It's Cold and Lonely as the only "Marketeer"

I work in marketing. I am the marketing department. A department of one. And on most days I enjoy all aspects of the gig. I am a born multi-tasker and thrive on being able to turn my brain on a dime. From creative big ideas to the hard work it takes to implement them. I HEART being able to do both. Because I knew early on that a routine job where I did the same thing everyday, well, while stability is nice, that kind of routine would kill my spirit.

But I gotta admit it's kinda lonely being the only marketing person in the organization. Because with marketing everyone thinks they know how to do it. They think it's a simple as taste and if something "looks good." Silly bastards.

I'm just wishing I more folks who had big picture AND the ability to make it happen. Unfortunately those at the top get caught up in the details of things. Friggin' frusterating.

I realize I am getting lame and venting. But sometimes one juts need to get it out in order to get through the day.

TGI FRIGGIN FRIDAY.

Is that cold November Rain or cold November Trade?

I admit the Santana Sweepstakes has me a bit curious. Isn't it the joy/anguish of every sports fan to play the role of GM and what would I do scenarios? It's part of the Madden game syndrome and the Internet that makes us everyday fans toil with the idea of being GM. And it's usually those of us who played sports, enjoyed the competition but realized at an early age that we were never going to make "A Field of Dreams" so we school ourselves on thinking we are smart business people and hence we gab endlessly about managerial decisions, GM trades or lack thereof, and the business components to sports. As much as we like to think they are games we love -- it truth American Sports are businesses with a bottom lines, stakeholders and profits to make.

So with the best pitcher in baseball what do the Twins do? It's much more fun to speculate than to actually have to live with it. So good luck boys.

An overdue catch up (with myself)

I've carried a journal around with my since I was a kid. I loved to write. Even if it didn't make any sense, have a plot or was grammatically inaccurate. I liked it. Always have, always will. For me, writing is a time to tap into my imagination or to articulate through pen the everyday occurrences that mean something for a moment and then disappear. I am that person who has journals full of "quotes to note" as I call them. I also have 100s of pages worth of story telling in bits -- meaning -- it's harder to remember what I was actually writing about. But eventually I get the gist. Trust me, when I die it will be a lot of paper to be recycled and if anyone is remotely interested, it will be sort of like a game or a treasure hunt to make sense of my rambles. Like now? I'm a rambler. If I could only grasp onto my thoughts long enough to make an tangible sense of them ....but it's a struggle I've had since childhood.

Actually it just feels nice to time and pretend like I am working on the 2008 planning and budget like I should be. But that's not doing "it" for me. I think the generation I am apart of, we need to tap into our creativity outlets -- whatever those are. Whether it's a nap, a blog, a walk, we will and cannot function as the workers who simply produce. It -- and by it I mean work -- has to be bigger than simply a paycheck. It has to mean something.

How you know your iPod loves you

have you ever noticed the love an iPod will give you? sure, they can be frustrating at times. when they freeze or suck up battery like a motha. but i tell you if you take the time to notice, your iPod loves you. call me crazy. but at least here the theory.

it happens when you hit "shuffle songs" and usually more times than not, it's like your iPod knows the mood you are in. and so the selection of back-to-back random songs seems like a great, random playlist.

i know there are other factors. the sentiments that come with certain songs. what they remind you of, snapshots of your life or the meaning the song has to you. but i know this isn't a scientific experiment and it's not something that can be quantified and sold to the masses, but i really your iPod can be in tune with you.

and i wasn't even trying to be end on a pun.

Favre's a Baby

Favre just got a baby tap to his head. But because he is Brett Favre, the game is in GBay and every announcer seems to have a man-crush on him it was a call against the Vikes.

Whatever.

I'm not a homer Viking fan. If the T-wolves weren't so damn pathetic the Vikes would be in last place for my local loving. I know this town is a football town first, particularly a Viking town, but let's keep it real, MinnE is a bunch of fairweather-bandwagon fans. And there are a minority of us that are diehards.

Which is why I thank Mankato for this weekend. Just what the Lucia boys needed this weekend. And 9 goals scored this weekend. Hopefully that continues on.

The shutout continues at Lambeau, good Lord. Pathetic. Nice kick ass offense, Coach. Could are defense be on the field any longer this game?

Back to puck. Gophers finally get a sweep, instead of being swept. Next up Anchorage at Alaska. Hopefully they can get on a roll, like last season. Though I doubt the role will be as nice, but Minnesota is always better than the mid-pack of WCHA so here's hoping.

The Wild tonight after a week off. AWOL Walz. Do I return the other half's #37 jersey?

The baby wolves still 0-4. But so are the Heat, Wizards and another team, all of which had loftier expectations than the baby wolves. Plus it's NBA, who cares all that much?

Tubby's team off to a win. Togetherness and defense, I like it. As much as I love hockey and hockey venues in this state, the Barn is the best place to be when it's rocking. I'll stand by that. I love the X and I really love Mariucci, but something about the raised floor and the barn shape.

#89 Ferguson makes the longest play of the day at 35 yards ...

The really highlight of the weekend. Watching My So-Called Life on DVD set. Here's the Wild winning, (Burnsie staying out of the box.)

Purple Jesus is down! Purple Jesus is down!
God damn Pack.

Those Darn Work Personality Tests

I'll admit I am an extrovert. Big, giant, E for this working Mpls woman. And while it's very all fine and good these workplace test that want to put you into categories in boxes, my dolphin is outraged and it's in full effect. Watch out world, particularly South where I am writing this afternoon.

Have you taken the "what time of animal are you in the workplace test?" Well if not, here's your chance. Oddly enough I am either a Dolphin or a Horse. And I feel like both at this very moment. a Horphin, perhaps?

I'm just rambling for the sake of rambling and because I am annoyed. Wishing there was more of an interesting twist on that statement, but it's November pre-Thanksgiving, where it gets cold and work piles up and we are often left in Minnesota thinking, why do you we like it here? But than T-Day happens and we become Thankful for all our Minnesota goodness, stoicism, sarcasm and passive aggressive tendencies. There's a reason why we humbly think we are better than the other 50 states. It's or MinnE spirit.

Queen of Slack

This could be a bit of a rant. But WTH? I feel like the queen of slack lately, who is co-habitating, (not a word I realize, but you get the drift) in a den of slack. And it's not because I am slacking at work. In fact it's the opposite, I feel like I am slacking in the other aspects of my life, particularly this site, as well as the other enjoyable writing projects I have.

Balance. It's always been my issue - the work life/personal life balance. Because, as confident as the sounds, most of the coworkers I've had and currently have, like me. Granted I can be a bit obnoxious, over-the-top and annoying, but I'm usually enjoyed in a group of people because of being able to relate well to others.

And this morning while taking the train to work I was conversing in ASL with man who is deaf. He was telling me about how he was raising money for himself and nine other people so they can go to Little Rock and rebuild a deaf community center. Granted we were conversing in ASL, which I'm still a little rusty at, since I haven't had to use it since college, but that feeling of connecting with someone out of a honest, pure connection to help, I miss that.

Being a PR person and working in marketing, I struggle with the paradox of shaping info for the best possible good. And it's a day-to-day decision and something that can be tiring. But talking with that man today, there weren't any strings attached. He was simply sharing a story, I was listening and trying to help. And that spirit of that conversation, those are the things us individuals have to tap into. It's easy to place a "think globally, live locally" bumpersticker on a car and think you are making a difference.

But it's the little things. Like smiling to a stranger. Listening to someone. I know we have become desensitized to homeless people begging on the street, and murders of kids in North Mpls, but can't we all pick up the slack in our small ways? Instead of simply slacking, placing blame or ignoring situations.

