or search the web for other things I enjoy. Seriously, I haven't checked my personal email accounts in a week. And to top it all off, I'm on call for the Red Cross the remainder of the week ........

So enough from my office space. I do in fact have an office, not a cubicle, but I realized this post and given my working condition, I could not muster the strength to reference lines from The Office. Which BTW has anyone else been closed to The War like I have been? Already my fave show of the season. Damn good documentary, and there have only been two episodes.

100 Posts on the Day I'm Moving

2007-09-20T13:55:00.000-05:00

so i am an infrequent writer. and i've decided to keep speechless "directionless". i think i'm succeeding in those two goals.

i am moving. i can't stand it. it has to be one of those things that aren't so bad, but you make them worse because you are a lazy person and you can't stand all the crap that has to go into moving. because if i am going to do something, i usually don't half-ass it. (this blog being the exception.)

during my break and while listening to my new fave song "1234" it occurred to me i should jump online. bill simmons. randball. quick stroll thru city pages and then to here. sad, i haven't even checked my email. but then again, wwwhhaaatever.

100 Posts on the day I'm moving. It sums up my life. Something I enjoy, writing with something I dislike, moving. I suppose if keeps my life balance in check. Have you ever paid attention to the life balance? Call me a kook, fine, but seriously when someone you know dies within a month someone you know will become pregnant, have a baby or consider adopting something. It doens't fail. That whole Lion King Circle of Life thing, it's in effect.

In effect. Makes me think of Wrecks 'N' Effect (sp check that group name,
I'm too tired to Google) ......"all I want to do is a zoom, zoom, zoom and a boom, boom ...just shake your rump."

A many a 6th grade Spring Breaks watching MTV Spring Break while there are in Florida and being too young to get all the "getting laid" references, but thinking I was a girl in a shallow pool just dancing away in the daylight.

Really, not much as changed. Except I've been without cable the last five years or so, and instead I youtube bands and dance around to videos on the internet.

So 100 posts isn't anything to brag about. Anybody can write anything these days. But I did begin Speechless in Minneapolis in May on the recommendation of my former baby boomer coworker, who is a lover of all things BLOG. so here i write in my Minnesota pants (grey with Minnesota and a Gopher on the butt) and my fave "I heart NY it's the Yankees I hate" t-shirt.

Typing only because I am a procrastinator and don't want to move. Even 100 posts or 100 years from now I will still be that procrastinator girl who loves to shoot the shit and wishes that we could wear sleep pants and hoodies to work. Someday. A girl can always dream and hope.

My Crush on Brent Burns

2007-09-18T08:44:00.000-05:00

This will be a very girly-girly entry. You've been warned.

To those few reading, I want to begin with I love hockey. Always have, always will. It is hands down my favorite sport. And I will always argue that a hockey game is the best to go to over the other sports. Not as exciting to watch from the friendly confines of one's couch, but in person along the glass at the rink, there is no better place to be if you are a sports fan. And in order my favorite types of hockey.
3. NHL
2. WCHA
1. Minnesota high school hockey

Now.

I have had a crush on Brent Burns since The Wild drafted the then 18 year-old in 2003. I don't know if it's the long hair or the nonstop permasmile. I just thought he was cute, in the sense of "which actress would you rather have Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?". So I'm not a stalker or a hockey groupie or a crazy fan. I just like to joke around that I am "MrsBurns". So I was giddy on Sunday when I grab the Strib and there is a feature on Burnzie.

Fantastic!

Now I always have been under the impression that the kid enjoys hockey, but is well-versed in other aspects of life. Don't like the goofy grin fool you. The kid is sharp. Maybe I identify with him in some ways, because in professional setting I send to be the one with the quick comments, and I've learned that upper management types with put me in a box with these comments and forgot about the other things I bring to the table. But that is besides the point. I walk a very fine Johnny Cash line between professional me and personal me. Trust me, there ain't too much difference. You get what you see with me and I wouldn't have it any other way, although I would try to cut back on the tangents, like this one that I am currently on.

So I identify with what perception I have of Burnzie and as a female I think he is cute. So to learn all the other personal things about him in the Strib feature, icing on the cake. It's like saying you will know who the SuperBowl winner will be in five years and then being correct. (True story: I predicted the Steelers SuperBowl victory a season before. Crazy, huh? If only I was a gambling kinda girl)

And I like that he has a girlfriend. I'm happily with someone, Burns should be too. And then the huskies. Melt my heart. We had one in college and now she is no longer with us. Still alive, just not with us who helped raise her.

So where does that leave me? Feeling totally satisfied in my crush. If he lives up to the potential, I will feel like Terry Ryan when he is scouting 15 year old Venezuelan kids. Seriously, there could be tingles. But until then, I'll keep my MrsBurns jersey on for Wild games, continue to brag about my crush Mrs. Robinson style and cheer like crazy when he drops the gloves.

Hey it's all part of the package when you grew up on the Iron Range.

Well, Well, Well, You Never Can Tell

2007-09-16T08:32:00.000-05:00

........
what a week with bring?

personally, my life is going great. good job. good relationships. good health. all around good times.

when it comes to my interests of sports, music, books and news cycles, this was quite the week.

so i can't comment on the details. i've been too busy. with my own job, attending AFSCME things, moving, events, volunteering and having somewhat of "personal time" i've been engulfed and have had blinders on my peripheral vision to notice, as i call them, the strange things that happen to me.

stupid CJ taking shots at jason derusha and ben tracy. both people i have worked with professionally. i wonder if we could have a pay-to-stone CJ contest? seriously, she is terrible. only in america could someone be a gossip columnist for a living. whatta swarmy job. but i suppose it's nothing different than church gossip.

which is why i am agnostic.

it was good to go to an AFSCME fundraiser last night. growing up in a union household i had to go, to represent the people who helped and stood in solidarity when my parents were on strike. union-busting is all the rage in corporate america, what is sad is that usually the working people are just trying to stay level to support their families. far too long, america has stood on the backs of the people who make this country what it is. and corporate america will continue to do so as along as people don't think for themselves and don't fight. i am fortunate that i am in a job where i can take care of myself and factors in a cost of living. but too many of are brothers and sisters don't.

the goal is to shrink the gap between rich and poor instead of widing it.

best thing of this morning (outside of the fact i think i could continue to be 11-5 in RBall) is Brent Burns on the front page of Strib. yes i admit i have a crush on Burnszie, however i think he is a goofball, and i like that he has a lot of interest and his passion, and the long hair and permasmile help, but i also respect that he has a girlfriend. so i'm not one of those crasy hockey groupie girls, just a girl who'd want to go on a double date with Burns and his lady.

am i fucked up or progressive or neither? i'm guessing it's the latter.

Remembering and Moving Forward: The American Way

2007-09-10T08:38:00.000-05:00

It's been a weird week in the world of Ms. Minneapolis. Attending a burial at Fort Snelling, giving up foster dog for permanent home, personal things, work, family, ya know the rest of the stuff that everyday Americans face.

Sometimes I think we forget about the beauty of day-to-day living. I know, it's sounds lame, but there is something about Minneapolis spirit and Minnesota pride and something about being an American. Maybe because 97% immigrated to the states. Well I don't know the exact numbers, but I know that Native Americans are not in the majority. Maybe you know your roots and can trace back where you came from, or maybe you don't care. There is a theory that must "supernations" can only exist for 200 years before things start to fall apart. In a turn of coincidence, the US it approximately 231 years old officially. Are we slipping?

That's for you people out there in the world. And maybe I'm for once too much of an optimist, or maybe it's my US pride that I think we will always be a supernation because of the spirit of our citizens, even the illegal ones. Because most of us can trace our roots back to coming here from somewhere --- name the country and the reason -- whether opportunity, religious persecution, adventure, taking chances. We as citizens of this country are from brave people, whatever that nationality. People who took a chance, who decided they wanted a better life for their kids and future grandkids and they worked hard, they suffered and they settled. That is way I am a fan of www.weareellisisland.org

And just thinking about things over the weekend, I know I am not in PBS market research or even on their radar for trying to reach me as a consumer. But I can't wait for Ken Burns' The War to begin on Sunday, September 23rd. Visit http://www.pbs.org/thewar/video_clips.htm
to see for yourself. I'm guessing someone in your family played in a role in World War II, whether he/she actually served or stepped up back home to replace the hundreds of thousands of soldiers who were displaced across the world.

And away from the serious topics, I'm kicking off the NFL season 10 - 4, but three of my combined losses were by 7 points!?!? The agony. But it's just a sport and it's nothing extraordinary -- like the ordinary people who do extraordinary things every day. They are ones we usually don't highlight.

An Overdue Post

2007-09-08T07:52:00.000-05:00

The fact that I haven't made a comment on the world who prolly lead to the question:
are you okay?

But then I realize that only a few (five)people sworn to secracy and potential cut throat tactics implemented by yours truly actually know the person behind the fascade, so it really doesn't matter that I haven't posted this week.

It's just a busy week, even too busy for me, to notice the little things that I usually do in the world. After attending a burial at Fort Snelling on Friday, on a gorgeous day, which made me think the twisted humor that goes on in this world, but then I realized it is the twisted humor I apprecaite. It's like whatever is bigger than us humans, has a way of keeping things in balance. In August I had the fortunate of three great things happening to me and now in September three not so great things.

Keeps me in check and I like that, but it doesn't make it any easier when you come to terms with things you regret (aka the worst day of my life), a burial of a 22-year-old-fallen-soldier and giving up a foster puppy.

So this week, and especially yesterday Ms. Minneapolis was in a state of mourning. And going through the way I grief, we all handle grief in our own ways. The one thing that has been a ray of hope (that could be a bit much and way too cliche, even for me) is RandBall, the starting of NFL and other blogs I read.

So thank you anonymous world, for helping me through the week. It's like the normalcy I was lacking this week. And don't get me started on trying to cross the 10th street bridge .....

Review - The Format

2007-09-03T09:55:00.000-05:00

Station 4. The Format. Losing my virignity to both, because the closest The Format has ever been is Chicago. So I was excited. Even didn't make a trip to the lake over the three day weekend to check out the show. And, well if the name isn't a give away, I don't go to St. Paul for shows. Unless it's something that is a must see. And well for shows, outside of Faux Jean at the Turf Club, usually every show I want to see is happening in MPLS.

So the review. Let it be noted it was an all ages show. And these little 18 year old concert goers have no respect towards the other people in the crowd. Rude, little sh%ts. And they started moshing. At a Format show. WTF? And hello, this isn't 1994 and nobody is wearing flannel, nor is this a Hardcore show.

The later children of the 80s are ruining 80s babies for those of us born in 80-81.

I digress.

The Format, fantastic. Tons of energy. Good song selections. Played all things I wanted to hear, except cover songs. But that's ok. I would travel to see them. Which isn't saying too much, given there are 4 bands I already travel to see. If you must know (DMB, Radiohead, PMB, SK6ERS) so The Format would round out my Top Five.

They are fantastic live. Sam and Nate are the focal point, but everyone else does a nice job of shining in their moments and being good team players.

What slightly bothered me where all the friggin 18-20 year old frat boys pushing and shoving and being stupid. I told two of them off. What else was not cool? Alcohol free room, because of an all age show and hotter than the rainforest. I'm not kidding. It was Brazil degrees at Station 4. So when they return I hope it's 21+ and somewhere like Varsity Theatre or hell even Fine Line. 400 Bar or Cedar Culture Center would be fantastic, but that's too much hoping.

So The Format, get to know their poppy goodness and tell-it-like-it-is lyrics. It's worth it.

Moving, The Format and a Potential Mother-in-Law

2007-09-02T09:13:00.000-05:00

How is your Labor Day weekend going?

The title sums up mine. Something I loathe (moving), something I haven't seen in person and am excited to see (The Format) and family, even if it's not technically mine. Seems like a good Labor Day weekend to me. The only downside is no time at the lake, but considering I spent two solid weeks there this year, I'm ok with that.

Talking with the potential mother-in-law, I'm very aware that I know who I am and am comfortable in my own skin. That's a good thing to have and good to know when you are out shopping and know what you like and what you don't.

But enough of that. Reusse called in best when he wrote in today's STrib that "Brewster should shut up and coach." We friggin lost to Bowling Green. But hey, at least we aren't Michigan dropping a nonconference game at home to App State. Wow. That's all I gotta say. Those three seniors that decided to stay, couldn't be the biggest choke artists since the 86 Red Soxs.

The Twins. A season of frusteration, is wrapping up to an end. It's not fun to be watching a wild card race. I guess we've gotten spoiled by Gardy's Group since he took over. But I'm hoping they are gearing up for 2008, because the White Sox are as well and it looks like the AL Central will beat up on itself. But hey, I'll always root for the Yanks to not be in postseason baseball.

Like one of my fave shirts reads: I heart New York, it's the Yankees I hate

And that doesn't change.

High school football and Big 10 season that is not the Gophs, will be exciting to watch. But football is just a tune up for the greatest game on earth .....nonprofessional hockey. That's right, high school, WCHA, getting tingles just thinking about it.

So as the summer winds down, I've enjoyed the summer of 07. Sure it might not be as catchy as the summer of 69, but I'm gearing up for the state of hockey 2007-2008.

My Letter to the Commander

2007-08-31T08:24:00.000-05:00

Another Minnesota young man died in Iraq this week. I don't know him. I never met him. Until yesterday I didn't know of him. What I do know is this. He was 22. He grew up in Northwest Minnesota. His father passed away when he was a kid. I know people who unofficial became male father like figures in his life. I know he had hopes, had dream and had potential like the thousands of other men and women who serve our country, and the thousands of civilians who live in places the US invades.

And this morning I want to know how we bring our sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, those friends, those parents, those loved ones home.

It's apparent as people of this country we were trusting, misguided and mislead. And now, now I want to know what the plan is and how are we going to execute that plan in a timely fashion? How do we balance peace, and oil, and two vastly different cultures while minimizing the loss of life? This isn't some Skull&Bones game at Yale, Mr. President. You are fucking with our future. Our tax payers, home owners, teachers, mechanics and leaders of tomorrow.

Sitting in Mpls, looking at the skyline I love dearly, I ask you Mr. President Bush, what are you going to do to get our everyday leaders, those moms and dads and sisters and brothers, sons and daughters, what are you going to do to get them out of the hellish Iraq you created?

You've got until January 1, 2009 to redeem yourselves to those you serve and to those families who will never see their loved ones again. Time's ticking. And it's not a terrorist bomb, what you hear ticking is the little conscious you might still cling to since your began your illustrious position of power as one of the worst Presidents of the US. I'm glad we were smart enough to limit our Commander-In-Cheif to two terms. Sometimes the checks and balance system is ahead of its time.

Owen Wilson

2007-08-28T08:50:00.000-05:00

I don't know if the Owen Wilson incident has shaken me up. Or even made me sad. I guess if anything I can relate. It was about two years ago to the date that I started losing it. It's easy to remember because August 26 was Hurricane Katrina (it hit FLA on 25th and was getting read to dump near the Gulf of Mexico), and when you are a person who is depressed but doesn't think you are depressed, your mind becomes your enemy. And it plays tricks on you, like how could I be suffering when I levee broke and millions of people are heading out with only the stuff on their backs?

At 24 I had a break down. I always knew through family genes that I was susceptible to mental health issues. Bi-polar, manic, depression, alcoholism, all part of the Iron Range family tree. But when you are an outgoing person who can role with the punches all of your life, you think "hey, maybe I'm the lucky one. Maybe it missed me, or I won't be affected." Regrettably, those thoughts did creep into my mind. If I made it to adulthood, through all forms of school and everyone else had been diagnosed at an early age, then I must not have it. I can't have it. I've made it this far, there is nothing traumatic in my life to cause depression, I should know the signs, the rest of my family has suffered.

You get the drift.

I won't compare myself to Owen. I don't think we really have anything in common. Never meeting the man, I'm not sure what his issues where that brought him to the hospital. But I can tell you there are prolly similarities that exist between Owen, me and the millions of other people that suffer from a mental illness, whether temporary or life-long. We think we have it together. We have had successes and failures and have coped. And then it's like a switch one morning -- your brain starts questions things -- things you had always taken for granted. And it snowballs and it consumes you, even though you think you are smart enough and are not being consumed.

I was lucky. And so is Owen Wilson. We both have families that intervened. I ended up on the 7th Floor at Southdale, adamant that "I am not a crazy person." And there are two things that make mental health really troublesome.
1. You can't see.
It's not like a broken bone or a bruise. To everyone it is invisible, unless they are smart enough to see some of the signs. But for the most part you can hide it, and you can hide it well and easily.
2. When you are admitted to a "psych floor" because of how mental health is categorized and if you are uninsured they put everyone together. I was/am considered temporarily depressed. My roommate at Southdale was a life-long schitzo who heard voices and would scream and had to have her wrists tied down in the middle of the night.

But because of mental health we were all herded together like the abandoned cattle that aren't good enough to be t-bones, but could make an ok leather belt or baseball glove eventually.

Our healthcare system, because of how it is set up with a profit-first then help people, won't give people with mental illness the attention and help they need, especially if they are uninsured, unless something irrational happens or a person attempts suicide.

Maybe it's because I enjoy Owen Wilson's work or maybe it's because of the timing. Sunday, would have been the beginning of 13 day stretch that I would lose control of myself, my thoughts and would end up on the 7th floor at Southdale, by actions of my own choice and concerns of my family.

People are strange. We become parts of packs and tribes that we want to be part of and ones that we aren't proud of. Owen, I and millions of others are part of a tribe, it just sad that people (those suffering, healthcare system and society) don't take notice until you try to take your life.

American Hardcore

2007-08-27T09:37:00.000-05:00

It has been a movie binger at my house for the last four days. With fostering the dog, roommates gone and rain being on/off what better way to spend your time between Netflix and Twins games. And even the Saturday Twins game got postponed due to rain.

So what did I watch this weekend.
Weeds - Disc One, Season 2 (since I've completed Six Feet Under and Entourage this is my new favorite. It's that good.)

Rudy
Before Sunrise and Before Sunset
Fever Pitch
American Hardcore

And for those of you who aren't in the hardcore punk scene (I'm not) but appreciate local bands like Husker Du and even The Replacements (there's a guest appearance) it's worth to put in your queue.

I like history of music and pop culture. Which is why I am always a sucker for a VHI DOCUMENTARY and don't get me started on Behind the Music which I salivated for every Sunday in college. Yes college, when I had cable TV. So the history of American Hardcore was fascinating to me. I had no idea that DC was so involved. Call me naive, but I thought the scene came out of two places -- underground California (LA and San Fran) and New York. Who knew that Senators kids in DC were all the rage in the scene. I highly recommend it for those into the scene and those like me, who appreciate music and documentaries.