Hold On Today for Hold Steady Tonight

I scream! Whoever said something along the lines of "making a living is not to be confused with making a life," well that statement has been rininging true a lot lately. Sure work has been 60+ hours the last month or so. And soon it's on the "agenda" for me to lead a meeting about our internal communication process. Quite frankly, I am going to bring in a third-party source to contact this. It's the stategist in me. But even though there has been lots of pressure, stress and unreasonable deadlines. And even though I still have five boxes placed in my living room still waiting to be put away. And today is the beginning of NaNoWriMo, something I've wanted to participate in the last two years but haven't had the time. Today will be a great day.

Today will be great even though I will be missing a Wild game that I could watch from the friendly confines of my own sofa. I will also be missing Grey's Anatomy (which BTW at the cliff hanger of last year, there were three climbers brought in and another who was supposedly "dead". What happened to this story line? It has yet to be discussed. Writers of the show, please explain? And don't give us viewers the excuse of the turmoil following Dr. Burke's exit from the show.) Back to the rant, I'll be missing Grey's, which is ok. Plus mid season three and most of season four as been a let down. All of the crap of compiled daily living adds up to being at tonight's HOLD STEADY show, 10 rows back and being there for FREE!

It's days like the last several weeks that make me appreciate the band, not just Finn, more. Label it what you'd like, but I'm a sucker for Hold Steady. And the fact I get to see them tonight on the wake of six-weeks of intense stress, will be nothing short of FANTASTIC! Even if they don't play certain faves of mine, and even if I get the obnoxious 6'5 bald man in front of me who won't put his arms down the entire show, that will not bother me. It's about the music.

And because I am me, and have a pop culture reference for nearly anything, I will be singing to myself the obnoxious Wilson Philips song "hold on for one more day" as the countdown to Hold Steady takes place.

12 hours and counting .......

Great inventions

I know I take the world I live in for granted. I think most of us do. I have been involved in making a new Web site for work. I am not a programmer. I am not a designer. I am a marketer and a PR bitch, that is how I self-identify.

But this morning I found myself thinking about inventions that I take for granted everyday. Sure Edison gets credited for the light bulb. And Al Gore thinks he created the Internet, but what are inventions that people can't live without?

I'm a fan of ATM machines and subways or other underground traffic ....

List your in all varieties.

The Agony of Being a Sporting Fan (reality vs. fantasty)

It's October. Which gets labeled "Roctober" seemingly by everyone in marketing these days, however October is the best month for sports. However I have been finding myself conflicted.

Let's start with baseball. In March 07, I predicted the Indians to be in the World Series. And as they took a 3-1 lead, I didn't want the Indians to win Game 5. Heck I didn't even want them to win Game 6. However as Game 7 I was totally torn. To go with my early prediction pick, or to be a second-tier Red Sox fan. I say second-tier because I always root for MinnE teams FIRST AND FOREMOST then Boston teams. Although with all MinnE players heading to Boston, it's messing with my reasoning. I don't know if I should be mad at Boston or except the fact that they can pay MinnE players big bucks. Sidenote: I'm totally rooting for Jacoby Ellsbury so that the Red Sox choose to not make an offer for Torii. But that's besides the point.

Let's just say Game 7, I found myself swept up in the virtual components of Red Sox nation. Because I believe in momentum and I think Red Sox vs. Rockies will be more entertaining than Indians vs. Rockies.

I digress. And stop the tangent. Here's the point. Between all fantasty sports these days and reality sports, I find my allegiances are a bit confused. Take Game 7 of ALCS. If I threw this bet down in Vegas -- Indians to reach World Series in March -- I sure as heck would be rooting for the Indians to not choke. Money would be invovled. But since it's just bragging rights, and at least I picked a team potentially correctly to get to the World Series, I'm already looking good over most of my male friends. But then, there is the second-tier Boston fan thing that makes me want to root for all thing Boston, when appropriate.

I know this isn't just me. Fantasty football has done that to thousands of folks. And your team can even conflict itself. Say you had Packer D and LT and their previous match up this season, people found themselves rooting for AND against themselves. Packers D should stop everything, except don't strip the ball from LT and let him at least rack up 100 yards.

So in all of this reality sports and fantasty sports, while I argue they make us (the mildly-obsessed fan) engaged more -- they also make us more competative, and occassionally more competative with ourselves or our allegiances.

Growing up, my family thought I was going to try and be a sports writer. Sure enough, I went to journalism school, but the thought of being a sports writer was something I never took seriously. Because it was too much of my passion and I didn't want the "business" aspect of things to ruin my love of sports. And in a little twist of coincidence, I find myself on the marketing/community relations aspect of things working with the business people of the local Twin Cities sports teams to create "partnerships."

And you know what, I wouldn't trade any of it. Because being a sports writer might have been the death of me at 32 from stress and quite frankly I want more out of the life than the next five years. I want a championship to come to MinnE and not be stripped down or a scandal. So I'm wagering the best bet will be .......
The Wild.
(now that is a REALITY not a FANTASTY prediction.)

A Weekend in the Sporting Life

"I woke up/Got out of bed/Dragged a comb across my head/Found a way ...."

Love that song. Great Beatles song. Prolly in my Top Five. The ALCS is about to start. Damn, I can't stand Buck and McCarver. So freakin' annoying. I can't decide who I would want to kill first --- John Madden or McCaver. Hell, at this point it could be Joe Buck. And to think like 8 years ago I thought Joe Buck had the chance to be a cool announcer like his father.

Wow, was I wrong. Complete and utter douche bag.

And it was a rough sporting weekend if you're a MinnE sports fan. First the Bison game. Although, really is anyone paying attention to Gopher Football? Just like no one is paying attention to Gopher Hoops or T-wolves.

Second, Golden Lads on Ice are SWEPT by CC. Swept. That hurts. Granted, I , a homer for Gopher Hockey, realize it's a rebuilding year, but the Gophs are usually good at coughing up a Friday night game and playing hard and winning on Saturday, avoiding the sweep. Oh well. Luckily it's only October and I still have tons of faith in Lucia, and even though I can't stand the comparison of Gopher Hockey to being the Yankees of College Hockey, I'm sound that Maturi will have to have a DARN good reason to get rid of Lucia. And I don't see Lucia walking away from this dream gig, EVER. Unless his daughter Ally, who someone how got a gig on FSN is involved in a sex scandal or an Anne Hutchinson in the locker room.

The Viking. Well, as long as Chilly is around, I have a hard time getting excited for Vikings games. But they were playing Dallas and it was good to see The Barbarian.

Kevin Millar gets to throw the ceremonial pitch for The Red Sox. He just oopsed Ellsbury. Hey Cowboy Up man, it's JacobY not Jacob. But whatever. Did I miss something, wasn't Millar playing for the Orioles this year? And he just threw out the ceremonial first pitch for Red Sox.....right?

The Wild. Thank God for The Wild. Otherwise it could be a more than depressing year for sports fans in MinnE ......although perspective check at least I'm not an Oakland fan or a Royals fan.........

And I'm leading this week in RandBall. I'm sure I just jinxed myself by typing that, but if the Red Sox could be the curse in 04, then I'll take my chances.

Stress and Venting

A whole plethora of work because other people's lack of planning is apparently an "emergency."
Maybe writing over the weekend that isn't snatchy. Cheers to go ALCS game Six.
Speechless and Over-Worked in MPLS

Why Baseball is Best for Playoff Following

*Disclaimer. The article discusses only the top for American sports. As always, Minnesota high school hockey is the best damn tournament, ever.*


Call it what you want. Baseball playoff are, well, spectacular compared to the other playoffs. Don't get me wrong 162 games is a long season. And when you're not in contention it's not a fun October. But there are cities like Kansas City, Tampa Bay that will spend decades of losing season, so not being in the post season for one year isn't so bad.

At the beginning of every major four season friends and I make picks. This has been a tradition for several years. I can proudly say that this year I like most people in the world, did not have the Rockies going to the World Series. But I did have the Indians. Which went against every bone in my being, because after being a MinnE fan I love my Boston sports. It's the Irish in me.

So for the haters here are my football and NHL final picks and who I will pick for NBA.