American Hardcore (2006)

Image 6 of 11

Still photographs of "American Hardcore"

American Hardcore (2006)

The remaining 50 things I want to do

2007-08-26T20:47:00.000-05:00

Awhile ago I posted 50 things I wanted to do before I die. Well here's the remainder of the list. No particular order.

100. Make someone's day
99. Go sailing in New England then to B&B's
98. Tape myself doing something of interest to pass on to my future offspring
97. Teach
96. Learn to sing professionally
95. Take up piano lesson again
94. Have a better relationship with my mother
93. Not get hung up on the small things that don't really matter
92. Eat something I killed
91. Try a wild game I wonder never consider
90. Own a lake home up in Northern Minnesota
89. Love my kids unconditionally
88. Have more close knite female friends
87. Get at least two more tattoes -- possibly three -- for a total of five
86. No more piercings, except my nose
85. Pierce my nose with a cute stud
84. Live long enough to see each Major 4 sports team win a world championship
83. Never complain about "that racket I hear"
82. Believe in myself
81. Listen to my gut on a more regular basis
80. Get publicity or a story on Oprah
79. Adopt a kid from a different country or state
78. Learn to play guitar and harmonica
77. Memorize a movie
76. To always get along with my future in-laws ( so far, so good)
75. Have a pet
74. Place an article in PEOPLE magazine
73. Ghost write for ESPN
72. Make a short film
71. Write a screenplay or become a moderatley successful screenwriter
70. Learn to correctly apply make-up
69. Find out what make up colors are best suited for my skin type
68. Be more experimental
67. Let my guard down and trust more openly
66. Become someone I won't make fun in 20 years
65. Cut people more slack
64. Look into a higher power or explore religion aspects of life
63. Attend a black-tie event
62. Be strong enough to give a eulogy
61. Write a children's book or a book for my future children
60. Learn to snorkel
59. Give more white wines a chance
58. Visit Napa Valley or a vineyard in Italy
57. Sponsor a child in Africa
56. Meet The Format
55. Own a place in New York City (loft, perhaps)
54. Learn to try sticky cheeses more often
53. Always be philanthropic or give my time freely
52. Make amends with those who broke my heart
51. Go to Canada!

*The first 50*

1. Find someone to grow old with. (I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me, but as independent as I am, or think I am, I don't want to be alone all my life)

2. Skydive

3. Go to six out of seven continents. (only four more to go)

4. Go camping in the BWCA. I know. You'd think a girl from the Northland would have done something, but no.

5. Get a pilot's license

6. Hang glide.

7. Write a book

8. Get book published. C'mon people they are two separate tasks

9. Visit all of the MLB stadiums. I'm planning my someday honeymoon or some summer around this idea. I think it would be more perfect if I had a winnebago. Just the thought is like bad times on wheels. Two birds with one stone, that's what my book will be titled "The Good, The Bad and The Road to the MLB."

Wow. sometimes I amuse myself too easily.

10. Be a Roadie for a day.

11. Sit in for a song to play drums with any legitimate and relatively famous band

12. Learn another language

13. Avoid class reunions and go somewhere better that weekend

14. New Zealand, New Zealand, New Zealand!

15. White water rafting on Colorado River

16. Visit and kiss someone at Niagra Falls

17. Donate an organ to someone

18. Give enough blood over a lifetime to save a life

19. Adopt kids and maybe squirt out a few of my own

20. Tell my folks I love them on more regular basis

21. Streak when I'm in my 40s

22. Reduction of upper half. Not a lobotomy, but the other other half.

23. Learn to let go

24. Be completely vulnerable to someone

25. Hopefully never get divorced

26. Eat something that I caught myself or shot myself

27. Shoot a rifle

28. Always keep in touch my woman-girl self

29. Experiment with more recreational drugs in Amsterdam

30. Tip a cow. Kidding. Milk a goat

31. Try to climb on a horse again, after getting kicked off 20 years ago.

32. Always stand up for something

33. Always remembering my roots and where I came from, no matter where the wind blows me in this world

34. Remain open-minded to all possibilties

35. Threesome? Kidding, but maybe do something in that area that I wouldn't have considered. No specifics, though.

36. See any concert at Red Rocks

37. Finally see Radiohead in concert. Preferrably in the UK

38. Not have any cavities

39. Remain my firm butt and to not acquire mom butt -- ain't no flat thing, here.

40. Do an improv skit

41. Tap lessons

42. Learn to fox trot or waltz

43. Making a difference in someone's life, somehow for the better

44. Have a reliable job that I enjoy with benefits

45. To not have to touch my 401k until retirement

46. To reconnect with Z, wherever he is

47. To remain patriotic but questioning the government

48. Ski in Switzerland

49. Assist in Red Cross disaster relief efforts

50. Skate on XCEL ice with Brent Burns or other Wild players

*********Update 44 and 49 are off the list *************************************

I'm Starting with the Woman in the Mirror

2007-08-26T08:03:00.001-05:00

Have you ever looked in the mirror to look at your soul? Not that your soul is a tangible thing. I guess I will define the soul I am talking about as the things that make you who you are, your beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, flaws, essence. That soul.

Sadly, some of us claim to not have a soul. I think they are missing out.

I know I am an self-reflective person. Always have been. I was that girl at slumber parties who would go off to a room by myself, sit in the dark, discovering or look to discover who I was/am. Or it could be 12 pre-teen girls all in the same room, got on my nerves, even then. But I like to think it was more the first than the latter, but prolly a combo.

At 26 I know who I am. At 16 I had a pretty strong case. I am the type of girl-woman who is who she is and makes no excuses for it. What you see is what you get. I don't pussy foot around stuff, I don't hold back and if something is on my mind or bothering me I think I tell you "what's up."

And this is an uncharacterstic trait for a Minnesota woman. Maybe it's because I grew up agnostic. Maybe it's because I have a small family. Maybe it's from iron range roots and having alcohlics and mental illness strains in my family. Who's to say? Not all of it is nature, there is nurture invovled, but I have always liked myself and now I really like who I am.

This isn't a self-rightous rant. There are a lot of other cuspX/Y people like myself who have come into their own. It's just sometimes I look in the mirror and I see the superfacial. Round face, eyes, hair, nice smile, small cheekbones, etc. But there is other times and I see these labels that society and ourselved put on each other.

26. Female. Life-long Minnesotan. Traveler. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Sarcastic. PR professional. Marketing Maven. Witty. Closed-off. Funny. Confident. Stubborn. Opinionated. Sports Fan. Music lover. Piano player. Cheese lover. Irish. Agnostic. Independent. Blunt. Easy going. Crass. Compotent. Not artistic. Friend. Foster parent.

So that's what I saw this morning. All of those things that make up who I am and there is a laundry list of others. But those things are my soul. Not the happy, good-natured, honest, bullshit that we think we want in ourselves. Those are other parts, but to me, the experiences are the things I like in other people maybe I bit more than charactersitics. Or maybe I'm just curious how other people would define me? Not because I care of their opinion, never have and never will, but when you self-reflect are you thinking of your "true self" or this other "better self?" And I guess I want to know if the "true self" is one's perception or if it's others?

This is what happens when I'm happy in all aspects of my life, I have to question shit. WTF?

State Fair = Autumn Right Around the Corner!

2007-08-24T18:31:00.000-05:00

Yes the "great Minnesota get together" has started. Whop-A-Dee-Doo and an enthusiastic finger rotation is my response. Don't get me wrong the Fair is great for some. Food on a stick, making fun of people, really making fun of people and taking a nod of self appreciation that you aren't like some of the freaks that come out for the Fair. Seriously between mullet sightings and camel toes you can't go wrong.

But here's why I like the Fair. It means autumn (BEST SEASON EVER) is right around the corner. The light changes, the leaves, the smells, GREAT food (cider, apple crisp, the end of grilling which always tastes really good for some reason).

So without anything occurring in my life, I was already jazzed because with the beginning of Fair is the end of summer and the start of my favorite Minnesota season. And then ....it just got better.
Three of my TOP TEN current bands are coming to Minnesota this fall.

PMB at Fine Line in October, SK6ERS at Varsity and Hold Steady in November. I already got a free ticket to Hold Steady, how sweet is that? And The Format come to town next weekend. Everyone else may be stoked for "the great get together" I'm excited for the bands coming to town. Now if only the Twins could make it as a wildcard........

"Marbury defends Vick, calls dogfighting a sport"

2007-08-23T09:01:00.000-05:00

According to what Marbury hears "dogfighting is a sports. It's just behind closed doors." Are you kidding me, Stephon?

A sport where you kill your dog if it doesn't win, is not a sport. It is cruel and unusual punishment. Even boxing doesn't train you to kill your opponent or be killed. And trying to compare dogfighting to deer hunting -- are these people eating doggie venacin? (sp check). I sure hope not. And I'm not even taking the puppy lover approach to Marbury's comments. I just think he is an idiot, but I guess I thought that a decade ago when he broke my bandwagon NBA heart and decided to play closer to home. Well guess what Stephon, your bags are ready for the Italy basketball, personally and professionally.

Maybe Marbury does have a case for athletes being built up and then being torn down. But the Vicks, yes Vicks, both Michael and Marcus are sadly full of potential that goes to waste because of bad decisions. Look no further than the recent death of Eddie Griffin as an example. So to Marbury's first quote, he's a effing idiot, by maybe, just maybe he deserves some cred for the second argument. While I'm a big sports nut, always have been and always will be, there is something to be said about when athletes make stupid choices that ruin their careers and I'm guessing prolly their passion or biggest love. But then again, what do I know, I'm just a fan.

The Frusterating Twins (and others)

2007-08-22T07:16:00.000-05:00

So reading the morning Strib sports section. Typical beginning to my work day. And there is a quote from byline from Nick Punto: "Punto says it's time to play better." Now I'm not going to kick a man when he is town unless he deserves it, but seriously that is the byline. That's like President Bush saying, "The bridge collapse is a tragedy."

Duh, no sh%t and where to you (Bush and Punto) in their respective cases get off saying such a statement. I'll give Punto a reason he might haved been the only Twins player left after the two crushing back-to-back blows by the Mariners. But the President, I plead the Fifth.

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These shirts are fantastic and I wish I had thought of them. Moving on.
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My grandmother is 75 and grew up on the Iron Range. Yesterday she left me a message, no joke on this that said the following:

"Hi (my full name) this is your grandma. I wanted you to know that a lady in the building died today. So I took her ironing board, because I hear you only have one. Her iron which hasn't been used in six months. Some dish towels, pots and pans, and a real good one for stir fry. There are some other things, but just wanted to let you know."

Yep, that is part of my gene pool. I picture my grandma to be walking around her senior living complex like a vulture, scoping out the next prey, circling in on it and then cleaning house, wiping the deceased person out of essential housing items. Please note that I never wanted to asked for anything. In fact I told her don't buy me anything until I move in October. And to grandma's credit she hasn't bought me anything, she's just waiting for the next death in her building.

Full Geek Glory (RBFFL)

2007-08-21T07:05:00.000-05:00

For the few who actually know my full name, consider yourselves lucky. And continue to keep it on the hush. I don't know why I am so compelled to blog in secrecy. Maybe it's the business I am in. That I am in front of a microphone a majority of the time and I don't want my personal thoughts/experiences to become part of my professional life.

Or I could really dig writing anonymously? Who's to say.

But for those of you who know me, you know I am a sports nut, opinionated and witty. Which is why the chance to be part of the Randball Fantasty Football Leauge was hard to turn down? I thought it would be a great chance to meet these folks who make me LOL on a daily basis, plus the location is the Chatterbox in St. Paul which is one of my fave spots. But alas four things occurred.
1. I have turned down every offer to play in Fantasty Football this year, so why start with a people I don't even know? That would not sit over well with my non-blogging-real-life-friends
2. I like how things are, I don't know if I want a face to these individuals, plus it is prolly a competition of extroverts and who can be the funniest and i'm guessing everyone is somewhat to ultra-competative
3. I would like to be on the sidelines and officially be a person of unbiased opinion. Kinda like a ref, but without the whole mafia thing or point shaving
4. Am I that much of a geek? Not quite. And I'm hanging onto that title for as long as possible. JK. I think RBFFL is fantastic and would be a lot of fun, I just am weighing my professional options and it's prolly not the best idea. Damn myself for being a PR bitch.

Superbad is Supergood

2007-08-20T08:44:00.000-05:00

Get to see Superbad. That's all I'm saying. If you are between the ages of 15 - 40 it should be required. Kinda like a thumb print or your dental records. Get to know McLovin. Seriously.

I could go on and on, but you're smart people out there. Decide for yourself. Otherwise it's just another Manic Monday. (I wish I could have that song by some group "Tell me why, I don't like Mondays/Tell me why ......Cause you can see no reason/Why there are no reasons/To like Mondays.) If anyone can find me that song or name the band, there's a prize...that I'm not yet disclosing.

I'm a Foster Parent (for a week)

2007-08-18T06:11:00.000-05:00

I have the most adorable and smart son. As a mid twenty-twenty-something-young-professional I never at this stage thought I'd be a foster parent. His name is Rhett, he's about 12-13 weeks old and he is absolutely the best thing that will happen to me for the next week or so.

I never thought I'd be able to be a foster parent, even if it's temporary. But turns out, my heart sees the bigger picture and that he will need to be adopted by someone who will love him and provide the best home for his life. I can in the short term, but not for Rhett's lifetime.

BTW I did not pick out his name, but to me he seems more like a Rufus. I dunno, something about him.
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Switching subjects I normally don't read the comments, because I try to be anonymous, mostly because of what I do for a living. So when "someone" leaves a comment that says I suck. I like it, because I think diversity in dialogue is good. But if you can't leave a name and you are just saying something without a reason to get back to you, then what is the point. You are not furthering along any sort of debate. So to you anoymous commenter, I'm sure like everyone else in the world you think you are funny and have good taste. But if you don't have any way to get back to you, grow a pair and then comment.

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What else in Ms. Minneapolis land? The 87 Twins reunion. Yea, they are my favorite team, Twins team. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that reunion. Who knew Gene Larkin was the youngest one on the team? No clue. And that Juan B is a car salesman, doesn't surprise me, but a car salesman in Chanhassen, freakin Chanhassen, now that does.

But it is weird that Kirby didn't make it to see this weekend. Maybe he overshadowed the team. He did own the 91 series, but I do think Gaetti and the two-person pitching tandem of Bert and Frank were the heroes in that series.

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Oddly nothing strange or unusual has happened to me in the last week to spill to the masses. Watch out, that means twice the load for the upcoming week. Take care everyone and enjoy the 87 Twins!!

When you try to be good, but things go awry?

2007-08-15T19:09:00.000-05:00

i'm not even going to try and explaing the title. i justed needed to write it. and maybe again, and again, and again.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

so now that that is out of my system, at least temporarily. in honor of the Twins winning a series and due to my laziness/exhaustion -- the toughest players in baseball, according to ESPN. oh BTW my new fave netflix show is Weeds. i watched the first six episodes in one night. yea, i have no life, i know. but holy sh$t is it funny, and i'm not/nor ever have been a stoner.

No pain, no game for these hard-nosed players

By Jerry Crasnick
ESPN.com
(Archive)

Updated: August 15, 2007

Jason Hirsh didn't mean to make a statement. It just worked out that way.

After taking a J.J. Hardy line drive off the leg last week, Hirsh stayed in the game to pitch five more innings in Colorado's 11-4 victory over Milwaukee. Only later did Hirsh discover he had fractured his right fibula on the play. Baseball players aren't typically regarded as tough in the manner of NFL wide receivers going over the middle or NHL wingers digging into the corner for loose pucks. But the season is so long, so physically and mentally draining, that few regulars report for work each day feeling spry or healthy in the conventional sense. They're all soldiers in a war of attrition. Toughness is in the eye of the beholder. But we're pretty sure it's embodied by Minnesota backup catcher Mike Redmond. During a game in July, Chicago's Jim Thome took a long follow-through and caught Redmond in the head with the barrel of his bat. After several moments on the ground, Redmond staggered to his feet, blood pouring from his head, and apologized to teammate Joe Mauer on his way back to the dugout. It was the second game of a doubleheader, and Redmond felt bad about taxing Mauer's workload. "It wasn't like I was hurt that bad," Redmond told Jim Souhan of the Minneapolis Star Tribune. "Just bleeding a lot." In honor of the Jason Hirshes and Mike Redmonds of the world, we surveyed 30 players, managers, scouts, executives and media members in a quest to find players with high pain thresholds and a low tolerance for days off. These guys are quick to sacrifice their bodies for the team, and no threat to run and hide during a bench-clearing brawl. Remember "The Breakfast Club"? We'll call this week's installment of Starting 9 the Eat-Nails-for-Breakfast Club.

Martin

Russell Martin, Dodgers catcher

As one National League catcher recently observed, "Mike Lieberthal has the best job in baseball." Considering that Lieberthal makes $1.25 million and has started 11 games behind the plate as Martin's backup, it sure seems like a good gig. Martin leads all major league catchers in games played and ranks second to Cleveland's Victor Martinez in plate appearances. He blocks balls, shakes off foul tips, breaks up double plays with abandon and doesn't know the meaning of the words, "I can't go, Skip." We became acquainted with Martin's toughness last September, watching him walk into the Dodgers' clubhouse with a stiffer gait than the Tin Woodsman in the "Wizard of Oz." At this point in the season, Martin needs a daily massage just to climb the dugout stairs and make it onto the field for pregame stretching. "I'm becoming a big fan of Russell Martin," said Arizona's Tony Clark, a 13-year veteran. Honorable mention: Brad Ausmus, Gregg Zaun, Jason Kendall and Michael Barrett were among the other catchers who received mentions, but no one embodies hard-core toughness more than Boston's Jason Varitek. "If I had to pick the guys in the game I respect most, he'd rank in the top three," said Phillies outfielder Aaron Rowand.

Helton

Todd Helton, Rockies first baseman

Helton isn't the same dominant offensive player who received a $141 million contract from Colorado in 2001 and looked like a Hall of Fame lock at age 30. But he never makes excuses, and he leaves nothing in the tank. Helton has endured back pain and calf problems, and missed two weeks last season with acute ileitis, a painful inflammation of the small intestine. Despite losing 10 pounds, Helton came off the disabled list as scheduled and started 64 straight games before Colorado manager Clint Hurdle was able to chain him to the bench. It's the same brand of fortitude Helton displayed as a University of Tennessee quarterback while facing the onslaught of SEC linebackers. If he's ambulatory, he's out there. Honorable mention: Albert Pujols, Kevin Youkilis and Travis Hafner make the grade. Hafner, who stands 6-foot-3 and 240 pounds and loves professional wrestling, is a man you want standing beside you when the beanballs fly.