New England vs. Carolina
San Jose vs. Ottawa
Spurs vs. Boston

Back to baseball. Sure the royally messed it up with the strike. And Bud Selig is a douchebag, but the wildcard and having to have all 25 members on your team step up on different nights if fantastic to watch. I'm a sports lover at heart so as long as the games are interesting I'm sold. But to potentially have Rockies vs. Indians, granted it won't get much hype, but I'm guessing it could be better than any other major four championship.

Growing Pains of Growing Up

I'm 26. I make no claims that I am an adult. In fact, I sort of detest the fact that technically, under legal status, I am an "adult." I prefer my rip-off line of the CSNY song Southern Cross "looking for that woman-girl." Because somewhere between child and old soul is yours truly.

But here is where growing up takes some growing pains. I'm five years post college. I know who my friends are and who I will maintain to be friends with. Yes, we all had those friends that got engaged their senior year or knocked their girlfriends (usually the highly disliked girls at that) up. Forced into marriage, decided it was a good idea or realized the lack of self-esteem and didn't want to be spinsters or old balls with no action the rest of their lives.

Then there are the singletons. These people flaunt it in the face that they have no one to report to, can sleep with whomever whenever, etc. etc. The singletons fall into two categories. Those who are fronting and desperately want a relationship. And those who don't want to be in a committed anything for awhile, if ever.

I'm not in any of these groups. I'm in the dating someone for a third of my life category. So when the BFF informs me that she is engaged over email, it seems a bit odd. It's better to know than to not know, but an email announcement over a major life event ....? Chalk it up to growing pains of growing up I guess.

The Work Hangover

It's Saturday morning and I've been up since my usual pre-6:00 a.m. And before I jump in the shower and go to work for a few meer hours, I want to discuss the work hangover.

I'm allowing myself to get too consumed with work. Freakin' consumption issues. But here's the thing. This new job that I've had since August, I am slowly realizing that I came at the busiest marketing time. So on the plus side, next year I'll be able to plan things out, but as for now .....the work hangover.

When it comes to drinking, I've never been one to have a hangover. At least not frequently. Instead I was the girl who could pace herself properly, except on the few occassions in which I would make myself throw up during the evening in order to not have a hangover. Classy and sexy, I know.

So here is how the work hangover is worse than that. I know my own work ethic and shit just has to get done. Fine. I get in early and try to make the most of the 7 - 6pm today, knowing full well that I have an amazing life outside of work. Obviously I'm not doing the best with time management because two weeks after the move, all of my plastic containers and tupperware are still in boxes stacked in a pile in my living room. But damn work hangover, when I'm home I'm too damn tired to do anything. I can barely keep my eyes open for Wild hockey games. And last night I feel asleep at 8:15. The last time I feel asleep at 8:15 when I wasn't sick -- third grade.

God damn work hangover. So tired when I come home from work and all my joints are achy, I feel like I am living the life of what I will be living 50 years from now. And this work hangover has been acruing for a few weeks. Jesus Christ on a Cross, I'm done with the crazy hours. I just gotta muster up the endurance for one more week.

And save some I.V. fluid bags for the recovery.

These are a few of my fave things this week

Work has been a bitch. As a PR Bitch, I can usually take it. But since last post until now, it's been utter insanity. But that's no excuse.

Also I've always been a fan of autumn. It is far superior over the other seasons. Activities to do, the smells, the food, the sporting events, the colors, the light, everything is better in autumn, particularly in October. Maybe it's because the World Series used to begin in October, because most leaves throughout MinnE are at their peak, Oktoberfest, whatever the reason October has always been a great month in my world and I'm not even a Libra.

Then this week 10/7 - 10/14, has to be one of the best "activity" weeks in the Twin Cities in a good, long while. First of all it begins with the ending of Design Camp up in Nisswa. The day to hang out on Gull Lake with your own cabin, can't be put into words. Followed by an evening with Pat McGee Band - a great bar band, with a great, loyal following that has remained great even after multiple member changes, etc. Tues and Wed, Malcolm Gladwell in town. He is my "intellect sexy man" and just the fact that he was in town discussing MinnE and our increase for incarceration and other social change stuff, I'll go there, it gives me a tingle. Brent Burns is a scoring machine. Loving it and loving the Wild's dominance over Ed-suck-ton. Tonight Stephen Kellogg and the SK6ers at Varsity. Sunday, the Wild take on the Ducks and I hope Boogey-Man does his thing.

The fact that I am attending most of these and working 65 hours during the same time period, is a test to my insomnia. So after the best week in a great long while, I might have to take a mandatory three-day coma just to catch up on rest. Of course this is contradictory to my "you can sleep when you die" mantra, but let's face it, I'm in mid-20s status and not getting any younger and lack of sleep messes with my immune system and my fabulous wrinkle-free, blemish-free skin.

The Eve of NHL Hockey in MinnE

Happens tomorrow. I'm torn. Second episode of Grey's Anatomy and the first Wild hockey game of the year. Good God. I'm a girl who loves hockey. There will be flipping between the two, but still .....why make a girl choose between the early of both seasons -- Wild and Grey's?

Although the other half piped up this morning -- did the Wild make the playoffs last year? And he was serious. Stone cold serious. That I had to swallow pride and say, "really? You can't remember watching the stalemate series against the Ducks? And that your younger brother took his then girlfriend to the playoff game and right smack behind them were Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau. Really, you don't remember Wild in the playoffs?"

Seriously it was JV version of what was really going through my mind. Lots of [redacted] nouns and verbs and well it was 7:45 a.m. this morning. Poor lad.

But then I began to become quit a tart and asking him who won the world championships of the four-US-considered-major-sports:

Me: World Series?
Other Half: (94 second delay) St. Louis
Me: Superbowl?
Other Half: (Looking for stuff in fridge, 20 seconds later) Colts
Me: Stanley Cup?
Other Half: (Immediately) Sabres.
Me: WTF? Seriously. They didn't even play for the Cup
Other Half: yea, but they were playing well. Are you sure?
Me: We need to stop co-habitating. Flower chamber closed for a lifetime (Not to be confused with the God awful Firehouse "Finally Found a Love of a Lifetime")
Other half: But the Pistons won the NBA
Me: Now you're just messing with me. Ohmigod, you're not. Take the lunch I packed you and have a good day. (I'm left shaking my head)

But secretly, while I was disappointed in the other half, I'm giving him a mulligan. He is not a morning person. And he didn't have coffee. He usually needs a pot to get started in the world. And it did feel good to have sports supremacy over him. Granted he can kick my butt in thumb wrestling, drinking beer and if I ever did play, he would crush me in fantasy football. But remembering facts, figures and all other useless info, I'm still Master of our Household. And it's good to start a Wednesday being Master and Commander of your own domain.

But that doesn't make easier to decide between Grey's Anatomy tomorrow and Wild vs. Blackhawks?

The Sporting Life in MinnE

We has sports fans have been spoiled in Minnesota the last five to seven years. Playoff bound, small ball Twins teams, KG, Wild making a trip to the Finals, back-to-back National Gopher Hockey teams, even the upsets against #2 Penn State and Final Four Women's Hoops teams.

And now it's 2007.

No playoff bound Twins. An inept Vikings offense, rebuilding T-wolves, rebuilding Golden Gopher Hockey, but then there is the Wild. And I'm clinging to the notion, that my Mrs. Robinson crush on Burnzie for the last few years was worth the investment. I'm expecting some ROI on this harboring crush ...... Not really, but I have to have some sporting optimist. And I think it could be the year for the Wild. Something has got to make a MinnE loving sports girl cling onto hope. Now I know what it's like to be a Kansas City sports fan or a Raiders fan. Really, Oakland is prolly a better example. The A's are similar to the Twins in size, payroll and how their GM manages, the Golden State Warriors terrible forever, the Raiders underachieving and run by an owner who doesn't know what he's doing anymore and then they have the Sharks.

This all just occurred to me on a Monday morning. My sports loving life is similar to that of an Oakland fan. That's just f*cking depressing.

Tell me again why I don't like Mondays. Thank You Boomtown Rats. And the "it's so bad it's funny" unintentional tactic in this video, is fantastic. (I wonder if 25 years from now, people will say that about my work? oh geez, the legacy factor ....it's not like I'm Sandra Day O'Connor, but there are moments where you question your legacy, particularly with work or your family.)

I digress. And I'm tangled up in my own tangents .........and relishing in "I don't like Monday's 80s bliss."

Why Music Will Always Be Adored

Music. As most teens you become obsessed with music. What else is there to love, besides sports, movies, underage drinking and music? Exactly.

Then you become college-aged are able to go to nearly every show you want to, become segmented music lovers. You hone your tastes in a certain direction (indies, locals, jam-bands) what have you.

So it is with great delight I bring you the CD memory of today. It never occurred to me that music helps restore your memory. I can hear New Kids on The Block song and instantly I can remember things about 3rd grade that I haven't thought about in 18 years. Or like today, since I've moved, everything is in a box. So in my true WTF fashion, I grab an unmarked, unlabeled CD.

Stereophonics and Minnesota bands. Instantly I think of my former roommate and how obsessed we were with the UK band, because her friends from Wales turned us onto Stereophonics. Followed by Iffy, Faux Jean, 12 Rods, Soul Asylum. It is an overall fantastic CD and I can tell that I made it, gave it to someone, who either didn't take it from me, left it at my house, or I took it back because it was that good of a mixed CD. (I am notorious for doing that, eventually replacing, but yeah, call it an "unfavorable characteristic.") And then because I am a dork, or because I am who I am, I email this friend saying "stereophonics ...do you remember?" of which she will prolly email me back in a few days, because she is uber-busy. But yeah .....

A happy day music day in Speechless land ....

Greetings from my cubicle space

I'm swamped. And it does feel like I am wearing duct tape on the bottom of my shoes and walking around work, I feel like I am sinking. Of course not in the quicksand way, but in the sense that as soon as I complete one project, I can seventeen more dumped on me. And it should be like this until the end of the year.

Sweet Jesus Christ on the Cross.

But outside of that, all is well in Speechless in Mpls land. I wish I had more to let people know about. But I'm blinded by the light, that shining, glaring, light or blight is work. And while I am happy with my projects and the success of stuff, it has clogged up my ability to notice the finer details that happen in my everyday life. I'm not as "in tune" with the world, which is also why my RBall picks have been mediocre at best the last two weeks. No time. Hardly any time to read Sports Guy. Listen to NPR or The Current. or search the web for other things I enjoy. Seriously, I haven't checked my personal email accounts in a week. And to top it all off, I'm on call for the Red Cross the remainder of the week ........

So enough from my office space. I do in fact have an office, not a cubicle, but I realized this post and given my working condition, I could not muster the strength to reference lines from The Office. Which BTW has anyone else been closed to The War like I have been? Already my fave show of the season. Damn good documentary, and there have only been two episodes.

100 Posts on the Day I'm Moving

so i am an infrequent writer. and i've decided to keep speechless "directionless". i think i'm succeeding in those two goals.

i am moving. i can't stand it. it has to be one of those things that aren't so bad, but you make them worse because you are a lazy person and you can't stand all the crap that has to go into moving. because if i am going to do something, i usually don't half-ass it. (this blog being the exception.)

during my break and while listening to my new fave song "1234" it occurred to me i should jump online. bill simmons. randball. quick stroll thru city pages and then to here. sad, i haven't even checked my email. but then again, wwwhhaaatever.

100 Posts on the day I'm moving. It sums up my life. Something I enjoy, writing with something I dislike, moving. I suppose if keeps my life balance in check. Have you ever paid attention to the life balance? Call me a kook, fine, but seriously when someone you know dies within a month someone you know will become pregnant, have a baby or consider adopting something. It doens't fail. That whole Lion King Circle of Life thing, it's in effect.

In effect. Makes me think of Wrecks 'N' Effect (sp check that group name,
I'm too tired to Google) ......"all I want to do is a zoom, zoom, zoom and a boom, boom ...just shake your rump."

A many a 6th grade Spring Breaks watching MTV Spring Break while there are in Florida and being too young to get all the "getting laid" references, but thinking I was a girl in a shallow pool just dancing away in the daylight.

Really, not much as changed. Except I've been without cable the last five years or so, and instead I youtube bands and dance around to videos on the internet.

So 100 posts isn't anything to brag about. Anybody can write anything these days. But I did begin Speechless in Minneapolis in May on the recommendation of my former baby boomer coworker, who is a lover of all things BLOG. so here i write in my Minnesota pants (grey with Minnesota and a Gopher on the butt) and my fave "I heart NY it's the Yankees I hate" t-shirt.

Typing only because I am a procrastinator and don't want to move. Even 100 posts or 100 years from now I will still be that procrastinator girl who loves to shoot the shit and wishes that we could wear sleep pants and hoodies to work. Someday. A girl can always dream and hope.

My Crush on Brent Burns

This will be a very girly-girly entry. You've been warned.

To those few reading, I want to begin with I love hockey. Always have, always will. It is hands down my favorite sport. And I will always argue that a hockey game is the best to go to over the other sports. Not as exciting to watch from the friendly confines of one's couch, but in person along the glass at the rink, there is no better place to be if you are a sports fan. And in order my favorite types of hockey.
3. NHL
2. WCHA
1. Minnesota high school hockey

Now.

I have had a crush on Brent Burns since The Wild drafted the then 18 year-old in 2003. I don't know if it's the long hair or the nonstop permasmile. I just thought he was cute, in the sense of "which actress would you rather have Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?". So I'm not a stalker or a hockey groupie or a crazy fan. I just like to joke around that I am "MrsBurns". So I was giddy on Sunday when I grab the Strib and there is a feature on Burnzie.

Fantastic!

Now I always have been under the impression that the kid enjoys hockey, but is well-versed in other aspects of life. Don't like the goofy grin fool you. The kid is sharp. Maybe I identify with him in some ways, because in professional setting I send to be the one with the quick comments, and I've learned that upper management types with put me in a box with these comments and forgot about the other things I bring to the table. But that is besides the point. I walk a very fine Johnny Cash line between professional me and personal me. Trust me, there ain't too much difference. You get what you see with me and I wouldn't have it any other way, although I would try to cut back on the tangents, like this one that I am currently on.

So I identify with what perception I have of Burnzie and as a female I think he is cute. So to learn all the other personal things about him in the Strib feature, icing on the cake. It's like saying you will know who the SuperBowl winner will be in five years and then being correct. (True story: I predicted the Steelers SuperBowl victory a season before. Crazy, huh? If only I was a gambling kinda girl)

And I like that he has a girlfriend. I'm happily with someone, Burns should be too. And then the huskies. Melt my heart. We had one in college and now she is no longer with us. Still alive, just not with us who helped raise her.

So where does that leave me? Feeling totally satisfied in my crush. If he lives up to the potential, I will feel like Terry Ryan when he is scouting 15 year old Venezuelan kids. Seriously, there could be tingles. But until then, I'll keep my MrsBurns jersey on for Wild games, continue to brag about my crush Mrs. Robinson style and cheer like crazy when he drops the gloves.

Hey it's all part of the package when you grew up on the Iron Range.