Biggio

Craig Biggio, Astros second baseman

It's a certainty Biggio will be wearing an Astros cap on his Hall of Fame plaque. The portrayal would be even more genuine if it showed him beneath a gunk-encrusted helmet with sweat and eye black all over his face. Biggio has played 1,961 games at second base, 427 at catcher and almost 400 in the outfield. He's that rare player who knows how it feels to get spiked at the bag, block a slider in the dirt and go shoulder-first into the wall in pursuit of a fly ball. That's a masochist's hat trick. Biggio has also been hit by a pitch 285 times, second-most in history behind Hughie Jennings, and has 414 stolen bases worth of jammed fingers. Considering the abuse he's taken, it's amazing that he's been on the disabled list only once, with torn knee ligaments in 2000. Honorable mention: Lots of people remember Jeff Kent breaking his wrist while popping wheelies on his motorcycle in San Francisco. Giants fans recall when Kent, weak with the flu, took intravenous feedings before playing both ends of a day-night doubleheader against Colorado in 2000. He's one ornery gamer.

Tejada

Miguel Tejada, Orioles shortstop

Tejada isn't such a great investment these days, with his $12 million annual salary, .430 slugging percentage and diminished range in the field. The fewer home runs he hits, the tougher it is for speculation about those vitamin B-12 shots to fade away. But Tejada's stamina is indisputable. He appeared in 1,152 straight games, the fifth-longest streak in history, before breaking his wrist in June. That's an awful lot of punishment with no breathers. "A few years ago, we were playing Baltimore, and Miggy went back on a ball and did something to his ankle," Rowand said. "He went down like somebody shot him, and they had to carry him off the field. He was right back out there playing the next day." Honorable mention: Jimmy Rollins, Omar Vizquel and David Eckstein pass the pound-for-pound toughness test, and Derek Jeter's foray into the stands on a Trot Nixon foul pop in July 2004 remains one of his signature moments. "Derek Jeter diving in the stands headfirst and coming out looking like George Chuvalo is my all-time great effort," said Brewers general manager Doug Melvin. "That was just instinctive toughness."

Wigginton

Ty Wigginton, Astros third baseman

If Eric Byrnes is known as the Crash Test Dummy, then Wigginton should forever be regarded as the Human Four-Car Pileup. "This guy will run into, over or through anybody or anything," said Washington Nationals reliever Ray King. Just ask catcher Koyie Hill, who suffered a broken ankle while being steamrolled by Wigginton, or Yadier Molina, whose cage was similarly rattled. Wigginton isn't the most skilled or graceful athlete. But he's a grunting, snorting, collision-inducing machine. Honorable mention: Boston's Mike Lowell came back from testicular cancer. Joe Crede played through some excruciating back pain in Chicago. David Wright did his own Jeter-like leap into the stands. And while Alex Rodriguez is rarely hailed for his toughness, he comes to play. Since 2001, A-Rod has missed 18 of 1,091 games with Texas and New York.

Rowand

Aaron Rowand, Phillies center fielder

Rowand clinched his spot on this team in 2006 when he caught a Xavier Nady fly ball, smacked into the Citizens Bank Park fence, then left the field with his face in a blood-soaked towel. Rowand later joked that his mother, a nurse, was concerned he might be injured until she realized he had hit the wall with his head. It wasn't the first time Rowand had put his noggin to the test. In five seasons with the White Sox, he crashed into the wall so routinely that owner Jerry Reinsdorf installed $50,000 of extra padding to ensure he wouldn't become the next Pete Reiser. Chicago general manager Kenny Williams, a former major league outfielder, describes Rowand as tough in every conceivable way. "And I don't toss out that compliment lightly," said Williams, who once played on a fractured ankle for two months before the advent of MRIs. Honorable mention: Ryan Freel, Trot Nixon and Gary Sheffield win points for competitiveness and high pain thresholds. Mike Cameron recovered from one of the scariest collisions in memory to keep playing. And Torii Hunter plays with such abandon, he once burned his goatee while sliding on the Metrodome turf after making a diving catch.

Byrnes

Eric Byrnes, Diamondbacks left fielder

"There's a difference between being aggressive and suicidal," Byrnes once said in response to a question about his penchant for running into walls. When he figures it out, maybe he'll let us know. Byrnes has made a cottage industry of his hyperaggressiveness, with frequent TV and radio appearances, to the point that some people wonder whether it's a shtick. "I know he plays with reckless abandon, but he also dives for balls when he shouldn't dive for them," said a scout. "I think it's a little over the top." On the other hand, lots of teammates and opponents swear that Byrnes' intensity is legit. During Byrnes' winter-ball days, fans in the Dominican Republic embraced him and called him "Captain America." His zest for the game transcends national boundaries. Honorable mention: Hideki Matsui played in 1,768 straight games for the Yomiuri Giants and Yankees. After suffering a broken wrist against Boston in May 2006, Matsui expressed remorse for letting down his teammates and issued a statement of apology.

Guerrero

Vladimir Guerrero, Angels right fielder

If Guerrero walks as if he's in constant pain, there's good reason: He was born with his right leg longer than his left. He also played seven seasons on a glorified parking lot in Montreal, until his knees reached the Andre Dawson point of no return. Guerrero's teammates love him because there's not a trace of prima donna in him. When opposing pitchers drill him, he invariably gets up, dusts himself off and jogs down to first base. Then, the next time at bat, he exacts revenge like a man. Case in point: In August 2006, Texas starter Vicente Padilla hit Guerrero in the forearm with a fastball and threw a second pitch near his head. Guerrero responded with a three-run homer to show everybody who was boss and politely declined comment after the game. Honorable mention: Brian Giles routinely plays through injuries and once lobbied his way into the San Diego lineup against Randy Johnson because he didn't want to be accused of ducking the Big Unit.

Glavine

Maddux

Smoltz

Bobby's boys

Our nominee for baseball's toughest pitcher has 843 career victories and seven Cy Young Awards, and looks to be on track for three Hall of Fame induction speeches. The choice came down to Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux and John Smoltz. But after soliciting Atlanta manager Bobby Cox's opinion, we've declared the race a three-way tie. Glavine, a former high school hockey star in Massachusetts, has thrown 4,300 innings without a disabled list appearance. He pitched with a broken rib, a bad ankle and assorted arm issues in Atlanta, and survived an adventurous, tooth-mangling taxi ride in New York. Maddux's meek appearance belies his tenacity. One spring in Atlanta, he took a line drive off the toe in his final spring training start. The doctors stitched up the toe, shot him up with numbing agents, and Maddux never missed a turn. While Smoltz has made eight disabled list visits in his career, he has also pitched through pain that would make lots of grown men cry. Wonder how it feels to throw 90 mph-plus with a torn elbow ligament? Smoltz knows the answer. "You just don't do what these guys have done in the game without being competitive and tough," Cox said. Honorable mention: Randy Johnson, Roger Clemens, Jamie Moyer, Joe Borowski, Mariano Rivera, Curt Schilling and Tim Wakefield received mentions among the older crowd, while Tim Hudson, Roy Oswalt, Roy Halladay and Dontrelle Willis are younger pitchers with big motors and bigger hearts. Pedro Martinez is also widely respected for his fortitude. "I've seen Pedro go out there start after start and still be dealing when I know his arm was barking like a German Shepherd," Kenny Williams said. Although Yankees fans might question Kyle Farnsworth's toughness in close games, he is trained in Tae Kwon Do and put his skills to good use in a memorable confrontation with Paul Wilson. "When you charge the mound on this guy, you better know what you're doing," said Angels outfielder Gary Matthews, Farnsworth's former teammate in Chicago. San Diego reliever Doug Brocail, who came back to pitch in 2006 after two angioplasties in four months, also received several mentions. "Brocail is the guy I'm avoiding if a brawl breaks out, because of his mental stability combined with his toughness," said Padres infielder Geoff Blum. "Oh yeah -- he's had two stents put in his heart." Jerry Crasnick covers baseball for ESPN.com. His book "License To Deal" was published by Rodale. Click here to order a copy. Jerry can be reached via e-mail.

My near laptop death

2007-08-14T07:48:00.001-05:00

so i started new job yesterday. gotta love showing up for the weekly all-staff meeting. that's right weekly. but when there are only 15 of you, weekly isn't so bad. but the electric was out because of the storms over the weekend. no big deal.

i get home around 5:00ish. noticing that it only takes me 8, yes thats right, 8 minutes to get home. fantastic! turn on laptop. walk into kitchen to make dinner. come bakc and laptop screen is black. i think it just went to sleep. turns out, it went into a coma. or a near death experience.
either way, i'm slightly freaked out and little concerned. because when you ride a wave of good things (new job, apt, seeing old friends, etc.) eventually reality catches up with you and you take a turn towards negative town. i'm thinking computer dying was the off-ramp towards other bad things about to occur.

turns out. laptop went ?#@!!$#$? and this morning i plug it in, turn it on, and PRESTO! like nothing even occurred. so did my laptop have amensia, a nightly coma or was it mad because i left it for the day after six months of using it daily? maybe laptop and i will have to figure out a plan. jeez, i wonder what it would do when it found out i was having an affair with my mac laptop? as the Go Go's sing my lips are sealed.

How do I do it, and do it well?

2007-08-13T07:45:00.000-05:00

Wow at first that sounded perverse. Maybe. But what I mean by "it" is this: how do I continue to blog, read and comment on other blogs without appearing to not be getting work done?

For a considerable amount of time I have been working from home. Being your own boss, with no one paying for your wireless while you are working, you are free to roam anywhere you would like. And I'm even going to throw it out there in my defense and for all the others that read/comment/write blogs that you need to look at other people's stuff for creative re-charge of your batteries. Because I am the person who eats at their desk during lunch, 90% of the time, so checking out what other people are commenting on about the world, helps me re-charge. Screw the mandatory 15 minute breaks and 30-60 minute lunches. Let us write and search in freedom.

I haven't even officially started and already I'm griping about something. I suppose that would be in my true spirit. But since for the most part I am going to be self-managed, and as long as I produce results, I don't think I have anything to worry about. Plus I'm completely anonymous, unless those have cracked my code. You know who you are :)

Weekend Update what I've learned

2007-08-12T21:44:00.000-05:00

Jered Weaver looks like that freshman/younger brother/pitcher from Dazed and Confused only with blonde hair instead of brown.

Jered Weaver can not complete eight innings of work.

The Twins are terrible on the road this year. Looks like we are getting closer to being non-contender. But with a dozen or so games left against Detroit and Cleveland, I'm still clinging onto hope.

Grandmas can be mean, especially if they were raised on the iron range. And yes, while it might not be kosher for others, it is acceptable sometimes to tell your own grandma "to F off."

Mother daughter relationships are always interesting, and sometimes feel like their own separate prementral cycle. No joke. The ups and downs, cravings and release, cramps and uncomfortableness. Yep, I'm going to put that phrase in my monthly vocab.

Friends. I'm the ultimate "haven't-talked-to-you-in-years-picked-up-where-we-left-off-friend." It's good to know there are others I can count on.

Tiger Woods is the best golfer ever, and I will never like golf, ever.

Sundays continue to remain the ultimate day of rest, or as I like to call it, don't get out of my pajamas all day and watch sports. Can't wait for football and lounging in my Gopher pants.

That tomorrow is Monday and I'm looking fwd: to a job with an office. Shared office, but I don't have to wear flair/flare (i wish i could wear tnt to work) or be anything but myself.

I feel like I'm missing something. As the best Pixie songs states: "where is my mind?"

This is Surreal and found on People's online edition

2007-08-12T10:05:00.001-05:00

Hockey Stars Krissy Wendell and John Pohl Wed

SATURDAY AUGUST 11, 2007 08:00 PM EDT

By Lorenzo Benet

Wendell and Pohl Photo by: Jim Rogash / WireImage; Brad White / Getty

Swapping her hockey pads and helmet for a wedding gown and veil, Krissy Wendell, star of the U.S. women's Olympic ice hockey team, married NHL player John Pohl Saturday in a West Roseville, Minnesota church before 200 friends and family.

In a traditional ceremony, the couple shared vows at the Rose Hill Alliance Church, the very setting where Wendell's parents were married. The afternoon wedding was presided over by Pastor Tom Johnson. Wendell's sister Kara, served as maid of honor while sister-in-law Julie was matron of honor. Pohl's brother, Mark, assisted as best man

A reception was held at a nearby hotel in Brooklyn Park, Wendell's hometown. As guests dined on chicken, fish and steak, Wendell, 25, resplendent in a white Mori Lee gown with a 4-foot train, and Pohl, 28, sporting a black Ralph Lauren tux with a white vest, shared their first dance as husband and wife to the Clint Black song, "Easy for Me to Say."

The couple got engaged last Christmas Eve in Toronto, where Pohl plays forward for the Maple Leafs of the National Hockey League. As part of his marriage proposal, Pohl made a collage of pictures documenting their seven-year relationship, which began with a July 4, 2000 date of dinner and fireworks. They had been introduced by Wendell's brother, Erik, who was Pohl's roommate at the University of Minnesota.

"We were hanging out as friends but when I had to leave to go to training camp that September, we agreed we were friends with potential. We never really dated anyone else after that," says Wendell.

Wendell went on to start for both the 2002 and 2006 U.S. Women's Olympic Hockey teams. She also won the Patty Kazmaier Memorial award in 2005 for being the best female collegiate hockey player.

Next, the couple will head to a Minnesota resort to play golf and relax for a few days before Pohl, a Rochester, Minn., native, returns to his training regimen. Pohl, a forward, is due in training camp in September for the Leafs.

"We did a pre-honeymoon," explains Wendell. "We went to Maui for 10 days at the end of April and had a great time."

Wendell is taking a year off from competitive hockey but has not ruled out to playing in a third Olympic winter games in 2010 in Vancouver. The couple will settle in Toronto.

In accuracy: Pohl is from Red Wing, Minn not Rochester. The other roommate was Adam Hauser. Reporters these days.

On the Eve of My New Gig

2007-08-12T08:57:00.000-05:00

I was baseball scouting over the weekend. Yep, that's right. A friend works as an admissions counselor/coach for a D III school. So there we were in tandem watching the Minnesota American Legion tournament. After day of scouting, I confess I am a self-proclaimed scouting roadie. Because I think a "roadie" has more perks than being a scouting groupie. And let's face it, I don't just put out for anyone at any time. That would be scandalous. And I don't need a scandal on the eve of my new gig?

What do I need?

A fair question, but it can be taken in all sorts of directions. There are the basics -- friends, family, alcohol, good conversation, shelter, water, food, sports. But after that. I have no idea.

What I do know is I give myself goosebumps sometimes thinking about my life. I like who I am and who I have become. I don't know if other people my age, 26, can say that. I used to joke around that everyone dies at 27 (Hendrix, Morrison, Joplin, Cobain, etc.) and I still believe a part of you does die at 27. Because I am convinced that 27 will be the age when I will first describe myself as a woman-girl, instead of girlish(tomboyish) woman. I don't know what it is at 27? Maybe shit has happened universally to everyone so they have to deal with it by that age. Or maybe it really is the time when you become a grown-up. But I must say -- those you are on the cusp of X/Y like I am, we're not really growing up entirely. We may have spouses, partners or in a relationship. We may have children or dogs or cats or other pets that we adore. But you know what? We are still a bunch of sarcastic, pragmatic, somewhat-optimistic group of folk and damn right we will drive our Jettas, listen to The Current and can't wait for our kiddies to be wearing smart-ass onesies, when we decide to have children. Or adopt them.

I've had the pleasure in the last six months to have left a position and re-connect with people who I met in earlier stages of my life. I've also had friendships end for no apparent reason. And while I like to think I am a introperspective person, who could easily pick up a conversation with someone I haven't talked to in 10 years, I now can verify and validate those assumptions.

I look in the mirror and honestly like everything about me and my life. Even the flaws. I think I prefer the flaws more because they tell stories. Scars, physical or emotional, my iTunes collection, books, magazines, movies, hockey posters, Gopher memorabilia, Twins autographs, journals, expanding waistline, 40 pairs of shoes, broken thoughts and lost ideas, they are all there. Nestled with the hope, big dreams, aspirations, determination that I have for myself and the life I continue to embark on.

I know I am not a nice person, but sometimes after reading the paper, you gotta think life is nice, when you take the time to acknowledge and soak it all up. Now if only the freaking Twins could start winning again. Yep, back to my sporting angst. Oh we suffer in Minnesota.

Not a Writer's Blocks but a Compelling Block? (perhaps.)

2007-08-10T08:34:00.000-05:00

i rant. i enjoy it. i hold nothing back. it's the price i pay for being a multi-thinker, talking in tangents and blazing fast wit.

but i like to think there is a purpose? whether it's to show a point of an argument, share my experiences that prolly happen to others in the world, and share those that i am convinced only happen to me. i like to think i am achieving some sort of an objective. i wouldn't dare call it a "goal" and there is definitely no plan in place, strategies or tactics. but then today i wake up and think .....do i really have nothing to write?

of course, that's silly, i tell myself. but wait. if i break down which team is better 87 twins or 91 twins? that is going to require research for baseball breakdown, clubhouse factor and how i perceived them as a six year old vs. as a ten year old. i can't just rattle that off. that is an assignment, to not be taken lightly.

but now the shuffle iTunes is playing my fave Dylan song "Tangled Up in Blue" so that's gotta count for something. something positive. gosh i'm a freak at times. but a proud freak.

it's more entertaining when you are struggling and hitting potholes (figuratively speaking since literally MPLS is Pothole Ave near the intersection of Big Bumps in the Road everywhere.) to reflect on life. when you are really happy what is there to joke, make fun of or complain about? don't get me wrong i'd prefer to be happy and have stable income and all that comes with that, but the stories are more entertaining when you are struggling but keeping afloat. because you'd consider things you might not consider when you know you will for sure make rent next month without worries. plus when you are "opinionated, young and hunger" you might others like you. kinda make you feel like you are in a secret club that used to exist in america circa late 60s. i'd prolly cross my group of OYH (opinionated, young and hungry) as a Warhol group, with a mellow Mamas and Papas vibe, but with an English attitude/snobbery ... because we like to think we are better than those we make fun of. or you could call us the group who work at Rob's story in High Fidelity.

so what's on the horizon? i've declined to play in several fantasty football leagues. since two years ago i called the steelers winning the superbowl in preseason, i figure my luck is running out, so why spend the $$ for my own team when i can help others? exactly. it's in my philanthropic soul to help others.
:)

hoping the Twins can make a comeback starting this weekend. but i think i have been hoping for that all year. it almost feels like the Twins are crossing the road into Superior, WI, you know the place where hope dies. it's true. ask anyone from the Twin Ports.

if football is starting to gear up and get ready that means hockey is only six weeks away. YEA!

new job. new apt. new experiences, challenges and hurdles. life after the bridge. autumn (fave season) right around the corner. bands i like are coming to town before the end of the year. apparently there could be another Bourne edition. i'm happy, overall. and hoping my happiness won't hinder my writing. only in my warped brain could that be an issue and well, that's one of a million reasons of why i am who i am.