Well, Well, Well, You Never Can Tell

........
what a week with bring?

personally, my life is going great. good job. good relationships. good health. all around good times.

when it comes to my interests of sports, music, books and news cycles, this was quite the week.

so i can't comment on the details. i've been too busy. with my own job, attending AFSCME things, moving, events, volunteering and having somewhat of "personal time" i've been engulfed and have had blinders on my peripheral vision to notice, as i call them, the strange things that happen to me.

stupid CJ taking shots at jason derusha and ben tracy. both people i have worked with professionally. i wonder if we could have a pay-to-stone CJ contest? seriously, she is terrible. only in america could someone be a gossip columnist for a living. whatta swarmy job. but i suppose it's nothing different than church gossip.

which is why i am agnostic.

it was good to go to an AFSCME fundraiser last night. growing up in a union household i had to go, to represent the people who helped and stood in solidarity when my parents were on strike. union-busting is all the rage in corporate america, what is sad is that usually the working people are just trying to stay level to support their families. far too long, america has stood on the backs of the people who make this country what it is. and corporate america will continue to do so as along as people don't think for themselves and don't fight. i am fortunate that i am in a job where i can take care of myself and factors in a cost of living. but too many of are brothers and sisters don't.

the goal is to shrink the gap between rich and poor instead of widing it.

best thing of this morning (outside of the fact i think i could continue to be 11-5 in RBall) is Brent Burns on the front page of Strib. yes i admit i have a crush on Burnszie, however i think he is a goofball, and i like that he has a lot of interest and his passion, and the long hair and permasmile help, but i also respect that he has a girlfriend. so i'm not one of those crasy hockey groupie girls, just a girl who'd want to go on a double date with Burns and his lady.

am i fucked up or progressive or neither? i'm guessing it's the latter.

Remembering and Moving Forward: The American Way

It's been a weird week in the world of Ms. Minneapolis. Attending a burial at Fort Snelling, giving up foster dog for permanent home, personal things, work, family, ya know the rest of the stuff that everyday Americans face.

Sometimes I think we forget about the beauty of day-to-day living. I know, it's sounds lame, but there is something about Minneapolis spirit and Minnesota pride and something about being an American. Maybe because 97% immigrated to the states. Well I don't know the exact numbers, but I know that Native Americans are not in the majority. Maybe you know your roots and can trace back where you came from, or maybe you don't care. There is a theory that must "supernations" can only exist for 200 years before things start to fall apart. In a turn of coincidence, the US it approximately 231 years old officially. Are we slipping?

That's for you people out there in the world. And maybe I'm for once too much of an optimist, or maybe it's my US pride that I think we will always be a supernation because of the spirit of our citizens, even the illegal ones. Because most of us can trace our roots back to coming here from somewhere --- name the country and the reason -- whether opportunity, religious persecution, adventure, taking chances. We as citizens of this country are from brave people, whatever that nationality. People who took a chance, who decided they wanted a better life for their kids and future grandkids and they worked hard, they suffered and they settled. That is way I am a fan of www.weareellisisland.org

And just thinking about things over the weekend, I know I am not in PBS market research or even on their radar for trying to reach me as a consumer. But I can't wait for Ken Burns' The War to begin on Sunday, September 23rd. Visit http://www.pbs.org/thewar/video_clips.htm
to see for yourself. I'm guessing someone in your family played in a role in World War II, whether he/she actually served or stepped up back home to replace the hundreds of thousands of soldiers who were displaced across the world.

And away from the serious topics, I'm kicking off the NFL season 10 - 4, but three of my combined losses were by 7 points!?!? The agony. But it's just a sport and it's nothing extraordinary -- like the ordinary people who do extraordinary things every day. They are ones we usually don't highlight.

An Overdue Post

The fact that I haven't made a comment on the world who prolly lead to the question:
are you okay?

But then I realize that only a few (five)people sworn to secracy and potential cut throat tactics implemented by yours truly actually know the person behind the fascade, so it really doesn't matter that I haven't posted this week.

It's just a busy week, even too busy for me, to notice the little things that I usually do in the world. After attending a burial at Fort Snelling on Friday, on a gorgeous day, which made me think the twisted humor that goes on in this world, but then I realized it is the twisted humor I apprecaite. It's like whatever is bigger than us humans, has a way of keeping things in balance. In August I had the fortunate of three great things happening to me and now in September three not so great things.

Keeps me in check and I like that, but it doesn't make it any easier when you come to terms with things you regret (aka the worst day of my life), a burial of a 22-year-old-fallen-soldier and giving up a foster puppy.

So this week, and especially yesterday Ms. Minneapolis was in a state of mourning. And going through the way I grief, we all handle grief in our own ways. The one thing that has been a ray of hope (that could be a bit much and way too cliche, even for me) is RandBall, the starting of NFL and other blogs I read.

So thank you anonymous world, for helping me through the week. It's like the normalcy I was lacking this week. And don't get me started on trying to cross the 10th street bridge .....

Review - The Format

Station 4. The Format. Losing my virignity to both, because the closest The Format has ever been is Chicago. So I was excited. Even didn't make a trip to the lake over the three day weekend to check out the show. And, well if the name isn't a give away, I don't go to St. Paul for shows. Unless it's something that is a must see. And well for shows, outside of Faux Jean at the Turf Club, usually every show I want to see is happening in MPLS.

So the review. Let it be noted it was an all ages show. And these little 18 year old concert goers have no respect towards the other people in the crowd. Rude, little sh%ts. And they started moshing. At a Format show. WTF? And hello, this isn't 1994 and nobody is wearing flannel, nor is this a Hardcore show.

The later children of the 80s are ruining 80s babies for those of us born in 80-81.

I digress.

The Format, fantastic. Tons of energy. Good song selections. Played all things I wanted to hear, except cover songs. But that's ok. I would travel to see them. Which isn't saying too much, given there are 4 bands I already travel to see. If you must know (DMB, Radiohead, PMB, SK6ERS) so The Format would round out my Top Five.

They are fantastic live. Sam and Nate are the focal point, but everyone else does a nice job of shining in their moments and being good team players.

What slightly bothered me where all the friggin 18-20 year old frat boys pushing and shoving and being stupid. I told two of them off. What else was not cool? Alcohol free room, because of an all age show and hotter than the rainforest. I'm not kidding. It was Brazil degrees at Station 4. So when they return I hope it's 21+ and somewhere like Varsity Theatre or hell even Fine Line. 400 Bar or Cedar Culture Center would be fantastic, but that's too much hoping.

So The Format, get to know their poppy goodness and tell-it-like-it-is lyrics. It's worth it.

Moving, The Format and a Potential Mother-in-Law

How is your Labor Day weekend going?

The title sums up mine. Something I loathe (moving), something I haven't seen in person and am excited to see (The Format) and family, even if it's not technically mine. Seems like a good Labor Day weekend to me. The only downside is no time at the lake, but considering I spent two solid weeks there this year, I'm ok with that.

Talking with the potential mother-in-law, I'm very aware that I know who I am and am comfortable in my own skin. That's a good thing to have and good to know when you are out shopping and know what you like and what you don't.

But enough of that. Reusse called in best when he wrote in today's STrib that "Brewster should shut up and coach." We friggin lost to Bowling Green. But hey, at least we aren't Michigan dropping a nonconference game at home to App State. Wow. That's all I gotta say. Those three seniors that decided to stay, couldn't be the biggest choke artists since the 86 Red Soxs.

The Twins. A season of frusteration, is wrapping up to an end. It's not fun to be watching a wild card race. I guess we've gotten spoiled by Gardy's Group since he took over. But I'm hoping they are gearing up for 2008, because the White Sox are as well and it looks like the AL Central will beat up on itself. But hey, I'll always root for the Yanks to not be in postseason baseball.

Like one of my fave shirts reads: I heart New York, it's the Yankees I hate

And that doesn't change.

High school football and Big 10 season that is not the Gophs, will be exciting to watch. But football is just a tune up for the greatest game on earth .....nonprofessional hockey. That's right, high school, WCHA, getting tingles just thinking about it.

So as the summer winds down, I've enjoyed the summer of 07. Sure it might not be as catchy as the summer of 69, but I'm gearing up for the state of hockey 2007-2008.