Catch Up Session with ....well, me, of course

2007-08-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

it's been several consecutive back-t0-back-to-back-to-back busy days in these parts. a quick recap:

i have got up on sleep from Red Cross volunteer duties. that's good.

got a new job and start on monday. and you know, that's good.

finishing up on the freelance projects, we are in final stages. so getting some cash flow so i don't have to be "angry, young and poor" anymore. that's good.

realized i can polish off a 12 pack of beer on my own and not have a hangover the next day, only if and only if i have some good pizza as a base. realizing i'm a chick and can be having a good time without the hangover. that's good. but also a little troublesome the 12 beers and maybe that explains why my jeans fit a little tighter these days. oh well. i like moderation and i like to stumble into obliviation from time to time. and you know, that's good.

michael cuddyer going 0-4( ohfour) not so good.
Twins losing a series to The Royals, not so good.
amanda winning (a kitten and a woman who prolly graduated same year as HS as me) not so good.

so final count good 4, not so goods 3.
it's been a good week.

I'm gonna be a 55406 girl

2007-08-08T07:44:00.000-05:00

ok, so this isn't as catchy as 90210. but for a MPLS lady who has resided in 55455, 55413 and 55408 only -- this is significant. a change to 55406. what will i do will myself?

LOVE IT! that's what.

here's the skinny. was looking for a place in st. anthony main or the lower (south to the logical peeps) part or NE. with bridge and devastation, while I don't think it will be too big of a deal getting around, it will be a little more difficult to haul my shit around. and in case i haven't mentioned it before --- I loathe moving.

so it's going to be sealed tomorrow. i guess i have 24 hours to change my mind. but it's too sweet of a deal, i can commute by the LTR if needed and what else. it just feels right. sometimes, actually more times often than not, you gotta listen to your gut -- and gut says this is fantastic.
(and when does your gut ever think anything is fantastic? state fair season and some cheese curds, but even the overdose on curds can make you tummy unhappy? hhmmmm......)

Oh for Embarrassing .....

2007-08-07T14:58:00.000-05:00

This from yahoo about best/worst moves this NBA off-season. I think it is accurately titled NBA winners and losers. I'm not even a NBA fan, but I have to agree whole-heartedly.

Kevin McHale. He's turned into the Matt Millen of the NBA. Across the past two years, McHale has inexplicably brought back nine Boston players to the Wolves. It's nice and all that Minnesota is clearing cap space, but here's the problem: The guy who banked on Joe Smith, Marko Jaric and Eddie Griffin farmed out No. 1 picks for no return?

Well, he'll still be picking the players.

Again and again, McHale failed to make Garnett the cornerstone of a contender. Now, he has gutted a lottery team in the Eastern Conference and made it his own. Despite his stature as a beloved son of Minnesota, it's hard to believe Wolves fans have much patience left with him.

FOR THOSE INTERESTED I FINALLY HAVE FOUND A HEALTH INSURANCE JOB THAT I LIKE. AND A NEW APARTMENT. AS ICE-CUBE LIKE TO SINCE CIRCA EARLY 90s "I GOTTA SAY IT WAS A GOOD DAY (DOO-AAHH-DO, DOO-AAHH, DO)

**** For those not familiar with this fine ditty lyrics below*********
Smooth.. heh.. yep..
Heheheh.. remix..

Just waking up in the mornin gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barkin from the dogs, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn't pig out
Finally got a call from a girl I wanna dig out
Hooked it up for later as I hit the do'
Thinkin will I live, another twenty-fo'
I gotta go cause I got me a drop top
And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop
Had to stop, at a red light
Lookin in my mirror and not a jacker in sight
And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim, and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin y'all
Which park, are y'all playin basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and got a triple double
Freakin niggas everyway like M.J.
I can't believe, today was a good day

That's right..

Creep to the pad and hit the showers
Didn't even get no static from the cowards
Cause just yesterday them fools tried to blast me
Saw the police and they rolled right past me
No flexin, didn't even look in a brother's direction
as I ran the intersection
Went to $hort Dog's house, they was watchin Yo! MTV Raps
What's the haps on the craps?
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of homies and watch me break 'em
with the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Seven even back do' Lil' Joe
Picked up the cash flow
Then we played bones, and I'm yellin domino
Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A.
Today was a good day

Hehe..

Left my homie's house paid
Picked up a girl been tryin to do since the twelve grade
It's ironic, I had the brew she had the chronic
The Lakers beat the Supersonics
Felt on the big fat fanny
Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny
And my jimmy runs deep, so deep
So deep put her butt to sleep
Woke her up around one
She didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the top gun
Drove her to the pad and I'm coastin
Took another sip of the potion hit the three-wheel motion
I was glad everything had worked out
Dropped her butt off and then chirped out
Today was like one of those fly dreams
Didn't even see a berry flashin those high beams
No helicopter lookin for the murder
Two in the mornin got the Fatburger
Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp
And it read, "Ice Cube's a pimp"
Drunk as hell but no throwin up
Half way home and my pager still blowin up
Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I gotta say it was a good day

Fitting Words for Trying Circumstances

2007-08-06T12:49:00.001-05:00

WHEN MINNESOTA WEEPS...

Whatever the calamity and wherever its locale -- a hurricane in New Orleans, an earthquake in Central America, a famine in Africa -- this much is certain: The people, communities and congregations of Minnesota won't be outdone in their generosity of supplies, money and time at the scene. Helping others in need is part of the Minnesota ethos, a culture constitutionally incapable of proclaiming, "Me first."

So when a major bridge collapsed Wednesday evening in Minneapolis, one psychic reflex was to ask how the rest of us might help.

The early answer: The modern inheritors of a tough prairie culture's stoicism and self-sufficiency will handle their losses by themselves. If we can generalize: Asking for sympathy isn't in the emotional repertoire of the typical Minnesotan.

The fall of a high and wide bridge, and the resulting tumble of cars into the Mississippi River that flows from an upstate Minnesota lake, is a common phobia come horrifically to life. Commuters headed home after work, baseball fans bound for a Twins game -- all of them trusting in the tidy rituals of urban travel: We believe in the integrity of our bridges and roads, to the extent that we think about them at all, because few among us have ever seen one fail.

As residents of the Twin Cities metropolitan area mourn their casualties, there may be little tangible that those of us elsewhere can do to assist. If that is so, we at least can halt our own routines to acknowledge a troubling paradox: People who've given so much to so many now will bolster one another in their own hour of need. So it is when Minnesota weeps.

Editorial in Chicago Tribune. Thanks to our friends in the Windy City and throughout the world.

Quotes as We Go Forward ...

2007-08-06T10:28:00.000-05:00

"If a bridge made of iron, steel and concrete can fall down, then a human bridge of faith, trust, confidence and hope must be established." --Hamdy El-Sawaf of the Islamic Jurisprudence Council of Minnesota.

and I admit I'm agnostic, but it struck a chord.

"Great heart will mend.......You [Minnesota] have a gift for organizing to do the right thing. You're [MPLS] a great city with a big heart, and you're the heart of a great state....You're a city with a heart - a heart temporarily severed. Don't worry. You'll be OK, Minneapolis. The physical infrastructure linking your great centers of education and commerce may be down for a time, but your gridge to the futre, your social infrastructre, remain intact. You'll be fine, and for those of us who lived and thrived there will always love you for what you are."
--Dr. Richard L. Reece, Old Saybrrok, Conn.

Back to Trivial Life after the Bridge

2007-08-06T08:25:00.000-05:00

It's a bit hard to write about films, CDs, books, WTF moments after the devastation that occurred last week. As I type @ approximately 8:26 a.m. CST there are divers looking for loved ones. When they do have the final count for those missing or dead I think you will see such a diverse cross-section of the Twin Cities that those people outside of the metro area might be surprised. Older upper middle-class, immigrants, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children, people with disabilities, people just passing through, those who took it everyday.

But we have to move on. This doesn't mean we forget. This doesn't mean we don't care. It just means that in order to function and survive we have to take pleasure in the other details of life. We have to slowly change the water cooler conversation. And each of us will decide to focus on something else when it is our time.

I realized having gone up north to go home (something I already had planned before collapse) was that I needed to get out of MPLS. I needed to be away from President Bush, The Uptown Art Farse or Fair as it is known to others, to leave the scenery, take a break from The Red Cross and to re-charge my batteries, so to speak. It was good to be back in my roots. To see others I haven't seen in seven years. And to break in the fresh winds that blow up north.

But then it was time to come home. Time to be back in the city of Minneapolis that I love.

And coming back I thought of all the things that I love --- films, books, This American Life, music, sports. So what a better way to divulge into them all.

The Twins making a slight comeback in the Central. If Silva wins tonight I will be on the bandwagon, but let me see how "Hi--HO--Silva" does tonight.

I'm going to see the matinee of The Bourne Ultimatum today. It should be fantastic. I hoping I will have nothing but rave reviews. I heart this trilogy, which is surprising since it's not a romantic comedy, documentary or independent films.

Speaking of independent films I finished watching "Funny Ha Ha" and "Shortbus." For starters, just as "Funny Ha Ha" gets good and you get invested ....it ends. That's all I'm going to say. And it could be a day or a week in the life of any 20-something year old you know. As for "Shortbus" I had NO IDEA what it was going to be about. It happened to pop up in my NetFlix queue as I was searching for something else. And you know how sometimes the pop ad will recommend a movie and then have five other movies on the sidebar that if you liked those five then you would like the featured pop up movie. Well that's what happened with "Shortbus." And I must say it's a little like porn the beginning, but then it becomes a story about "sexual freaks who are similar to those that ride the short bus."

I liked it. I liked it a lot. I watched it by myself and I really resonated with all of the six lead characters but in different ways. Maybe it says I'm a freak as well, but I think the director and writer did a phenomenal job of making all of them human, outside of their "freakness."

Just downloaded the new Spoon album. The indie Austin band that could. Just got my The Format ticket in the mail. Looking forward to investing more time in both of these acts. And now that I know I am not moving until October, all should be fantastic.

Still reading Wuthering Heights. I have one book left on my summer-of-books-I-should-have-read-in-high-school-tour. Then it will be backed to the fine selections I chose for myself. Hurray!

One more finalist interview with just the executive director. But I'm not even phased or worried. Maybe I should be. But after everything that has happened since Wednesday, all I can be is myself. And I think that is all we can ask for from each other.

And We Go On .....

2007-08-05T17:39:00.000-05:00

Most of the world now knows about the collapse of the I-35W bridge.

It, like to everyone else, has made an impact in my life. On a personal, professional and perspective level. Where to start?

Professionally. I work in the PR field and serve as a PR volunteer for the Twin Cities Red Cross. So my job as a volunteer is to relay info from the disaster team to the communications team and then to the public. I also manned the media relations phone and set up interviews for Red Cross spokespeople. So I arrived to the Red Cross HQ at 9:10 p.m. on Wednesday, August 1st. The Red Cross had set up a Central Control Room similar to what a war room would look like. Each sections of the tables having responsibilities -- weather, disaster technology, services, mental health, public affairs (me) and so on.

Did I mention that August 1st was my first night as an on-call volunteer? Well it was.

So everything I learned was trial by fire and just being in the situation as using all of my skills to best help the organization, the media and the community.

As a professional, especially as a PR bitch, there is a bit of a weird feeling for handling a call from the BBC. You like it. You think "ohmigod I'm on the phone with the news director from the BBC." But then, also as a PR person, you come to terms that the only reason the whole world wants to be on the phone witht you, is because of disaster and tragedy.

Personally, I don't know anyone who is missing or has perished. I do know that I have seen the woman who worked at Thrivent Financial in their cafeteria when I used to work a block away from Thrivent. I know of a worker Monica Segura, who was on the bus with all kids getting off of it safely. I know Jay Reeves from the Red Cross who was one of the first on the scene. As giving Mpls is three degrees of separation, I feel, like others prolly that I will know someone who had a loved one on the bridge or hurt by it.

I know that I am a MPLS girl at heart with Northland roots. That is apparent. I know there is no where else in the world I would rather live, be and raise a family, when that comes to the point of having little mr./miss mpls'. I know that this community has always been resilient and will continue to prove that in the upcoming years. I know with the world watching us that we all stepped up in our own individuals ways to help. I am proud. And I'm still a tad sad. But the beat goes on, the divers continue to search, the Red Cross continues to help, and for those of us in MPLS, Twin Cities and Minnesota we will continue to hug our loved ones a little closer and determine the best ways we can help our Minnesota tribe. Because that's what we are. Whether in Duluth or Warroad, Rochester or Olivia, Minneapolis or St. Paul we are all moving forward. And it hurts that it takes a miracle or a tragedy to remind us of how united we are. But united we will remain as we move forward. Love to everyone -- Ms. Minneapolis.

What I Know of Now. (I-35W Bridge Collapse)

2007-08-02T12:58:00.000-05:00

I know that I am getting an hour or 90 minute nap and then am reporting back to Red Cross HQ. I know that this incident, tragedy, disaster, whatever term you would like to call it, is now a national story with national magnitude -- and here we are, us Minneapolitans, Minnesotans or transplants helping out.

I don't know much than the average person. I know what I have witnessed with me eyes and my own reports. Right now the most important thing is for people to stay away from the area. Everything last night was roped off from the Guthrie and all the way East. I'm sure today it is even more of the same. And probably even then some.

Having been part of the Red Cross response team and will continue to be part of the recovery team that happens over the next days and months, I have no idea what happened. I am thankful that nobody I personally know is missing and that I was prepared to help when this disaster struck MPLS. We can only hope and pray that people continue to be prepared in the future.

It's the Moments When Time Stands Still.

2007-08-02T09:31:00.000-05:00

A few things to consider. I am a live-long Minnesota girl. Growing up in the northland and frequently visiting the Twin Cities, along with going to the school @ the U of M, leaving off of 10th Street Bridge, and all other occurrences, I like prolly nearly anyone else in the Twin Cities has crossed that bridge on 35W going north or south. prolly a more accurate number is a few thousand times. it was how i got to class, to work, to visit family up north. it is prolly something I have traveled frequently.

When I was younger, I got bored easily and I wanted things to "happen" in my life. Now at 26, I realize I was too young and dumb to know better. My generation the cusp of X/Y has been shaped by 9/11, a war in Iraq and if you live in Mpls now a bridge collapsing. You remember where you are. You remember weird details --- smells, sights, how the world seems to slow down. And then you think of your loved ones and who could possibly be affected.

I am lucky all of my loved ones family and friends are safe.

I am also lucky to live and Minnesota and serve as a public affairs volunteer for the Red Cross Twin Cities Chapter. Nobody could have predicted that this would happen. Nobody would ever venture that a main atery to transportation would just fall into the Mississippi River 60 feet below. But I am lucky that we were ready. Volunteers, medical teams, first responders were calm, level-headed and acted heroically, whether they had a camera on them or not. Unless you were at the sight, the photos will tragic and castatrophic don't even give an actually glipse of what your eyes see before you when you are next to the River. It is something that "eyes only" should see.

And this made news fast. At the Red Cross I was fielding phone calls from Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong, France, the BBC or heard about people that were checking with phone calls from around the world. Loved ones in India wanted to know if there U of M grad student son was okay. There were hundreds of stories like this, just like there were hundreds of stories of Red Cross staff, volunteers and regular citizens who remained calm and acted the best that they could.

I am suppose to look for new places to live today. Ironically, one place I like is the StoneArch Aprts near the StoneArch Bridge. Don't think I will be visiting there. And that's ok. It's weird to move forward. I am still on-call for the Red Cross, so my life is a little bit in up-in-the-air, and that's ok as well. All of us in the Twin Cities will be okay again, eventually.

We are still in recovery mode and will continue to recover in months, years and decade. No one will forget where they were. Everyone will hug their loved ones a little closer. Even as I'm not a religious person, you can't help but send a happy thought or a loving thought out to those who have lost someone, or don't have answers.

I am MPLS proud for all sorts of reasons. And after only a few hours of sleep -- I didn't get home from Red Cross HQ until 3:45 a.m. -- I am hopeful, concerned, calm and doing the best I can to be the humane person I hope I am. I think the rest of the Twin Citians are doing the same.

Who has a case of the irritables? (I do, I do.)

2007-08-01T17:16:00.000-05:00

Warm weather makes me cranky. The humidity. The heat. I strongly dislike it. Won't it just freakin rain -- ASAP.

Nine degrees, or the boyband 98 degress has never done a thing for me. Muggy = Ms. Mpls crabby. And I can be a pill when I have the irritables? I don't like it. I'm snappy, meaner than usual and way more sarcastic and rude.

I'm not making excuses. I just want a label for my mood. And MAYO doesn't quality heat and humidity as medical irritability -- but you know what, fuck 'em @ Mayo. That's my policy.

Speaking of policies. I am heavily considering public policy school. Still a thought. But would be a good one. So where do I go from here?

Into a deep freeze cooler would be fantastic. Now if I could only get myself into one and not die like Punky Brewster's friend --though technically it was a freezer that she/he suffocated in. Oh Punky --- where are you and your boob reducation now?

Thanks for the memories KG

2007-07-31T16:25:00.000-05:00

i am not, nor have ever been a basketball fan. my love for sports -- the four major ones is as followed:
high school hockey, WCHA hockey, professional baseball, football, college football, NHL, college b-ball, NBA.

so i am not bill simmons when it comes to basketball. but i'm a little sad to see KG go. not that a think the KG deal is a bad one. with his monster contract there is no way the t-wolves can contend. they have a decent young nuclues to work with, as long as the kids don't bolt a la marbury style. but as a PR person i heart KG. always there with the charitable causes. good guy in the community, hell he even took a swing at Rick Rickert which is a-ok in my book. (never been much of an East Greyhound fan.)

but it still seems a bit surreal. and strange. no more KG. i hope he gets a ring. he deserves one.

what else? a bunch or weird random stuff has occurred since i left the friendly confines last week. just got back into good old MPLS late last night. gotta catch up on Age of Love, see how my final four is panning out. at this point -- i just want a coug to win and not Amanda. but what's a twenty year old cougar in the making to do?

Master of My Own Domain

2007-07-28T07:41:00.000-05:00

when you share a bed with someone, you get accustomed to their sleeping habits. snoring, blanket hogging, kicking, tossing and turning, drool on the pillow, talk in their sleep, and all sorts of weird baggage that comes with a person sleeping.

i sleep flamingo style. kinda on my left side. left leg straight, right leg with knee up towards my chin and bent. kinda like a flamingo. but here is the thing. i am a stationary flamingo. i will fall asleep and wake up in the same position as when i went to bed. my kicker is that i am up ridiculous early all on my own. i've never needed an alarm clock in my life. i don't know where i got this internal rise and shine thing, but it usually makes the person i am sharing a bed with not happy. because in the summer i am naturally up at 5 and ready to go, no coffee needed. so it is a pain in my side when i wake up before 5 and have to lie there calmly and quietly trying not to rouse (roose?) the other person.

so earlier this week when i had the bed to myself i felt like the master of my own domain. i could use all four pillows. sleep in the middle off the bed. turn our illegal ac all the way to high and put the fan on me. sleep with my favorite quilt. have the radio on at night or throw in my i-pod on my sleeping soundtrack. do you think i did any of these things? DAMN right I did. and it was gratifying and wonderful and i woke up at 5:15 and started dancing around in my underwear to The Current. why? because i could. master of my own domain, even if it was mere moments.