My Letter to the Commander

Another Minnesota young man died in Iraq this week. I don't know him. I never met him. Until yesterday I didn't know of him. What I do know is this. He was 22. He grew up in Northwest Minnesota. His father passed away when he was a kid. I know people who unofficial became male father like figures in his life. I know he had hopes, had dream and had potential like the thousands of other men and women who serve our country, and the thousands of civilians who live in places the US invades.

And this morning I want to know how we bring our sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, those friends, those parents, those loved ones home.

It's apparent as people of this country we were trusting, misguided and mislead. And now, now I want to know what the plan is and how are we going to execute that plan in a timely fashion? How do we balance peace, and oil, and two vastly different cultures while minimizing the loss of life? This isn't some Skull&Bones game at Yale, Mr. President. You are fucking with our future. Our tax payers, home owners, teachers, mechanics and leaders of tomorrow.

Sitting in Mpls, looking at the skyline I love dearly, I ask you Mr. President Bush, what are you going to do to get our everyday leaders, those moms and dads and sisters and brothers, sons and daughters, what are you going to do to get them out of the hellish Iraq you created?

You've got until January 1, 2009 to redeem yourselves to those you serve and to those families who will never see their loved ones again. Time's ticking. And it's not a terrorist bomb, what you hear ticking is the little conscious you might still cling to since your began your illustrious position of power as one of the worst Presidents of the US. I'm glad we were smart enough to limit our Commander-In-Cheif to two terms. Sometimes the checks and balance system is ahead of its time.

Owen Wilson

I don't know if the Owen Wilson incident has shaken me up. Or even made me sad. I guess if anything I can relate. It was about two years ago to the date that I started losing it. It's easy to remember because August 26 was Hurricane Katrina (it hit FLA on 25th and was getting read to dump near the Gulf of Mexico), and when you are a person who is depressed but doesn't think you are depressed, your mind becomes your enemy. And it plays tricks on you, like how could I be suffering when I levee broke and millions of people are heading out with only the stuff on their backs?

At 24 I had a break down. I always knew through family genes that I was susceptible to mental health issues. Bi-polar, manic, depression, alcoholism, all part of the Iron Range family tree. But when you are an outgoing person who can role with the punches all of your life, you think "hey, maybe I'm the lucky one. Maybe it missed me, or I won't be affected." Regrettably, those thoughts did creep into my mind. If I made it to adulthood, through all forms of school and everyone else had been diagnosed at an early age, then I must not have it. I can't have it. I've made it this far, there is nothing traumatic in my life to cause depression, I should know the signs, the rest of my family has suffered.

You get the drift.

I won't compare myself to Owen. I don't think we really have anything in common. Never meeting the man, I'm not sure what his issues where that brought him to the hospital. But I can tell you there are prolly similarities that exist between Owen, me and the millions of other people that suffer from a mental illness, whether temporary or life-long. We think we have it together. We have had successes and failures and have coped. And then it's like a switch one morning -- your brain starts questions things -- things you had always taken for granted. And it snowballs and it consumes you, even though you think you are smart enough and are not being consumed.

I was lucky. And so is Owen Wilson. We both have families that intervened. I ended up on the 7th Floor at Southdale, adamant that "I am not a crazy person." And there are two things that make mental health really troublesome.
1. You can't see.
It's not like a broken bone or a bruise. To everyone it is invisible, unless they are smart enough to see some of the signs. But for the most part you can hide it, and you can hide it well and easily.
2. When you are admitted to a "psych floor" because of how mental health is categorized and if you are uninsured they put everyone together. I was/am considered temporarily depressed. My roommate at Southdale was a life-long schitzo who heard voices and would scream and had to have her wrists tied down in the middle of the night.

But because of mental health we were all herded together like the abandoned cattle that aren't good enough to be t-bones, but could make an ok leather belt or baseball glove eventually.

Our healthcare system, because of how it is set up with a profit-first then help people, won't give people with mental illness the attention and help they need, especially if they are uninsured, unless something irrational happens or a person attempts suicide.

Maybe it's because I enjoy Owen Wilson's work or maybe it's because of the timing. Sunday, would have been the beginning of 13 day stretch that I would lose control of myself, my thoughts and would end up on the 7th floor at Southdale, by actions of my own choice and concerns of my family.

People are strange. We become parts of packs and tribes that we want to be part of and ones that we aren't proud of. Owen, I and millions of others are part of a tribe, it just sad that people (those suffering, healthcare system and society) don't take notice until you try to take your life.

American Hardcore

It has been a movie binger at my house for the last four days. With fostering the dog, roommates gone and rain being on/off what better way to spend your time between Netflix and Twins games. And even the Saturday Twins game got postponed due to rain.

So what did I watch this weekend.
Weeds - Disc One, Season 2 (since I've completed Six Feet Under and Entourage this is my new favorite. It's that good.)

Rudy
Before Sunrise and Before Sunset
Fever Pitch
American Hardcore

And for those of you who aren't in the hardcore punk scene (I'm not) but appreciate local bands like Husker Du and even The Replacements (there's a guest appearance) it's worth to put in your queue.

I like history of music and pop culture. Which is why I am always a sucker for a VHI DOCUMENTARY and don't get me started on Behind the Music which I salivated for every Sunday in college. Yes college, when I had cable TV. So the history of American Hardcore was fascinating to me. I had no idea that DC was so involved. Call me naive, but I thought the scene came out of two places -- underground California (LA and San Fran) and New York. Who knew that Senators kids in DC were all the rage in the scene. I highly recommend it for those into the scene and those like me, who appreciate music and documentaries.

American Hardcore (2006)

Image 6 of 11

Still photographs of "American Hardcore"

American Hardcore (2006)

The remaining 50 things I want to do

Awhile ago I posted 50 things I wanted to do before I die. Well here's the remainder of the list. No particular order.

100. Make someone's day
99. Go sailing in New England then to B&B's
98. Tape myself doing something of interest to pass on to my future offspring
97. Teach
96. Learn to sing professionally
95. Take up piano lesson again
94. Have a better relationship with my mother
93. Not get hung up on the small things that don't really matter
92. Eat something I killed
91. Try a wild game I wonder never consider
90. Own a lake home up in Northern Minnesota
89. Love my kids unconditionally
88. Have more close knite female friends
87. Get at least two more tattoes -- possibly three -- for a total of five
86. No more piercings, except my nose
85. Pierce my nose with a cute stud
84. Live long enough to see each Major 4 sports team win a world championship
83. Never complain about "that racket I hear"
82. Believe in myself
81. Listen to my gut on a more regular basis
80. Get publicity or a story on Oprah
79. Adopt a kid from a different country or state
78. Learn to play guitar and harmonica
77. Memorize a movie
76. To always get along with my future in-laws ( so far, so good)
75. Have a pet
74. Place an article in PEOPLE magazine
73. Ghost write for ESPN
72. Make a short film
71. Write a screenplay or become a moderatley successful screenwriter
70. Learn to correctly apply make-up
69. Find out what make up colors are best suited for my skin type
68. Be more experimental
67. Let my guard down and trust more openly
66. Become someone I won't make fun in 20 years
65. Cut people more slack
64. Look into a higher power or explore religion aspects of life
63. Attend a black-tie event
62. Be strong enough to give a eulogy
61. Write a children's book or a book for my future children
60. Learn to snorkel
59. Give more white wines a chance
58. Visit Napa Valley or a vineyard in Italy
57. Sponsor a child in Africa
56. Meet The Format
55. Own a place in New York City (loft, perhaps)
54. Learn to try sticky cheeses more often
53. Always be philanthropic or give my time freely
52. Make amends with those who broke my heart
51. Go to Canada!