Harry Potter Hangover

2007-07-25T10:16:00.000-05:00

I'm not suffering for what's mentioned above. Nope. Having only read the first two book and have only seen the first three films, I'm not suffering from a Harry Potter hangover. But I have plenty of loved ones who are. You see the final book came out this weekend (unless you were living under a rock you prolly knew as much) and the latest movie opened the week before. So needless to say, all of the Gryffendor groupies out there are in remission and are need of some serious drugs to cure their hangover.

As loved ones to such people with the disease, there are a few warning signs.

First, check the eyes. They could be weary and tired from having sped read through a 700+ page novel. And depending on where your loved one is in the spectrum of the "gryffendor groupie" they could already be re-reading

Second, looks for marks on their head. Some of the crazies actually dress up as such characters and find themselves will strange and peculiar marks on their face.

Third and final, look for your friend who is a little happy but a little depressed. Kinda of what I suspect a teenage mom would be like after giving her kid up for adoption. They are happy and satisfied knowing Harry (and child) will have a good life, but sad that they have to let it go.

Knowing J.K. Rowling there could be a potential hotline for those with the Harry Hangover. But as much obligation to the word, keep in my these three tips.

Oh and while everyone else is suffering from harry hangover, I have been practicing for World Series of Pop Culture. I was rusty to begin with, but now watch out baby, I'm on fire. And leading one of the categories today. I've succumbed to my own devices --- random trivia.

It's what I didn't want to do before interview

2007-07-24T07:24:00.000-05:00

so for those who read my rambles, you prolly get a sense of who i am. how misfortunes or oddities happen on a frequent basis, that i usually have a comment for just about anything and that i am not a "speechless" person. hence the irony in the title. but yesterday.

let the record state i am usually a timely person in my professional life. personal life, i am vague and a big fan of the "ish" term. 5:30ish , 7ish, you get the deal. so yesterday i can't find the place i am suppose to be in an interview. it was a very humbling and embarrassing experience. i literally was looking at the building but for a lack of signage drove around it several times. but at least i was calling the person i was interviewing with so let them know i was going to be tardy. so i am already five minutes late and feeling like a fool. good start, kid.

i feel like i tell very long stories for my answers. i am trying to be the rambles to a minimum. but they are asking 7 questions in one question and i'm trying to answer everything.

i said "freakin" in the interview. that can't be good.

it last for two hours. which was prolly 45 minutes longer than they thought it was going to go. but i know they want a candidate with all of my lovely qualifications. and since i'm little miss nonprofit (see earlier entry for more info) and this was a nonprofit, that's gotta count for something. but here is the kicker. i go to leave, throw on my $9.99 shades from Heartbreakers and one of my lenses falls out. Nice. that's classy. jeepers, whatta embarrassing experience. but my bravado was not embarrassing, except maybe to myself. oh the pain. and i get to sit with it all day and hope that scott baker can pull out a W.

Retrieve a Golden in Minnesota

2007-07-23T11:31:00.000-05:00

I'm in love. Stop the presses. I am in love, twice. And it fills my heart up with warm fuzzy feelings and I can't even stand it. I'm in love with a brother and a sister.

That's right. I am in love with siblings. Who were left on the side of the road to die. It's not just my heart strings or this sounds like the dismal flick Grey Matters, featuring the mother of Tom Brady's soon-to-be-son. These siblings are so adorable, I feel I couldn't love one without the other.

And I am moving into (hopefully) an apartment that will take pets. Goodness aren't these guys adorable. It tugs on my heart strings. Yes I'm a softy when it comes to big dogs. But these two where thrown off of a truck on the highway and Dodger the yellow one was burned by car exhaust. They are so little and adorable. Usually I am partial to taking the older dogs since no one wants a dog over 10, but these two are so freakin adorable. I'm in love with siblings.

Friendly Man Dates

2007-07-23T07:46:00.000-05:00

What happens when you have more opposite friends than same sex friends? You have what I call the friendly man dates. Female and Male don't think of it as a date, they just think of it as drinking beer, talking smack and catching a sporting event. But everyone else on the PLANET will assume that you are either a) on a date b) currently dating c) marriend and can' wait to have babies.

Yes all of these things occurred to me on a glorious Sunday Twins game. WTF?

I went with my guy pal JW. We've been friends for a few years. Thrown together by a mutual friend we both have in common. Mutual friend moved out of state, to below the Mason Dixon line, and now me and JW hang out frequently. So he had free tickets, called me up and we go.

Now we don't hold hands or have any other body language that would suggest we would be dating. We also have never been friends with benefits or anything of the sorts. But we have pretty decent friend banter. Not different from any other male in my life. I like to think I was a born conversationalist -- but that doesn't get you anywhere in this world. Except to become a smart ass with a wicked tongue lashing.

So we walking from LTR and a baby boomer couple, who obviously wanted us to overhear them, says "aren't they a cute couple. betcha it's their first date."

My head spins like Linda Blair's in the Exorcist to catch a glimpse of couple, secretly wishing they are having the awkward first date, so that me and JW can mock them. Turns out the baby boomers were talking about us. Just the more reason I don't want to bust my butt to pay for their new condo is Boco Raton.

JW and I exchange perplexed eyebrows to each other. Shrug it off and continue to Gate G. While standing in line, this OBNOXIOUS teenage couple are playing a game. How long do you think the other female-male people in line have been dating? Never taking into consideration friendships or asexuality. C'mon kiddies. I think I overhear 13 months. Random. I've known JW longer than 13 months, but again, WTF.

So now after all of this dating talk, I'm convinced we are going to be on the Kiss Cam during the date. And since I've never thought of JW like that in any sort of way, we both exit for the concessions during the KissCam part of the evening. Only to have a drunk (I hope) woman gush "you two will have the cutest babies. oh your parents should be proud."

I am not kidding. This all happened. Luckily the game sucked so we could bolt right after McDonald struck out. Say goodbye and go our separate ways. I told JW it was because he was will me and that WTF moments happen to me all the time. He agreed and also said that's why he likes hanging out. Because if the WTF moments don't occur, someone will inevitably ask me for directions. It's true. And I have an Army of witnesses for the latter.

So where does this leave me? Good question. I think I'll save it for Ben Tracy on WCCO.

Who wants to help me take down Twisted Misters?

2007-07-22T10:31:00.000-05:00

now i usually don't watch too much tv. the occasional or frequent trip to neighborhood bar for sports games and ESPN highlights. but yesterday i succumbed to spending the entire day watching the world series of pop culture. and dammit who wants to be on my team?

most of my friends wouldn't participate. but i think there could be a decent shot. so i am sending my sos to the world, STAT. who wants to compete with me? we discuss strengths and weaknesses, etc. etc. i already have a great MINNESOTA team name but I am open to suggestions. BTW team name i thought of this morning: The Hopeful Replacements Reign and ode to the (Olympic) Hopefuls, The Replacements and Prince's Purple Rain. Or Sin Cities aka Minneapolis and Saint Paul from Drop Dead Gorgeous. but again, open to suggestions. actually i think i found people to consider, but am willing to look for other candidates. because dammit, i want that trophy and some cash would be nice. i feel like lorelai wanting the dance title over kirk. it will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine.

A Day in the Life

2007-07-21T08:54:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I woke up got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Found a way .....Just kidding. I did not have "A Day in the Life" according to The Beatles. Although that is one of my Top Five Beatles' songs. In no particular order
A Day in the Life, In My Life, Norwegian Wood, Something, Here Comes the Sun and honorable mentions to Hey Jude, Golden Slumber/Her Majesty and While My Guitar Gently Weeps

So here was my plan for yesterday. Run errands. Catch bus. Go to library drop off and get new book preferably one I should have read in high school but never got around to reading. Meet former boss @ Chipotle on seven corners and then walk my beer drinking tire of a self back to my home near uptown. So I accomplished the first four. Then I took a detour. I called a former co-worker and friend. We had plans a few weeks ago, wanted to see how she was doing, etc. etc. It was prolly 2:30 when I stopped by. Didn't leave former employer until 5:30 and then went to a Twins game (which was phenomenal) BTW minus the 3 errors. How do they win with three errors? But a Twins win and Tigers loss is A-ok by me.

What a weird day to others, but not to me. I was downtown from 10:30 am to 11:30 at night. And I don't even work downtown anymore. Yesterday I wrote about writing from my former employer. It got better. Once I posted, I got a call from a perspective employer and set up my interview at one my old co-workers desks. Holy hilarity. When I write the book, that story will have to be in it somehow. It doesn't even seem plausible, but the older I'm getting the more I am realizing my life is, well, you know, a-typical.

More happy travels to follow later I can only hope.

Holy Shit Batman ... is this really my life?

2007-07-20T16:07:00.000-05:00

Only in my world could I be blogging from a computer at my former employer. Just the thought of it is letting the little imp in my giggle in delight. It's so bizarre. But has one of my former supervisors put it, "you are the type of person who brings oxygen into the room." And I know what she means. But still the actualization of sitting and typing this with my i-pod brings back so many memories. Thank goodness I wasn't blogging when I worked here, I would get NOTHING accomplished.

Sometimes, actually most of the time my life isn't surreal. It's when I have these hovering moments, where I feel like I am this levitating girl watching my life from an aerial view. Only then is when I get goose bumps and have the realization that sometime my life is well, bizarre and filled with a lot of WTF? moments.

But I wouldn't want it any other way.

Why? If anything it makes to be a good story teller. And when you work in my industry, being a story teller is absolutely essential. It also helps to be slightly crazy, roll with the punches and ability to turn on a dime. At least that's what I've learnd in my first five years post-college.

So now the Blonde Squad I can hear them over my i-pod and they are at least 30-50 feet and a door closed away from me. I think if I still worked here with them I would have lacerations in my eyeballs or would have attempted work-suicide a few times. You know work suicide? It's those moments that Michael Douglas' character has in Falling Down. I suppose you could call it going postal but that seems so 1986. I think word suicide should catch on. But I also think "a conflict of logic" should be a logical and viable complaint to most HR departments. Sadly, I am wrong, like usual.

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." - Maya Angelou

Seriously. These used to be quotes I had to find and incorporate into marketing pieces. Whatta bunch of shit. If you are going to make statements like this, follow up with action. But alas, that again, would be logical.

Goodness, it will be scary when I take over the world. The party will be called off due to the fire in hell.
:)
Cheers everyone. Here's hoping the Twins can get back on track and attempt to make wild card race interesting. I'm, as always, cautiously optimistic.

"You can't quantify inspiration"

2007-07-20T08:13:00.000-05:00

I struggle. Hard to believe, huh? Ms. Mpls would struggle with things. But I am human like everyone else. I struggle personally, it's usually my mouth that gets me in trouble or says things not intended for how they are delivered. You'd think being in the communication field I wouldn't have this issue, but my mouth and what comes out of it is a double-edged sword.

My current struggle. It's professional. It pertains to getting results and being inspired. Here's my dilemma. I know I am a results-driven worked. I've got the accomplishments and accolades to prove it. So I like producing. I believe in capitalism, although I prefer socialism cause I think we all need a safety net now in then through this thing called life. And I also am competitive, so results seem like a game to play. Games as a sport, wonderful. Games as to relationships or dating - F that.

So here I struggle between getting results and being inspired. But you can't quantify inspiration. You can't put it in a box and measure it, test it and figure how to replicate it. It doesn't work that way. And I think I chose inspiration over results, but inspiration doesn't pay my World Perks Card bill. Quick departure -- I have a free ticket to anywhere continental US but have no $$ to spend when I arrive at the city. Sad. Continuing -- and I am inspired, sure by my family and friends and by the things I like --- Bill Simmons, Dave Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, Jack Kerouac, The Format, Minnesota Twins, ESPN, NPR, The Current, History Boys, Dr. King, etc, etc.

So how do I take these things that inspire me and help myself pay the bills. I know I'm not gonna resort to Destiny's Child - "if you pay my bills, you pay my credit card bills, I know we are through, so ....." but what's a girl to do?

It's prolly a good thing that you can't quantify inspiration. Because if it could be replicated it won't be as valued as the original. Something would get lost along the way. But why do I follow my artsy heart instead of my logical head? I guess because if there is a coin toss I'd always choose to be inspired (challenged and happy) over getting results and paying bills.

I guess it's more bologna on hand sandwiches for me.
(that's not true, I just remember that from the Metallica Behind the Music. Not that I have cable to enjoy it, but whatever happened to Behind the Music?)

Sayonora Mary

2007-07-19T11:54:00.000-05:00

Back from the lake and Back to the Future without the Parkinsons disease. Luckily. Although I was never a huge MJ Fox fan, or Alex P. Keaton for that matter. I do find it disturbing that Parkinsons diseases exists. Sad.

But on a more cheerful note. Mary from Age of Love, my guilty pleasure for the summer was sent sailing.

Buh-bye.

Ohmigod. She irritated the shit out of me. Who cries that much? "I'm 24 I should know better,"she proclaimed. Are you freakin' kidding me? I'm a few years older than you, identify myself with crazy Maria and yet I know that I occasionally make poor decisions, but so what. Live and go on. And don't even get me started on the other two 20 somethings. Sick.

But I made a prediction early on that the final four would be Adelaide (we share similar dates) Jen, Maria and Amanda. So it's down to five and I still have three in it. Although watching the show sometimes I feel like it's going to be between Jayanna and Megan, but there's something about Maria and her calling it like it is. Maybe I like her the most and identify with her the most so I want to win.

Jesus, I could discuss this show at lengths. I think I need serious help.

Speaking of SOS. I nearly strangled myself to death with an i-pod cord in my sleep. Sounds like a freakin' Darwin death. Can you image the headline: "Mpls woman found executed by i-pod cord." ok, so I admit to being vain and wanting my mug on jacket sleeves, but I don't want my face on the Star Tribune to be with the above headline or caption. Luckily, I awoke to free myself from i-pod strangulation.

Back to the grind. Literally. Working tomorrow and thru the rest of the month. Sometimes freelancing sucks. But I shouldn't complain. Out of the last 20 days I've spent 11 at the Lake. Notta bad gig. But its HOT back in MPLS and I'm not a fan of anything over 84 degrees. And humidity -- fogetta-boutit. I think I would melt to death like the Wicked Witch of the West if I lived in anything below the Mason Dixon line. Either that or the intolerance-racism-slow-pace-to-life would be my ticket out of the world. That's another sad death, but at least it wouldn't be i-pod strangulation.

So kiddies, it might be some time off so I can (ahem) work. Jesus. And I'm not even close to retirement age.

But if I was going to kill anyone ....

2007-07-13T17:27:00.000-05:00

it might be mary from my guilty pleasure "Age of Love." ohmigod. she cries. all the time. ALL THE FREAKiN' TIME. it hits my up-chuck/irate factor, which is tough combo to get out of me. tipsy and fast talkin', yes. laughing and sarcasm, a given. but to make me get slightly angry and want to throw up, almost impossible. it's something about mary, and not in the good cameron diaz way.

she's unbelievable. i don't know how she's made it this far. she has no respect for the cougs ( BTW i'm rooting for maria or jen. i think maria is too smart for him and if jen kisses him more i think she has a shot, based on their last week kiss.)

god i can't believe i'm discussing this. it's friday the 13th, i'm allowed to be weirder than normal. although that sounds like something the stupid frat boys said during the gopher hockey riots.

oh gopher hockey -- hats off to thee.

back to killing mary. oh geez, just take a glimpse for yourself. and if you can make an episode without rolling your eyes around her, with you are a more patient person than I.

happy weekend, everyone. off to the lake again. so no it's some work, a lot of play and minimal blogging. unless of course it rains.

Do I have the power to kill?

2007-07-13T14:24:00.000-05:00

That sound morbid. But it's not. Lemme explain.

Last week I was having a conversation with a friend and I referenced Lady Bird Johnson. Which caused the conversation to project into another conversation -- I know, go figure. Was Lady Bird Johnson still alive? Did she happen to die and we missed that headline? And if she is alive, she's gotta be close to 100. This conversation occurred last Saturday.

And what happens this week. Lady Bird Johnson dies on Tuesday or Wednesday after 95 or so years on this earth. Coincidence? Perhaps. Did I cause her death? No. But it's a bit eerie that she died 96 hours after discussing if 1.) she was still alive (turns out not for much longer) 2.) yes she was close to 100. 3.) didn't miss the headline in the Strib or online.

This really chokes me to admit it but I went 0-for-4 yesterday in softball. Pre-game I was moved in the batting order and choked that I wouldn't get a hit, since I wasn't hitting behind my lucky charm CB. Turns out, fairly accurate. Two walks, to infielder's choices and one lone RBI.
Do I have the power to hex myself? I think I've had it since I came sliding out of the womb.

But here's the last one. I mentioned a girl of a friend of a friend who is in the same business as I am in. I was meeting with a mentor. And I knew she knew of this woman, but it turns out she thought of her as she was driving to meet me. Strange. Here's were it gets really kooky. After meeting mentor I check email. I get this thing from IABC and the person I mentioned, and the person mentor was thinking of was highlighed in my email.

So if I have these powers for evil and strange, is there a way I can reap benefits from them? Could I get a Harry Potter wand, have a game of Quibbage and someone score a "real-job"? Prolly not. So instead I'll be a little more careful with the death comments, cause I don't want to ever have the power to kill anyone. Kill thoughts yes -- racism, and most other isms, but not folks. Unless of course I kill the with kindness, and I think that ability is way out of my powers.

Read at your own disclosure (might be graphic for some readers)

2007-07-13T08:12:00.000-05:00

So we are at the softball fields last night, staying long after they shut down the lights. So as we are sitting in the dark, drinking and conversing, naturally I have to be at around 11:45 p.m. So I drop sweats and squat behind a pole. Having broken the seal on a many occasions, I can tell if I've had too much by how balanced or unbalanced I am at squatting. Last night, I could have gotten a perfect 10 on the balance beam for my squat. I finish business and look up at the starry, pleasant night, glad I have my OFF on so to not inquire a mosquito necklace or anklet, and then it dawns on me. This feels like underage drinking in high school. The finding a spot to pee where no one can see you, peeing in generally on the grass, being out past midnight on a school/work night. All memories that were repeated fondly in my youth.

Jesus Christ on the Cross, I'm pathetic.

2007-07-12T11:03:00.000-05:00

So freelancing has it perks. And as for those of you who need my tangents and refuse to comment, you know I've been looking for a full-time, health care included place of employment.

While I have money coming in for projects those checks aren't going to come until the first Monday in August. And because bills still pile up at the end of the month and being the good credit score girl I am I don't want to bounce anything. So what have I been doing since I woke up this morning? Burning CDs onto my I-pod so I can sell them at Cheapo. I thought the point of getting out of school and gaining five years of work experience was suppose to get you out of the situations? Jesus Christ on the Cross at this rate tomorrow I will be donating plasma. Sad. Pathetic. But I'm too proud to ask parentals for a small loan of sorts. So here I sit downloading and lamenting. Although on the positive, it truly puts into perspective two things. 1.) Less shit to haul when I move which is always a perk and 2.) Those CD that I am keeping are because I have to like most of the album when I go on a road trip. Which is a pretty good indicator if you ask me.

But still I feel pathetic. All these side steps I've been taking recently or step backwards as my folks like to remind me, when soon I will catapult ahead of my classmates. Well, at least that is what I keep telling myself when I twist my invisible evil mustache. Riiiiiiiiiight.

Miss Nonprofit 2007

2007-07-12T07:28:00.000-05:00

That's me. Well at least that feels like me these days. Since I've been working from home for the last while (aka getting final interviews and tanking them apparently on a frequent basis) I've been doing freelance work for nonprofits. I'm also on a few board of directors, which I always find amazing and ridiculous. Sort of like these folks are seeing my upside potential and that in 25 years I will be ruling the Twin Cities scene. JK. I don't think that, except I do strive to (someday) be in The Business Journal's 40 Under 40 and is it a nice feeling to be a respect Board of Director, where people appreciate what you can bring to the table. Because I definitely lacked that at my last two jobs.

Why do chicks in power find me intimidating?

I'll never understand. As I was saying.

Oh yea, my little miss nonprofit crown. The distinctions, besides playing a sweet ass piano recital and being able to lay out a plan for world peace I've been involved with the following organizations in the last two years:

Big Brothers Big Sisters
Red Cross
United Way
YMCA
YWCA
The Arc
Junior League
CommonBond

All good organizations in their own way. Plus I can twirl a mean baton and my sash is never out of place or wrinkled and I inspire little girls across the Twin Cities as a role model.

Who am I kidding? I'll never be Miss Anything, except Miss Smart Ass. And now that's crown I wear with my head held high. And I've self-labeled myself Ms. Minne and I'm not giving up that title. Nope, I'm gonna be like Roger Federer at Wimbledon and not let anyone snatch away my title on my favorite surface ( aka the Twin Cities and esp MPLS) So if there are any female Rafa Nadal's out there -- good luck trying to snag my name and title. Ha!

Ok, I just had an "aawww snap moment" and it's not even 7:45 am. Christ, I'm crazy.

It's the Sound of Silence ... or Sex.

2007-07-11T08:04:00.000-05:00

"Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk to you again," sings Simon and Garkunkel. So while watching the All-Star game last evening I fell asleep on the couch. No surprise since it was kind of a boring game, although Ichiro's inside the park homer was kinda cool. Too bad, due to him and Johnny Damon, the Twins don't have a shot at keeping Torii Hunter, unless he takes a very good hometown deal. So I wake up around 11:30 and head to bed.

I'm tossing and turning for about an hour. And I'm just on the cusp of falling asleep, when I start to hear a mattress noise. And it's not mine. That's right, the 19-year-old-Aveda-in-training upstairs neighbor is having sex. And her mattress is taking a beating.

I've been scarred with sex stories since high school. And I really think it's because I never want to know anyone's stories that this stuff happens to me. Luckily, upstairs girl and her friend weren't making any noises, only the mattress was. But still. All I could do was put my pillows and holler "LA-LA-LA-LA-LA" at the top of my lungs, hoping with my window open they would hear me and at least tone it down.

I don't know if it's their age, if alcohol was involved or if they heard me, but exactly three minutes of my "La-LA-La-ing" it, silence returned. And yes, the sounds of silence were my friends. And I went to sleep, eventually.

"You Can't Catch Him, You Can Only Contain Him"

2007-07-10T07:29:00.000-05:00

Good-bye Dan Patrick. ESPN employee, anchor and all-round good guy. Made "the big show" with Keith Olberman and started taglines and phrases before it became the thing to do. I will miss his Dan Patrick back page of The Magazine and will miss the occasional times that I hear him on KFAN.

I've been without cable the last five years. But I can tell you my high school diet of television was saturated with Dan Patrick, Keith Olberman and Craig Kilbourne along with My So Called Life and prolly an Ally McBeal sidedish.

Wow, ESPN without Dan Patrick. I wonder if he has been my favorite anchor. Prolly. My least favorite is Linda Cohn and she's still there. I'd start a campaign against her, but that would be like kicking of Leslie V. of Monday Night Football and replacing her with Melissa Starks. That move is worse than Linda the female monarch anchor.

What else? So literally after I published yesterday's post on Social Commentators, I got a position where I get to be one! It's blogging for a site and paid per blog, but how hilarious is that! And a minute after that happy celebration, a job I sent in the mail and would arrive today, I found out from sources it's prolly gonna be filled by an internal candidate. Huh? The post went up last Friday. And yesterday I sent my stuff and you're telling me someone has already got it. LAME. LAME. LAME.

Yeah, but I get to be a social commentator. It kinds makes me feel like Carrie Bradshaw only without the manolo blahniks. Although for the sake of keeping it real, I'm a cross between Miranda and Charlotte. Weird combo, I know, but I'm weird and proud of it, damn it.

The negotiations with the social commentary are photos. They want to have me as a face on their blog. I object to this for several very important reasons.

1. Have you seen the Cyndy Burcato billboards? I don't my face to be the size of my duplex. Good God, how could I cover up all of my pores?

2. Sticking with those billboards, if anything I am a producer or a reporter, not the face of anything and I can do more than just look pretty, hit my sports and read cue-cards, so I don't want to be the "anchor" of a blog or the face of anything.

3. Now if there was a jacket sleeve, I'd proudly put my mug on that, but this is a website. When possible I keep tight control of where my face is on the internet. Words, not so much, but face definitely.

4. I'll get paid a standard fee. But if I drive traffic to site, more money for me. Good for me, yes? But it ruins my anonymity for blogs and the other blogs I can contribute to. Maybe I'll take pictures of my body and cut them off at the neck. Although ironically, my face is prolly my best feature, but it's worth it to remain anonymous.

5. I'm going to be writing under a moniker -- I hope -- so I know feel more than a person, I feel like a brand. Kinda like J-Lo, except, well I have nothing in common with J-Lo, except the whole self-branding thing.

So has things get going, I'll keep everyone posted. I can't believe I got a gig as a social commentator. I don't think I'll ever run out of ideas. Shit, I prolly just cursed myself with that comment. But if both Sox teams can win the World Series after their curses, I think I'm golden.

Social Spectator or Social Commentator?

2007-07-09T13:16:00.000-05:00

Social spectator or social commentator, it does beg the question of which one I consider myself more of. Without a doubt, it's social commentator. I partake in the world, but you would never find me standing on the sidelines. Instead I'd be on the bench, never taking a swing (but most definitely a swig of alcohol or listerine) and providing the color commentator to the daily activities of the world.

Is that a job -- daily commenting on the world -- if so, put me in cold coach, I'm ready to play. TO-DAY!

Ohmigod, can you image the hilarity on just making comments as you walked around Mpls? Holy, hilarity!! Maybe I could put that on craigslist and get a taker to pay me to be a social commentator. The only job more cush than that would be Sports Guy Bill Simmons, and I don't see him relinquishing that post any time soon, unless the Sports Gal uses her powers to the nth degree or the City of Boston sinks into the Atlantic Ocean.

So that is what I am going to put in the next resume I send. Past/Current Employment

Marketing, Web Site Development, Financial Development, Public Relations and Social Commentator.

Hey, anything is worth a shot these days.

Ground Control to Major Tom OR Clown control to Mao Tse Tung.

2007-07-09T08:51:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's what kind of Monday morning I am having. Took me over an hour for my damn Firefox to connect itself to this thing we call the internet. WTF? is that all about. Your job is to connect Firefox, why were you not connecting? Whatever. I'm so over that and onto my next fit of anger.

And I don't even like being irritated. It ruins my aura and spirit. Damn it. It's not even 9:00 a.m.

Hennepin County. It's on my shitlist. If I could I would leave the county and take up quarters in Ramsey County. But alas, moving is one of my least favorite things in the world to do, so instead I complain like the good natured American that I am. I needed that out of my system and if I tell the story regarding HC, I might end up at HCMC. There is not even a silver lining of humor in the damn thing. F'ing ridiculous.

What else has me worked up this a.m.? Stupid Roger Federer winning another Wimbledon title. I'm sick of seeing him, and I'm even more sick of seeing him and Tiger Woods in various commercials -- Nike, Gilette shavers, angst, I tell ya, angst. So I'm rooting for Roddick of Blake on US soil and might take a trip for the ATP in Cincinnati, just so I can cross Ohio off my list of states to visit.

Boy, did I love it that the Buckeyes choked in both the national football game and basketball game. Sure it would have been great for the BIG TEN, but not great for my morale. Can't stand Michigan or Ohio State. ick!

Why do blonde-haired folk grow mustaches? It never looks good on any of them, women included.

I need to power yoga or something to get all this bad energy out of my system. Luckily my i-pod is malfunctioning, so I get to take a stroll to the apple store. Maybe the walk will work over my irritation. Or Lord only knows what the rest of this F'ing Monday will entail.

"Oh you'll like him, he's just like you."

2007-07-07T14:23:00.000-05:00

This is for all the singletons. Have you ever had that person in your life -- friend, family member, coworker -- who wants to set you up? And as a bonus they had this variation of the line to the mix: "oh you'll like so and so he's similar to you."

that is the biggest turn-off. almost worse than back hair.

Here's why. I like to think of myself as COCO.

Confident
Outgoing
Creative
Opinionated

I don't want my other half to be similar to me. In fact the only things I want us to have in common our sense of humor, love for sports and some intellect. Otherwise nothing else. Sure there are values, respect, honesty, blah, blah, blah, that shit means nothing to me. I'm concerned about the first three, after that the rest just falls into place.

Here's is why I am totally turned off my people who say I should meet someone similar to myself. After COCO, I value independence and individuality, I like to think there is one and only ME and I am on a platform, not in platforms, all by myself. Sure others can be parallel or even on a similar shaped platform, but that there is some difference. I've never wanted to be like anyone else (thank you mother for that trait) and have always gone to the beat of my own drumming, even if no one else heard the rthymn (sp check, that word has always stumped me, prolly why i got a lower ACT score 24)

Second, if you are an outgoing person, the last thing you want to date is another outgoing person. Why? Because then you start to fight for attention. Which is why none of my boyfriends have ever been outgoing except maybe my first serious one in 8th grade. And BTW is was way too pretty for me.

Which is point three - you never want to date someone prettier than you. It brings up weird issues. Just trust me on this, puh-leeze.

I guess I like subtle confidence, unlike my brazen self. It balances out the equation. And I guess I like boys to be creative in their own way, it just shouldn't be in the form of writing, sports or pop culture references. I feel the need to dominate these and become freakishly competitive. That I blame on being and oldest child.

Opinionated. Similar to creative and confidence but not in the mentioned above areas. So really now that I've stumbling upon this I just don't want an outgoing personality. Nope I think them introverted, mumblers with the quick one-liners. It balances me out. Do you think I could handle someone that labeled themselves Mr. Mpls? No, because I'd become meaner than I already am. The downfalls to having a quick, snappy brain, sometimes it works against you and you'd say things you'd prolly shouldn't have said. But when that happens you have to go into "closer mode" like a closer in baseball, shake it off and have no fear for the next comment. Because just like a relief pitcher, once I start to think consciously I've lost my mojo. Poof!

Now I'm tangled in tangents and the Twins are about to start. I hope they score another 16 runs, since that's the average of their last two games. Although knowing the Twins they could now go on a skid of four shutouts. But I don't see that happening because the Twinkies rule in July and the All-Star game is just around the corner.

Where have all my good thoughts gone?

2007-07-06T11:55:00.000-05:00

Upon my arrival to the stoop I call home I was full of ideas. Brilliant ideas. I could be the next person to win "You are Full of Brilliant Ideas" on ABC. Oh wait, that's not a show. Well it sounds like something stupid that would be on ABC or Fox. But as I was saying. Unplug me from the world for a week and my brain is on overdrive. Almost overkill. So many good ideas. And now that I've plugged back into the world, checked my email, ESPN.com and other favorite daily sites my ideas .... down the shitter. Or into there usual abyss.

And it's frusterating. I think, besides losing the ability to communicate, ALZHEIMERS, would be a serious form of torture/slow death for myself. Really, if I'm freakin out over some tangents that I thought of, can you image my horror when I won't recognize my would-be-someday-children? Jesus, if that's not depressing.

Here's another killer. I switch between apple laptop and PC. Excessive, I know. but I'm really good with the keyboard control keys, instead of just clicking on the icon. And now, since I've been unplugged with the world for a week, I can't recall how to un-italize. Sick. But also fairly amusing.

Thought I'd share that with you kiddies.

I'm thinking of writing a book. Well a collection of short stories. And if I dream about not becoming successul, that maybe success will fall into my lap, just like the birds that seem to always nail my driver's side window. Bastards. I really do think it is like that Farside with birds. That we people to them are just moving bullseyes to shit on.

Back to my book. Well the idea of writing something that could be published by an orignial printer and not just in cyberland. My vanity totally plays in with the idea of writing a book. Because I want to be almost famous. Not Kate Hudson, bandaids, and all that stuff. I want to be semi-famous, kinda like Dan Wilson from Semisonic, but without the glasses.

And if I ever decide to reveal myself you can guarantee I will share a story about one of those sentences in the mentioned above paragraph, but until then ... I carry on.

Here's my ego when it comes to Almost Famous, my version of it anyways, not Cameron Crowe's. I want to publish something and have it received like how City Pages adores Diablo Cody. So then when my proex photo is elegantely displaced on the jacket sleeve, (you gotta follow that rule. who's too cool to put their face on the inside sleeve of their book? not this girl. i whole heartedly object to face on covers of books, not a fan of that move, but the sleeve, all for it.) so my mug tactfully displaced on the inside cover. and then i will be grocery shoppin on some saturday morning when some woman says to me
"excuse me miss. i don't mean to be rude, but are you so-and-so who wrote -whatchamacallit"

And I will beam from ear to ear. Why? Because that's my vanity and ego rolled into one.

Which makes me think of beauty. I don't know why at the moment. I know I am not beautiful. Cute, check. Sometimes pretty, when the moment fancies. But beautiful, never have been. And over the weekend it occurred to me why I am not considered beauty on the outside. It has nothing to do with self-confidence or I wasn't loved as a child bullshit, it's because I have flaws.
And I think my flaws are strung together with good intentions and sarcasm. I embrace my flaws, even the premature stretch marks I can see coming. Because the imperfections I think are the best part of me and they are my favorite things when you share your life with other people. Sure mom can be wonderful, but her cooking is awful. And you can insert a different loved one into the equation and then switch the adjectives around. Aaaahhh, imperfections. They are great. And I embrace them. That is until I discovered crows feet.

I Couldn't Stay Away

2007-07-01T15:52:00.000-05:00

what does it say, when i'm on vacation and find an internet connection and feel compelled to blog? i think it says i'm lame, or pathetic.

i got another rejection letter. and poor boy called me all excited because they sent me a package, returning my writing samples, only to tell me "thank you for your interest, blah, blah, blah."

i'm getting more and more convinced that i'm going to work as a consultant or go into business myself. screw it. because if no one wants to hire me or doesn't seem my ultimate upside potential possibilites -- fuck 'em.

now that that is out of my system i have been enjoying myself at the lake. yesterday and friday were both fantastic and tonight will be fish fry, which you can't go wrong with that. followed by making our way to zorba's for the twins/tigers game and driving the el camino. that's right. i'm gonna repeat myself. a 197g grey el camino. does life get more fantastic than that? please don't respond.

people i know are getting ready to leave for NYC. which makes me laugh at or more with them. there are five NYC virgins and they are spending time trying to get a different hotel room. one should not care what the room looks like. you are hardly going to be there people. really. why don't you listen to me?? i've been there at least a dozen times and there are still things i haven't gotten around to seeing. and do you know what i use the room for? to shower and sleep. that's it. silly rabbits. so they are using the other computer and i am trying hard not to mock them. hence why i type?
:)

but the other cool thing of the weekend (so far) is passing on my love for the gilmore girls to the next generation. it's fantastic. it puts a smile to my face. i can't wait to name my daughter Lorelai, much to the father's dismay. i'll write more in minneapolis. happy 4th people!

Vaca and I are BFFs

2007-06-29T08:08:00.000-05:00

i took a rocket shot off my right hand in softball last night. got the out. and no, i wear my glove on my left hand. don't ask. and this morning but padding on my palm between my middle and ring finger is absolutely throbbing. normally there would be more whining than this, but that's cause in few hours i'm off to a lake on northern minnesota -- one of my favorite things in the world.

it's not the girls in white dresses with papers sashes and snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes. these are not a few of my favorite things. its myself on a lake with alcohol and relaxing flowing in full effect. those are a few of my favorite things, thank you very much maria. sticking with the sound of music, i always changed that song "how do you solve a problem like maria" to my name. what kind of kid does that? exactly. but at least i wasn't prancing around my gazebo with a nazi named ralph. oh wait, we never had a gazebo in my middle class home.

so as i bid adieu to the twin cities until thursday, i will be out of commission. it's going to be fantastic. no emails. minimum phone calls. no working from home. no internet connection. it's fantastic to unplug yourself from the world and just float on a lake and be in touch with nature, to the best of your abilities. because keepin' it real we have running water and no outhouse. never a fan. always thought a spider was going to get close to my va-jay-jay or get a tick in my butt or something weird and prolly not highly likely.

yeah, vaca at the lake is my BFF. i throw the term BFF out there like players throw the term "i love you". but in minnesota is there anything more enjoyable than being on a lake in 80s degrees with sun, slight wind and a refreshing beverage in hand? i challenge anyone to a duel on this topic and will whole-heartedly disagree to an objectors. well now that i've drawn my place in the stand.

happy 4th festivities to those i know, those i don't and the strangers who troll around blogs.

Happy Birthday, John!

2007-06-28T07:52:00.000-05:00

Yes indeed. Happy Birthday to John Cusack, who today turns 41. Stars in the ultimate classics such as Sixteen Candles, Say Anything, Grosse Point Blank and High Fidelity.