*The first 50*

1. Find someone to grow old with. (I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me, but as independent as I am, or think I am, I don't want to be alone all my life)

2. Skydive

3. Go to six out of seven continents. (only four more to go)

4. Go camping in the BWCA. I know. You'd think a girl from the Northland would have done something, but no.

5. Get a pilot's license

6. Hang glide.

7. Write a book

8. Get book published. C'mon people they are two separate tasks

9. Visit all of the MLB stadiums. I'm planning my someday honeymoon or some summer around this idea. I think it would be more perfect if I had a winnebago. Just the thought is like bad times on wheels. Two birds with one stone, that's what my book will be titled "The Good, The Bad and The Road to the MLB."

Wow. sometimes I amuse myself too easily.

10. Be a Roadie for a day.

11. Sit in for a song to play drums with any legitimate and relatively famous band

12. Learn another language

13. Avoid class reunions and go somewhere better that weekend

14. New Zealand, New Zealand, New Zealand!

15. White water rafting on Colorado River

16. Visit and kiss someone at Niagra Falls

17. Donate an organ to someone

18. Give enough blood over a lifetime to save a life

19. Adopt kids and maybe squirt out a few of my own

20. Tell my folks I love them on more regular basis

21. Streak when I'm in my 40s

22. Reduction of upper half. Not a lobotomy, but the other other half.

23. Learn to let go

24. Be completely vulnerable to someone

25. Hopefully never get divorced

26. Eat something that I caught myself or shot myself

27. Shoot a rifle

28. Always keep in touch my woman-girl self

29. Experiment with more recreational drugs in Amsterdam

30. Tip a cow. Kidding. Milk a goat

31. Try to climb on a horse again, after getting kicked off 20 years ago.

32. Always stand up for something

33. Always remembering my roots and where I came from, no matter where the wind blows me in this world

34. Remain open-minded to all possibilties

35. Threesome? Kidding, but maybe do something in that area that I wouldn't have considered. No specifics, though.

36. See any concert at Red Rocks

37. Finally see Radiohead in concert. Preferrably in the UK

38. Not have any cavities

39. Remain my firm butt and to not acquire mom butt -- ain't no flat thing, here.

40. Do an improv skit

41. Tap lessons

42. Learn to fox trot or waltz

43. Making a difference in someone's life, somehow for the better

44. Have a reliable job that I enjoy with benefits

45. To not have to touch my 401k until retirement

46. To reconnect with Z, wherever he is

47. To remain patriotic but questioning the government

48. Ski in Switzerland

49. Assist in Red Cross disaster relief efforts

50. Skate on XCEL ice with Brent Burns or other Wild players

*********Update 44 and 49 are off the list *************************************

I'm Starting with the Woman in the Mirror

Have you ever looked in the mirror to look at your soul? Not that your soul is a tangible thing. I guess I will define the soul I am talking about as the things that make you who you are, your beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, flaws, essence. That soul.

Sadly, some of us claim to not have a soul. I think they are missing out.

I know I am an self-reflective person. Always have been. I was that girl at slumber parties who would go off to a room by myself, sit in the dark, discovering or look to discover who I was/am. Or it could be 12 pre-teen girls all in the same room, got on my nerves, even then. But I like to think it was more the first than the latter, but prolly a combo.

At 26 I know who I am. At 16 I had a pretty strong case. I am the type of girl-woman who is who she is and makes no excuses for it. What you see is what you get. I don't pussy foot around stuff, I don't hold back and if something is on my mind or bothering me I think I tell you "what's up."

And this is an uncharacterstic trait for a Minnesota woman. Maybe it's because I grew up agnostic. Maybe it's because I have a small family. Maybe it's from iron range roots and having alcohlics and mental illness strains in my family. Who's to say? Not all of it is nature, there is nurture invovled, but I have always liked myself and now I really like who I am.

This isn't a self-rightous rant. There are a lot of other cuspX/Y people like myself who have come into their own. It's just sometimes I look in the mirror and I see the superfacial. Round face, eyes, hair, nice smile, small cheekbones, etc. But there is other times and I see these labels that society and ourselved put on each other.

26. Female. Life-long Minnesotan. Traveler. Lover. Daughter. Sister. Sarcastic. PR professional. Marketing Maven. Witty. Closed-off. Funny. Confident. Stubborn. Opinionated. Sports Fan. Music lover. Piano player. Cheese lover. Irish. Agnostic. Independent. Blunt. Easy going. Crass. Compotent. Not artistic. Friend. Foster parent.

So that's what I saw this morning. All of those things that make up who I am and there is a laundry list of others. But those things are my soul. Not the happy, good-natured, honest, bullshit that we think we want in ourselves. Those are other parts, but to me, the experiences are the things I like in other people maybe I bit more than charactersitics. Or maybe I'm just curious how other people would define me? Not because I care of their opinion, never have and never will, but when you self-reflect are you thinking of your "true self" or this other "better self?" And I guess I want to know if the "true self" is one's perception or if it's others?

This is what happens when I'm happy in all aspects of my life, I have to question shit. WTF?

State Fair = Autumn Right Around the Corner!

Yes the "great Minnesota get together" has started. Whop-A-Dee-Doo and an enthusiastic finger rotation is my response. Don't get me wrong the Fair is great for some. Food on a stick, making fun of people, really making fun of people and taking a nod of self appreciation that you aren't like some of the freaks that come out for the Fair. Seriously between mullet sightings and camel toes you can't go wrong.

But here's why I like the Fair. It means autumn (BEST SEASON EVER) is right around the corner. The light changes, the leaves, the smells, GREAT food (cider, apple crisp, the end of grilling which always tastes really good for some reason).

So without anything occurring in my life, I was already jazzed because with the beginning of Fair is the end of summer and the start of my favorite Minnesota season. And then ....it just got better.
Three of my TOP TEN current bands are coming to Minnesota this fall.

PMB at Fine Line in October, SK6ERS at Varsity and Hold Steady in November. I already got a free ticket to Hold Steady, how sweet is that? And The Format come to town next weekend. Everyone else may be stoked for "the great get together" I'm excited for the bands coming to town. Now if only the Twins could make it as a wildcard........

"Marbury defends Vick, calls dogfighting a sport"

According to what Marbury hears "dogfighting is a sports. It's just behind closed doors." Are you kidding me, Stephon?

A sport where you kill your dog if it doesn't win, is not a sport. It is cruel and unusual punishment. Even boxing doesn't train you to kill your opponent or be killed. And trying to compare dogfighting to deer hunting -- are these people eating doggie venacin? (sp check). I sure hope not. And I'm not even taking the puppy lover approach to Marbury's comments. I just think he is an idiot, but I guess I thought that a decade ago when he broke my bandwagon NBA heart and decided to play closer to home. Well guess what Stephon, your bags are ready for the Italy basketball, personally and professionally.

Maybe Marbury does have a case for athletes being built up and then being torn down. But the Vicks, yes Vicks, both Michael and Marcus are sadly full of potential that goes to waste because of bad decisions. Look no further than the recent death of Eddie Griffin as an example. So to Marbury's first quote, he's a effing idiot, by maybe, just maybe he deserves some cred for the second argument. While I'm a big sports nut, always have been and always will be, there is something to be said about when athletes make stupid choices that ruin their careers and I'm guessing prolly their passion or biggest love. But then again, what do I know, I'm just a fan.

The Frusterating Twins (and others)

So reading the morning Strib sports section. Typical beginning to my work day. And there is a quote from byline from Nick Punto: "Punto says it's time to play better." Now I'm not going to kick a man when he is town unless he deserves it, but seriously that is the byline. That's like President Bush saying, "The bridge collapse is a tragedy."

Duh, no sh%t and where to you (Bush and Punto) in their respective cases get off saying such a statement. I'll give Punto a reason he might haved been the only Twins player left after the two crushing back-to-back blows by the Mariners. But the President, I plead the Fifth.

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These shirts are fantastic and I wish I had thought of them. Moving on.
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My grandmother is 75 and grew up on the Iron Range. Yesterday she left me a message, no joke on this that said the following:

"Hi (my full name) this is your grandma. I wanted you to know that a lady in the building died today. So I took her ironing board, because I hear you only have one. Her iron which hasn't been used in six months. Some dish towels, pots and pans, and a real good one for stir fry. There are some other things, but just wanted to let you know."