His characters such as Lloyd Dobler and Rob Gordon are the sarcastic, under-achieving, moppy-eyed, no-girl-is-ever-going-to-be-happy-with-me variety. And you know wha t I've loved them. He also gets points for having his sister Joan in a few flicks, most hilarious in Con Air, being an avid Cubs fan and Clash fan. But loses a few for making the film America's Sweethearts and Must Love Dogs, along with reportedly making out with Britney, pre Britney-Come-to-My-Window-Juliette-Lewis-breakdown and before she popped out a few boys. So here's to you John Cusack! Happy birthday, you Chicago lovin' Irish lad!

100 Things to Accomplish Before I Die

2007-06-27T16:21:00.000-05:00

Now I don't know if I can name 100. But here's worth a shot. As usual with me, the ##s aren't of importance

1. Find someone to grow old with. (I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me, but as independent as I am, or think I am, I don't want to be alone all my life)

2. Skydive

3. Go to six out of seven continents. (only four more to go)

4. Go camping in the BWCA. I know. You'd think a girl from the Northland would have done something, but no.

5. Get a pilot's license

6. Hang glide.

7. Write a book

8. Get book published. C'mon people they are two separate tasks

9. Visit all of the MLB stadiums. I'm planning my someday honeymoon or some summer around this idea. I think it would be more perfect if I had a winnebago. Just the thought is like bad times on wheels. Two birds with one stone, that's what my book will be titled "The Good, The Bad and The Road to the MLB."

Wow. sometimes I amuse myself too easily.

10. Be a Roadie for a day.

11. Sit in for a song to play drums with any legitimate and relatively famous band

12. Learn another language

13. Avoid class reunions and go somewhere better that weekend

14. New Zealand, New Zealand, New Zealand!

15. White water rafting on Colorado River

16. Visit and kiss someone at Niagra Falls

17. Donate an organ to someone

18. Give enough blood over a lifetime to save a life

19. Adopt kids and maybe squirt out a few of my own

20. Tell my folks I love them on more regular basis

21. Streak when I'm in my 40s

22. Reduction of upper half. Not a lobotomy, but the other other half.

23. Learn to let go

24. Be completely vulnerable to someone

25. Hopefully never get divorced

26. Eat something that I caught myself or shot myself

27. Shoot a rifle

28. Always keep in touch my woman-girl self

29. Experiment with more recreational drugs in Amsterdam

30. Tip a cow. Kidding. Milk a goat

31. Try to climb on a horse again, after getting kicked off 20 years ago.

32. Always stand up for something

33. Always remembering my roots and where I came from, no matter where the wind blows me in this world

34. Remain open-minded to all possibilties

35. Threesome? Kidding, but maybe do something in that area that I wouldn't have considered. No specifics, though.

36. See any concert at Red Rocks

37. Finally see Radiohead in concert. Preferrably in the UK

38. Not have any cavities

39. Remain my firm butt and to not acquire mom butt -- ain't no flat thing, here.

40. Do an improv skit

41. Tap lessons

42. Learn to fox trot or waltz

43. Making a difference in someone's life, somehow for the better

44. Have a reliable job that I enjoy with benefits

45. To not have to touch my 401k until retirement

46. To reconnect with Z, wherever he is

47. To remain patriotic but questioning the government

48. Ski in Switzerland

49. Assist in Red Cross disaster relief efforts

50. Skate on XCEL ice with Brent Burns or other Wild players

Ok, so I'm sick of this and going to watch Jeopardy! Maybe I'll rattle off another 50 at a later date.

The Anti-Mentor

2007-06-27T15:02:00.001-05:00

So I've been whoring myself this week on interviews. Whoring myself, nothing new to these parts. But seriously, four interviews in five days. Virtual insanity, without the moving floor. But I've been thinking of the mentors in my life -- the things they've taught me, how they've helped me grow, etc. etc. But then I got to thinking about the anti-mentor. They people you vowed you would never turn into, or do things how they would do them, etc. etc. So for those of you who know me, you'll prolly know some of the anties, but it should be mentioned that I have learned just as much from the anties, that I have from the mentors.

Drum roll please for the anti-mentors list and what they will teach you.

Loyalty. You'll find out quickly from those that turn on you who you can and cannot be loyal to.

Character. I think to think I have and had character at places that I have been an employee. But anti-mentors will test your character. They'll test you on who you are and will help shape the person who want to become ... i.e. not them.

Handling confrontation. That's the biggest thing with the anti-mentor. They will challenge you on stuff, in front of people or challenge you in ways you didn't think possible. Such as working 90 hour work weeks and getting no recognition for it, or having them give the credit to someone else who hardly did poo. But they will also make you a fighter if you have the balls to be one, because you will get sick of taking their shit. It's true. In fact I've submitted a grant proposal just to consider exploring the idea. kidding, of course.

Blaming/Passing the Buck. Single-handedly the best thing I've learned from the anti-mentor. I'm a team player, I knew this before, put I will never put blame on an individual. We all sink and we all swim. And that I think encourages and fosters a good team spirit. When everyone has each other's backs and everyone believes and trusts each other. I think when you work in a "me" or a "blame atmosphere" the "it's-not-my-fault-but-(insert X name's)-fault" that you go counter to the working team environment you are trying to portray.

Never sit with you face to the door. It's uncomfortable to the people working under you and it's anti zen. It's passive agressive and more like a "keep you under my thumb" thing. If you think an office space (sidenote one of my top ten films) set-up doesn't play a role in the team dynamic, think again.

Now I could easily write a list about how great my mentors have been and the attributes they have. But what is great about people who are you mentor is they are there for you, they encourage you, they can be hard on you, but that toughness is out of love and not out of threat, or fear, or dislike. It's out of a good place. And besides things they would do, that's what separates the anties from the mentors. The anties are usually stuck in a place of negativity "I, I, I, me, me, me" or they are passive agressive, love power, or are socially inept. The mentors are usually a combo of the me-we, usually aggressive, may/may not love power, but love a team environment and are no way socially inept.

So lesson learned. Although it pains me to say it. I've prolly learned more from the anti-mentor, because I know who I am as an employee and person and know who I don't want to be, ever.

Tantric Tuesday or Gin and Tonic Tuesday to Come

2007-06-26T08:38:00.000-05:00

I've been up since 3:38 a.m. That's right. 3:38 a.m. Now am I Kim Insley working for KARE 11? That would be a big fat negative. And to be fair, I am a morning person. But not a 3:38 in-the-morning-person.

But I've been productive. Showered. Quick walk. Put together my soundtrack for my interview that I am leaving for in approximately 4 minutes. Fingers crossed. Although there have been some part time projects on my horizon that look interesting.

I want to settle something. About 4 years ago my friend B, claimed that out of The Hives, The Shins, Jet and White Stripes that The Shins would be the most successful. I claimed The White Stripes. And with their new stellar album out this week, I think I win.

Sometimes a girl just likes being right.

So I've decided since I've already been up for five hours that I am going to be more aggressive at this interview. Who knows, it's worth a shot? I figure I will kinda know once I get there what direction I would want to go. That's why intuition and reading people are my favorite skills.

And why tantric Tuesdy? It begs the question -- why not?

I'm a Cover Girl (no not the make-up)

2007-06-25T11:24:00.001-05:00

Cover Girl: noun. A female who enjoys songs already recorded, but re-recorded by another individual or band, usually better than the original.
i.e. Jimi Hendrix's "All along the Watchtower" is a song cover girl enjoys.

So let's rewind a bit. Cover songs. Truth is sometimes a cover song is so good or people are so not with it that they don't know the difference. But there are songs that when covered another person just owns them, such as Jimi Hendrix and Watchtower. Hell, even Dylan confesses that the song was meant for Jimi Hendrix.

Others to consider:
Spoon recovering Sam Cooke's Bring in on Home to Me
(which is a preview to tomorrow's entry. Promise.)

Pat McGee Band - Southern Cross

Radiohead - Sunday Bloody Sunday

Joe Cocker covering The Beatles - (I get by) With a Little Help from My Friends

Johnny Cash covering Personal Jesus, which is fantastic because I never have nor never will like Depeche Mode. Man I wish the band would snort it's last snort and disappear. "All I wanted, All I needed, was him in my arms. Words are very unnecessary," blah, blah, blah, hang yourselves ... or wait .... that was INXS, well follow michael hutchinson's lead would ya?

i'm sorry tiger lily. you can't help that your parents were REALLY messed up.

Jeff Buckley and Hallelujah

Note here that Me First and the Gimme Gimmes get a nod for becoming a 60s, 70s cover band that goes punk. Good stuff.

Ike and Tina Turner - Proud Mary. CCR just should relinquish the royalties, really, don't ya think?

The Replacments and Black Diamond

The Clash: I fought the Law (some don't even know that this is a cover, sad.)

But after All Along the Watchtower the top song for this cover girl is Aretha Franklin (Otis Redding) Respect. Sock it to me, Sock it to me, Sock it to me. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

This, This is my Life

2007-06-24T17:58:00.001-05:00

I'm on fire
And a wild American
I burn it out,
Prolly cause I can
And if I had a dollar for everything I should have said
I'd bust it out and prolly throw it away again

This, this is my life.
Across a northern sky.
It isn't much,
but at least it's mine.

Some get it all and don't even think to know to ask why.
I watched you pass away,
You didn't even say good-bye.
Now I'm replaying and relying on all the reasons why.
And hold onto these tears I'll never cry.

For this, this is my life.
Under a midnight sky.
It isn't much,
but at least it's mine.

Got a job, ended up in downtown.
Thought about some loved ones
and how easily I lost 'em.
I'd do it all again,
even as exhausted.
Some get breaks,
I've yet to get one.

I thought of you on nights I drank too much
If you thought of me, you never bothered to get in touch
Got lost in my mind,
and almost lost it.
Did you ever think you'd be unhappy to?
I thought if I'm not happy, maybe it's me and not you.

This, this my life.
Under a northern sky.
It isn't much,
but at least it's mine.

This, this is my life.
Under a summer sky.
It isn't much,
but at least it's mine.

I got another job
Doing thing I didn't know
Nights I'd go home and cry about it constantly
Everything slippin' away from me
Ending it all, talked about it openly
Wondering what was wrong with me.

Maybe I quit or got fired,
I don't know?
It just happened, this I know.
Added up my experiences and fears,
Took a plunge,
and here I go.

This, this is my life.
Under an evening sky.
It isn't much,
but at least it's mine.

I nearly lost a boy and friends,
Small-talk conversations, I couldn't stand.
I'm old enough to say "I remember when"

Living and learning and learning to let go,
Of parents and bosses and people who don't want me to grow.
Criticisms,
I can stomache them.
I know you think you can tell me what to do.
But no one can stop me from what I write and who I write it to.

For this, this is my life.
Under a starry sky.
It isn't much,
but at least it's mine.

So far I think I've made a blueprint.
In 26 years maybe I'll have made an imprint.
But I'll continue to grow wiser because of it.
They're all steps and journeys I've had to take.
I've got no regrets and try not to repeat mistakes.
It's all a journey and not an end.
If I had to do it all, I'd do it all over again.

For this, this is my life.
Under a summer sky.
It isn't much,
but at least it's mine.
All mine.

Gone Fishin'

2007-06-24T15:17:00.000-05:00

While I wipe away the sleepies from my eyes, as promised the final for the Bert game. He did drop two "you are here/there by circled." for the displaced Minnesota fans. That puts the tally at:
2-0-1.5-0-2

I don't know if I'll be at the bar to cover the Bert game for Mondays game, but will plan to try and keep the Bert game going every Sunday when I can watch hit from the friendly confines of SW MPLS. Til tomorrow, kiddies. So long from us here at WFTC 29.

Santana, Bert and the Big Hurt (if only Frank could play 3rd)

2007-06-24T12:33:00.000-05:00

as a sit on sunday, boycotting PRIDE and relaxing in the friendly confines of my recliner i'm going to write and watch the rubber match of the twins v. marlins. but there is going to be a game involved, because outside of the workplace and relationships, i enjoy games. it's the bottom of the 2nd and i'm going to keep a running tab of how many times bert blyleven uses the following phrases:

“major league level”
“dropped the head of the bat,”
“pitchers are the best athletes on the field"
“only {x} days until my birthday”
“you are there by circled”

12:36 pm -- one for #3 as santana gets a RBI and a stand-up triple.

i'm going to take a wager that #1 will be the most used phrase. granted i've missed the first inning and a half, but i'm coming in close to the beginnin as julie andrews would say "a very good place to start."

should johan be an all-star this season is the question? determining by wins, no. but by all other pitching stats, yes. will the twins have any players voted in, no. why? small-ball and small market. is morneau the most under-the-radar- M-V-P? yes. will he repeat? no. will johan or mauer repeat? no. hopefully they will get to the playoffs and win a series. damn AL Central is just going to beat up on itself. i'm waiting for the indians to start to choke, hasn't happened,yet. but just watch ... and wait.

yes the twins could use a new power RH bat and 3rd baseman. the big hurt, much like jim thome rocks the cashbox @ dumpy dome. and the big hurt kills twins pitching. last year's postseason series, i think he was batting close to .500

Error. Error. on L-rod. WTF? And Kim just stopped on the base path. Huh? I thought there was a suicide squeeze on. Who's the baby for the Marlins on 3rd?

12:43 -- brett carroll prompts bert to drop a "major-league level" phrase. chalk one up for #1

wicked change-up. thank you, johan.

1:07 -- discussing kim and is awful post-season as a diamondback. but that he now as 46 wins at the "major league level." that's 2 for #1

1:05 -- rick rodin, great athlete. this is a 1/2 point. since rodin was a pitcher and part of the phrase was used. yea, i'm callin' my own shots in my game here.

score so far. 2-0-1.5-0-0. it's only mid 4th still.

payback error and punto gets hit in the back by boone's throw. and santata is 2-for-2. wow.

i'm getting sleepy. will resume the game from piece of paper and post later.

What's your PPM?

2007-06-23T09:56:00.000-05:00

Let's get it started by saying PPM = Personal Pissy Meter. Depending on mood, co-workers, occurrences in life, your PPM will vary. Some days its low and nothing can piss you off and some days its quite high and well, those days, they are poop stain days.

PPMs can happen whenever, for whatever reason. Driving. Riding the bus. A comment. The way the sun is glaring at you. I like to think that maybe as I'm growing older my PPM is decreasing. But such days aren't the case. For example.

I walked into my old place of employment. My former quad is now replaced with the Blonde Squad. It was nauseating just to overhear it. Not one ounce of wit or cleverness. Which makes me glad that I bailed. But really the overheard conversation is so blah that it's not worth repeating. Then I realized the boring factor was tapping into my PPM. Had to leave the 3rd floor and walk on down to 2nd floor.

And second floor I was greeted by former co-worker who is known for having a high PPM. She's fantastic. She doesn't say much, but once she lets you in ...friend for life. And the comments towards the organization and just her insights, hilarious. And it's not that I need to hear just negative things about the former employer. That's not true at all. But when you as a 100+ person organization are collectively moving the dial forward and then you get stuck treading in mediocrity, what's up with that? Sure others come, others are replaced. But how can you keep making progress or moving forward, when there is a constant revolving door?

It was also hilarious and good for my PPM to be lowered listening to people that don't think they are treading, that they in fact are making progress to in his own words, "change the world."

Really? How can only an organization with a small county radius -- all things considered when changing the world -- be an effective leader of change in the world. Ok buddy, you keep drinking the kool-aid and I'll see you in 20 years when we all meet back at the middle. Because that's what happens. Or at leas that is what my intuition tells me. You start off in a blob, just like seven-year-olds playing soccer. Like an amoeba. Then you reach 18 and start to take off in different tangents and directions. And then about the time you're say, 50, your life experiences put you back in the middle. Your ideologies might be different but your experiences are similar. Kids finishing school, parents heading to nursing homes, getting AARP magazines in the mail, etc. etc.

But until then, I am going to refrain from the Kool-Aid and work on making my PPM low, or at least lower. Girl's gotta start somewhere.

Thursdays Thoughts

2007-06-21T10:30:00.000-05:00

Nothing happening but usual in these parts, which is a longer way of saying nothing is new. This morning I have been listening to CDs that I haven't listened to in awhile. Plenty of old school rap, which is interesting. Some Jayhawks, Jodeci and Norah Jones. As you can see I was in the J-section of the collection.

I suppose I prolly should be getting more nervous about still working from home three months later, but I'm not. Maybe I'm to laissez fare about it, but it's the French in me.

Any thoughts on Sammy Sosa hitting #600? Some. I find it funny that is was against the Cubs, a team he loved and was beloved by. And considering he hit 545 with the organization. But yet how is Sammy Sosa in the same club as Ruth, Mays and Aaron. I know why he's in the same club as Bonds -- roids use -- but the other three. Him and Bonds don't deserve to be with those class acts. Although The Babe is borderline class act, he is still a legend in baseball and will always be.

I've found this new site http://fannation.com/ to be entertaining. There is a portion that allows for sports debates and for others to pick sides of the debate. I haven't thought of a topic worthy enough, but when I do it will be posted. I'm just waiting for the perfect, um, better timing.

My guilty please "Age of Love" I watched in on the computer yesterday. Ha! Oh it's so bad, that it's good. And one of the kittens and I nearly share an exact birthday, just one day off. So I might root for her for the kitten portion, but I'm mostly in it for the Cougs. How will they ever be able to repeat the show now that people know the premise? Second question, how many of the Cougs have had some sort of plastic surgery? For sure Jennifer and Angie. And get this, apparently on WE, which I am without, they had a show dedicated to Cougars. Oh that's great. Props to SL for first introducing me to the phrase and the concept. I like to think I'm a cougar in training.

Hoping the Twins can keep their momentum going in F-L-A. Who knows though?

Also hoping that two-way D from Cretin D-Hall will drop all the way to #19 for the Wild. Though it doesn't look like it. But a girl can hope, eh?

A friend told me he ghosted in a shopping cart over the weekend. This is a near 30 year old. WTF? It made me LOL, but how can you ghost in a shopping cart? Stand up in it and stick a leg out the side? Or an arm? But that's no fun. I can understand the ghosting in a car, but a shopping cart?? I suppose when you have your reunion of sorts and it's in a farm town, what else can one do?

Learned two friends and I share a C-Connection. We are all bitter in our own ways. And are all resolving it in our own ways. But it doesn't make it easier or hurt less. But it's comforting to know they also have C-stories. In the sake of anonymity the C-ness will not be revealed.

What's on tap for the rest of the day? Research for an interview, Read and Relax. It's a rough life, I know.

Life is Good. Now if I Could Only Get Paid.

2007-06-20T16:45:00.000-05:00

so i applied for a position with a city, which i will not reveal. got the whole official reject letter in the spring. no contact with anyone. then today at 4:00 p.m. a call from the HR lady. huh?

there are perks to the position since it is a government job. i think i would roll around in the health care benefit book for days. jk. but starting off salary, for someone with just a BA, and full of BS with four years experience, are you kidding me?

i have yet to live when i wasn't living paycheck-to-paycheck. it's a sad existence? but it builds bones of character and substance, or substance abuse. ha! truth be told, i figure these years of post-college suffering will eventually pay off. i just wish that eventually would occur sometime in july. because the checking account is dwindling. prostitution is just a shot away, or in my neighborhood, just a ring around the corner.

Blyleven's Mouth Leaves Him Shorn (I approve)

2007-06-20T08:59:00.000-05:00

I don't have cable. which i am ok with. but when it comes twinkie time, i'm at the bar on more of a regular basis watching the Twins. So last night I was perplexed when they kept showing pictures of bald men or those with shaved heads. Since there is no volume at the Bulldog, I had no idea of the bet Bert made with Johan about the complete game/shaved head thing. Boy was I happy (all smiles) to turn on the radio and have John Gordon inform me of such news. Then I thought to myself what other things could be done to Bert when he crosses the line.

For example -- everytime he says the phrase "major league level" more than three times in a game, there should be some sort of punishment.

The list could go on for punishment phrases. I wish the organization would just shit can his ass, but I don't see that happening before his birthday. Only 300 more days until that. He was a decent pitcher, not worthy of HOF, and he's an awful color man for TV. And his voice and himself stinks for radio. I rest my case. Other fans can disagree. Sometimes I miss Batgirl.

I digress.

So the other thing (BC I open you are appreciating the capitalization of things so far :) I woke up this morning to The Current. The only good thing on the radio these days. And the morning crew were discussing "The Long and Winding Road" and how Paul knew The Beatles were going to break up. Which immediately popped into my head -- bands I wish I could have seen at some point in my life. I rattled off 15 or so, the list to come. Again in no order, but I'm not an orderly kind of girl. I am what I am, it is what it is, so SHOVE IT....man, I'm sassy this morning.

The Beatles circa post 1967. When they start to get weird, but before the inevitable break-up and the John and Yoko years. She's on my list of folks like Bert. Boo-urns.

Guns N Roses: In context. About 1987, when Appetite for Destruction is on the rise, much like the band, but Axl doesn't know it yet, so he still shows up for shows but without the ego

The Clash:
This would have to be in the U.K. and during The Clash record. It's the punk in me? What can I say?

Beastie Boys/Rage Against the Machine: When the toured together in the round. Before Rage broke up and then got back together. It's after Sabatoge and pre-Tibetian Beasties. The energy would be insane. If you could bottle their "round energy" and hold onto it, i'm guess there is enough life to give you an extra few years in the world.

Hole/Nirvana: I'm not sure if they ever toured together, but that's what I would want to see. Hole opening for Nirvana and then encoures by each band to feature members of the other band. Live Through This - is still on my TOP 20 for all-time fave albums. But that's a list for another day.

Anything at the CBGB from 1978-1981:
Blondie. The Ramones. Sex Pistols. Snorting coke on toilet seats and getting laid over bathroom sinks, what's not to love? I have been to the CBGB before it was destroyed. For me, it didn't live up to the hype. It's a shithole, but not a cool one. I was disappointed. Still am.

Traveling Wilburys:
How do these guys sneak in there? It's a fair question. I like most of them as single artists --- Orbison, George, Tom Petty, Dylan,etc. Plus I feel it would be one of those shows were you are watching them jam for a few hours and get the pleasure of being able to hear their inside jokes.

There are a lot of underground bands that I would have liked to have seen or see. But that's for another day. Cheers people!

TOP TEN a decade ago to today

2007-06-19T09:35:00.000-05:00

i want for all eternity to put on the record i am not a pack rat. i can't stand shit. there are few things i save. photos, music (tapes, cds, records, sheet music) and journals. so upon my amazement i found one from 1997. i was dating a tool, to no surprise, but yet kind of cool. here were my top ten fave songs in '97 and my best of today.

THEN: (in no particular order)
Me and My Bobby McGee: Janis Joplin
Loved her as a teen. Did several HS papers on her. Good shit

Misty Mountain Hop: Led Zepplin
I never got into Zep until college and I detested them in HS with all kids were Zoso shirts and such. But I had a fascination with Misty Mountain Hop. Maybe it's the whole "don't care, don't really care which way the winds blow" vibe.

All Apologies: Nirvana
Of course it is one of the best things to come out of MTV Unplugged. Enough said.

The Dance: Garth Brooks
Sentimental reasons. What was I thinking? But I suppose there are worse songs

Levon: Elton John
Oh the night notes. And the disappointment when I shelled out some good cash to see Elton only to find out he can't hit the high notes and sings it an octave lower. Let's just say it ruins the song. Freakin' Elton John.

Walk this Way: Run DMC and Aerosmith
I thought this was so cool, even release in the late 80s amongst the hair metal bands and teeny bopper mallrats. Unfortunately this tune created the likes of Fred Durst and Linkin Park, but still great collaboration.

Porch: Pearl Jam
On one of the better albums of the last twenty years, Porch will always remain my fave PJ song.

My Way: Frank Sinatra
Reminds me of grandparents. Although none of them are East Coasters or Italian they sure loved good old blue eyes

Hey Jude: The Beatles
It's the ending. "Na-Na-na-na-NA-NA" and the repeat of the ending

Try a Little Tenderness: Otis Redding
Secret confession here. This song is in Pretty in Pink, a movie along with Dirty Dancing, I've watched too many times to count, especially from the ages of 7 - 14. So when I stumbled upon an Otis Redding tape in 4th grade it never got taped over. You know the drink, but scotch tape over the wholes on a tape and PRESTO! new tape to record Rick Dees and the Weekly Top 40. I lament that I ever listened to Rick Dees. But what's a child to do in northern MN?

So now to the present
Fake Plastic Trees: Radiohead
It might be one of the few songs I can listen to on repeat for more than an hour. It's that good.

In My Life: The Beatles
Stuck between Norwegian Wood and Love Me Do, is this gem. Lyrically relevant 50 years ago and 550 years from now.

Me and My Bobby McGee: Janis Joplin
Remains for personal reasons.

Hallelujah: Jeff Buckley
His version is substancially better than Leonard's. It's eerie good. Goose bumps just now.

Like a Rolling Stone: Bob Dylan
Where to begin? The Minnesota legend is incredible. This and Tangled Up in Blue are my faves

Southern Cross: Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
I don't know if Neil is a part of this one or not, but I don't care. Another song I could listen to on repeat for hours on end. I think I relate to the "woman-girl" sentiments and I think if most women look into themselves they can find their inner "woman-girl."

Pictures of You/Just Like Heaven: The Cure
Yes I know they are two different songs. But I couldn't decide. Pictures of You loses some points for being in HP ads, but they were kinda cool ads. And "Just Like Heaven" with the beginning the most will start singing to a tad early, the "show me, show me, show me, show me how you do that trick?" makes me want to get up and start moderatley skanking. ska dancing that is. sidenote: how many people have ripped off robert smith of the cure? ridiculous.

Gimme Shelter: Rolling Stone
I moderatley like the group. But they have some great blues rock songs and this one tops my list. The background chick singing is awesome. Astonishing and awesome. Good combo.

Porch: Pearl Jam
The second repeat from ten years ago. It begs the question: "what the fuck is this world?"

(Sittin on the) Dock of the Bay: Otis Redding
Now I still am a huge fan of my previous Otis selection. But having grown up on or around lakes, this is the song I think of on the summer when it's dusking and my feet are swishing in the water off of a dock -- any dock -- calhoun, medicine lake, superior, detroit lakes.

So that's in my top ten of ten years ago and today. I'm going to wager that in ten years from now some will remain and some will change. At the present I'm loving this song called "Inches and Falling." It's catchy and upbeat and could make in on my list in ten years. Like my list matters, but all things are relative, relatively speaking :)

Kittens vs. Cougars. MEOW!

2007-06-18T14:33:00.000-05:00

so i've summoned the strengths to write. hallelujah. although due to meeting up with friends i am going to miss the opener of "Age of Love."

yes some will never watch it. find it disturbing, tasteless, a waste of time. i however am in none of those categories. let the record state i have been a fan of Mark Philippoussis since the Aussie first came onto the scene. after patrick rafter he's my next fave Aussie tennis player. eat that, lleyton hewitt, who should never have ended things with kim cjlisters. but again that is just my editorial opinion.

why i think this show has potential to be brilliant. three words:

Kittens versus Cougars

that's right. 40-year olds duking in out with 20-year olds. being a female in my 20s, i relate more to the cougars. because at the later stages of 20 realm i'm confident in who i am, what i want and don't feel the need to impress or put up with shit. usually they show 20-year-old women has complete morons with fake skin, fake boobs and fake intellect. i'm sorry i don't look like leather yet, my boobs are real and the itellect is well in tact. so i can't wait to catch the repeat. and i'm hoping feverishly that there is going to be tennis commentary throughout the show. such as the following scenario:

he's on a date with a woman, puts his arm around her (a winner down the baseline) she says he's great (a lob that is returned when he says) "no i think you are the cat's meow." (another cross-court winner.) if the producers haven't thought of the commentary, they should steal it. the show premiers tonight at 8:00 pm on NBC at love-love.

It's just another lazy Monday

2007-06-18T11:28:00.000-05:00

i'm still reeling from the runner-up-ness. ok so i'm not. but it's back to searching and waiting to hear back from the u. and patience, while sung wonderfully by axel rose an g'n'r, is something i don't have. "so i was walking the streets at night, just trying to get it right. it's hard to see, with so many around. you know i don't like being stuck in the crowd. but the streets don't change, just maybe the names. i ain't got time for the game, cause i need you, yeah, yeah, yea i need you ..."

it makes me smile that i can just rattle off g'n'r lyrics like that. instead i will presume to go back to my elliott smith ways and "everything means nothing to me." truth be told, i'm feeling lazy and don't really have much to say. so i'm going to enjoy a perk of working from home and make today a movie day. almost famous, slap shot, high fidelity and maybe if i have time i will re-watch the last king of scotland before i have to send it back to netflicks. so in tribue to my laziness and the fact that i am a writer i'll give you parting words from scott adams and dilbert. i miss having co-workers so the dilberts could be more pertinent. i'm a mean human being.

Dilbert Creator Scott Adams on Writing

I went from being a bad writer to a good writer after taking a one-day course in “business writing.” I couldn’t believe how simple it was. I’ll tell you the main tricks here so you don’t have to waste a day in class.

Business writing is about clarity and persuasion. The main technique is keeping things simple. Simple writing is persuasive. A good argument in five sentences will sway more people than a brilliant argument in a hundred sentences. Don’t fight it.

Simple means getting rid of extra words. Don’t write, “He was very happy” when you can write “He was happy.” You think the word “very” adds something. It doesn’t. Prune your sentences.

Humor writing is a lot like business writing. It needs to be simple. The main difference is in the choice of words. For humor, don’t say “drink” when you can say “swill.”

Your first sentence needs to grab the reader. Go back and read my first sentence to this post. I rewrote it a dozen times. It makes you curious. That’s the key.

Write short sentences. Avoid putting multiple thoughts in one sentence. Readers aren’t as smart as you’d think. ( editor comment: i totally agree with that statement.)

Learn how brains organize ideas. Readers comprehend “the boy hit the ball” quicker than “the ball was hit by the boy.” Both sentences mean the same, but it’s easier to imagine the object (the boy) before the action (the hitting). All brains work that way. (Notice I didn’t say, “That is the way all brains work”?)

That’s it. You just learned 80% of the rules of good writing. You’re welcome.

Always a Bridesmaid, Always the Runner-Up

2007-06-17T12:24:00.000-05:00

well if we were playing a game-show and the question was how many times can a person be a runner-up candidate consecutively before getting a job? i'm for certain i would be a TOP FIVE response. just got the nod from the small, podcasting group that i was the runner-up. words quoted: "you're a good writer and have the background that most PR firms desire."

those are "nice" (blah to that word) words but does that land me with a job with healthcare? no. am i still working from home? yes. the only thing i got going from me is this position with the U. fingers crossed, i'm almost considering rosary beads. yes, my agnositc self is considering such a passe move. but i also consider wreaskin havon in the world on a daily basis and yet i don't.

so what's the score now for jobs and me? runner-up 7, jobs landed 2. lame, lame, lame. almost like the twins losing a series to the brewers. oh wait.

damn the runner-up-ness.

I Just Called, To Say, I Think You're Not My Father

2007-06-16T08:45:00.000-05:00

so i ripped off a stevie wonder song with the title. but at least it's a sappy-crappy wonder song. gosh his music is awful in the 80s. but maybe it's the M.O. of the 80s all things must be awful, except the babies being born. since i am a baby of the 80s.

my birth and tomorrow inevitably make me think of my sperm donor father. yes my parents were briefly married but for most of my life i saw David, sperm donor, once a year on X-Mas. that's reasonable if he's working for National Geographic in Africa or his a doctor or lives on either U.S. coast. but no, he lived approximately six miles away from me growing up.

his father, my grandfather was more like a dad to me. he passed away five years ago. it's been five years since i spoke/saw david. and there have been points were i felt maybe i could send him a write-off letter. but i opted against it. because the weird/sad/strange think is i don't know him to have any sort of feelings towards him. it's all plain flavor, except there really isn't any flavor. i know he comes from this big irish-catholic family. i know he likes louie lamoure books and than he's pretty laid back and unmotivated. but i had a dream that i called him on father's day. so maybe i will tomorrow. to use the stevie line again, "i just called, to say, i don't know you." who are you? but that's the thing, i don't think i want to know him. i just don't care for any sort of relationships in my life to be ambiguous. so i'm going to suck it up and call him tomorrow and wish him happy david's day. because biological he might be my father, but he is not my dad, nor will he ever be.

Ladies and Gentleman Put Your Hands Together for the Undees

2007-06-15T07:18:00.000-05:00

i was journaling the other day, that's write i journal and am proud about it, been doing it since i was six. but as i was saying i was journaling and for some reason i thought of movie/books/music this is grossly underrated and doesn't get the credit it deserves. kinda like mike redmond.

then in my sick little mind i thought if they have the oscars for best film, razzies for worst film. emmies, tonies, grammies and AMA's and even moonmen from MTV then i am a going to create an awards show for Undees --- the most underappreciated films of the year. it would later expand to books, essays, music and television, although no broadway, because the stuff off of broadway is where it's at.

so in no particular order i present the debut of the Undees.

broadcast news: maybe it's my sick fancination since i work around news cycles. but so darn funny, regardless

rushmore: second in line after bottle rocket, rushmore still remains my favorite over the tenebaums and life aquatic. her we see the wilson boys and wes anderson on the start of something good. would also go on to inspire the anderson/wilson dynasty and arrested development, which the cancellation still brings a tear to my eye

in america: a beautiful film about a family moving to america in the 80s. if you have not seen it, rent it, rent it now. seriously. plus the little girls in the film are adorable and sisters in real-life.

why we fight: i enjoy documentaries and this one is pertinent and much under the radar compared to al gore's global warming, morgan spurlock's supersize me or any michael moore film. very interesting and very deserving

before sunrise/before sunset: essentially they are two films. but i consider them one. in case you have never heard about them or if you have skip the next few sentences. before sunrise was created in mid 90s about two recent college grads from different parts of the world who meet on a train and spend the day together. it is the ultimate ambiguous ending. but the plan was to film the next movie ten years later in real time and see what happened. before sunset is ethan hawke at his most vulnerable and brilliant acting since his white fang days. he was just off uma-divorced-me-since-i-slept-with-a-canadian-stripper-and-won't-take-me-back-but-i-want-her-back stage. and his character is real, vulnerable, mad, sad, etc. and whoever i loaned those DVDs to has yet to return them. damn my mind for forgetting, but not forgetting how good they are.

slap shot: it does not get the credit it deserves for being a top three sports flick. i believe hoosiers, over-rated. brian's song, over-rated. field of dreams, over-rated. but slapshot with it's vulgarity, crudeness and ode to the hanson brothers, the hockey hansons not the "hhhmmm....bop" singing ones, is a great tour-de-force of 70s hockey teams.

so those are my deserving undees!

Here Comes the Sun, Sudden Panic Attack

2007-06-14T10:32:00.000-05:00

interview at 2:30. meeting with former supervisor in about an hour to walk thru stuff. have a good vibe going, but i'm scared while i am driving i will realize the magnitude of this second chance and have a massive panic attack, swerve out of control somewhere East on I-94 and end up being flow to the U of M hospital.

ok. i don't really think that. except i do wonder how to balance personal me and professional me? they are similar entities, but given the work that i do, you have to be a bit of a freak and have to let your hair down in a reasonable and silly manner. it's the silliness that gets me. or instant comfort levels. that what i don't like about interviews. essentially they are dates. to see if both sides will be happy in the employment relationship.

in dating sphere i was the queen of four dates. cause it is about the four date mark where you become either exclusive or end it. sadly, professional me is also good with the 4th round or 4th date of an interview. yet always the damn runner-up. well hopefully not this time. i want the crowd, the date, the job, damnit. and i don't care who knows.

where has my self-respect gone?

What's the Cost of a Second Chance?

2007-06-14T08:27:00.000-05:00

So seriously, I don't have the answer to this question. But what is the price of a second chance? I know they are rare, hard to come by and if you don't pursue them you spend a part of your mind wondering "what if?" So what is the value of a second chance. It's something I don't think I want to figure out, because the return on the investment is too sweet.

Second chances, whether a job, a love that got away, a relationship or an opportunity are rebounds. But the good kind of rebounds. The second chance rebounds, not like being a rebound date or you are mending and on the rebound. You can either make the most of the second chance and put it in the basket or you can miss it. Chances are you are going to have a better opportunity than the first second chance, because since chances are rare -- third and fourth chances -- are even more hard to come by and rarely exist. Unless of course you are Joe Liberman.

So what to do with my second chance at the U? They have expediated the process because they are definitely interested in hiring me for a variety of positions and I think they are trying to determine where I could be best used -- for the organization and for my own goals. While I am loving the second chance, I'm getting nervous for this interview. I really thought I had it 18 months ago. And professionally speaking I know I can be a polarizing personality -- either you like me or find me intimidating. Why is confidence intimidating? It truly is. If you are a bold person who is also opinionated and likes to take risks -- watch out! Women in positions of power will either embrace this or be threatened by it. It's very dumb. And it's only with women with other women. We are our own worst enemies -- we frickin' sabatoge shit. And when that day comes when I'm in power of position I vow to never do this.

How do I capitalize and make the most of this second chance? I have some leverage. I seem to be in demand these days as a finalist, but how to clear the hurdle and get exactly what I want? Jesus, that sounds like a Cosmo coverline.

Is this second chance going to be a second chance and redemption and possibly free grad school? Or a second chance at heart-ache? I guess I gotta take the chance, and my chances.