Yep, that is part of my gene pool. I picture my grandma to be walking around her senior living complex like a vulture, scoping out the next prey, circling in on it and then cleaning house, wiping the deceased person out of essential housing items. Please note that I never wanted to asked for anything. In fact I told her don't buy me anything until I move in October. And to grandma's credit she hasn't bought me anything, she's just waiting for the next death in her building.

Full Geek Glory (RBFFL)

For the few who actually know my full name, consider yourselves lucky. And continue to keep it on the hush. I don't know why I am so compelled to blog in secrecy. Maybe it's the business I am in. That I am in front of a microphone a majority of the time and I don't want my personal thoughts/experiences to become part of my professional life.

Or I could really dig writing anonymously? Who's to say.

But for those of you who know me, you know I am a sports nut, opinionated and witty. Which is why the chance to be part of the Randball Fantasty Football Leauge was hard to turn down? I thought it would be a great chance to meet these folks who make me LOL on a daily basis, plus the location is the Chatterbox in St. Paul which is one of my fave spots. But alas four things occurred.
1. I have turned down every offer to play in Fantasty Football this year, so why start with a people I don't even know? That would not sit over well with my non-blogging-real-life-friends
2. I like how things are, I don't know if I want a face to these individuals, plus it is prolly a competition of extroverts and who can be the funniest and i'm guessing everyone is somewhat to ultra-competative
3. I would like to be on the sidelines and officially be a person of unbiased opinion. Kinda like a ref, but without the whole mafia thing or point shaving
4. Am I that much of a geek? Not quite. And I'm hanging onto that title for as long as possible. JK. I think RBFFL is fantastic and would be a lot of fun, I just am weighing my professional options and it's prolly not the best idea. Damn myself for being a PR bitch.

Superbad is Supergood

Get to see Superbad. That's all I'm saying. If you are between the ages of 15 - 40 it should be required. Kinda like a thumb print or your dental records. Get to know McLovin. Seriously.

I could go on and on, but you're smart people out there. Decide for yourself. Otherwise it's just another Manic Monday. (I wish I could have that song by some group "Tell me why, I don't like Mondays/Tell me why ......Cause you can see no reason/Why there are no reasons/To like Mondays.) If anyone can find me that song or name the band, there's a prize...that I'm not yet disclosing.

I'm a Foster Parent (for a week)

I have the most adorable and smart son. As a mid twenty-twenty-something-young-professional I never at this stage thought I'd be a foster parent. His name is Rhett, he's about 12-13 weeks old and he is absolutely the best thing that will happen to me for the next week or so.

I never thought I'd be able to be a foster parent, even if it's temporary. But turns out, my heart sees the bigger picture and that he will need to be adopted by someone who will love him and provide the best home for his life. I can in the short term, but not for Rhett's lifetime.

BTW I did not pick out his name, but to me he seems more like a Rufus. I dunno, something about him.
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Switching subjects I normally don't read the comments, because I try to be anonymous, mostly because of what I do for a living. So when "someone" leaves a comment that says I suck. I like it, because I think diversity in dialogue is good. But if you can't leave a name and you are just saying something without a reason to get back to you, then what is the point. You are not furthering along any sort of debate. So to you anoymous commenter, I'm sure like everyone else in the world you think you are funny and have good taste. But if you don't have any way to get back to you, grow a pair and then comment.

************

What else in Ms. Minneapolis land? The 87 Twins reunion. Yea, they are my favorite team, Twins team. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that reunion. Who knew Gene Larkin was the youngest one on the team? No clue. And that Juan B is a car salesman, doesn't surprise me, but a car salesman in Chanhassen, freakin Chanhassen, now that does.

But it is weird that Kirby didn't make it to see this weekend. Maybe he overshadowed the team. He did own the 91 series, but I do think Gaetti and the two-person pitching tandem of Bert and Frank were the heroes in that series.

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Oddly nothing strange or unusual has happened to me in the last week to spill to the masses. Watch out, that means twice the load for the upcoming week. Take care everyone and enjoy the 87 Twins!!

When you try to be good, but things go awry?

i'm not even going to try and explaing the title. i justed needed to write it. and maybe again, and again, and again.


AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

so now that that is out of my system, at least temporarily. in honor of the Twins winning a series and due to my laziness/exhaustion -- the toughest players in baseball, according to ESPN. oh BTW my new fave netflix show is Weeds. i watched the first six episodes in one night. yea, i have no life, i know. but holy sh$t is it funny, and i'm not/nor ever have been a stoner.

No pain, no game for these hard-nosed players

By Jerry Crasnick
ESPN.com
(Archive)

Updated: August 15, 2007

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Jason Hirsh didn't mean to make a statement. It just worked out that way.

After taking a J.J. Hardy line drive off the leg last week, Hirsh stayed in the game to pitch five more innings in Colorado's 11-4 victory over Milwaukee. Only later did Hirsh discover he had fractured his right fibula on the play. Baseball players aren't typically regarded as tough in the manner of NFL wide receivers going over the middle or NHL wingers digging into the corner for loose pucks. But the season is so long, so physically and mentally draining, that few regulars report for work each day feeling spry or healthy in the conventional sense. They're all soldiers in a war of attrition. Toughness is in the eye of the beholder. But we're pretty sure it's embodied by Minnesota backup catcher Mike Redmond. During a game in July, Chicago's Jim Thome took a long follow-through and caught Redmond in the head with the barrel of his bat. After several moments on the ground, Redmond staggered to his feet, blood pouring from his head, and apologized to teammate Joe Mauer on his way back to the dugout. It was the second game of a doubleheader, and Redmond felt bad about taxing Mauer's workload. "It wasn't like I was hurt that bad," Redmond told Jim Souhan of the Minneapolis Star Tribune. "Just bleeding a lot." In honor of the Jason Hirshes and Mike Redmonds of the world, we surveyed 30 players, managers, scouts, executives and media members in a quest to find players with high pain thresholds and a low tolerance for days off. These guys are quick to sacrifice their bodies for the team, and no threat to run and hide during a bench-clearing brawl. Remember "The Breakfast Club"? We'll call this week's installment of Starting 9 the Eat-Nails-for-Breakfast Club.

Martin

Russell Martin, Dodgers catcher

As one National League catcher recently observed, "Mike Lieberthal has the best job in baseball." Considering that Lieberthal makes $1.25 million and has started 11 games behind the plate as Martin's backup, it sure seems like a good gig. Martin leads all major league catchers in games played and ranks second to Cleveland's Victor Martinez in plate appearances. He blocks balls, shakes off foul tips, breaks up double plays with abandon and doesn't know the meaning of the words, "I can't go, Skip." We became acquainted with Martin's toughness last September, watching him walk into the Dodgers' clubhouse with a stiffer gait than the Tin Woodsman in the "Wizard of Oz." At this point in the season, Martin needs a daily massage just to climb the dugout stairs and make it onto the field for pregame stretching. "I'm becoming a big fan of Russell Martin," said Arizona's Tony Clark, a 13-year veteran. Honorable mention: Brad Ausmus, Gregg Zaun, Jason Kendall and Michael Barrett were among the other catchers who received mentions, but no one embodies hard-core toughness more than Boston's Jason Varitek. "If I had to pick the guys in the game I respect most, he'd rank in the top three," said Phillies outfielder Aaron Rowand.

Helton

Todd Helton, Rockies first baseman

Helton isn't the same dominant offensive player who received a $141 million contract from Colorado in 2001 and looked like a Hall of Fame lock at age 30. But he never makes excuses, and he leaves nothing in the tank. Helton has endured back pain and calf problems, and missed two weeks last season with acute ileitis, a painful inflammation of the small intestine. Despite losing 10 pounds, Helton came off the disabled list as scheduled and started 64 straight games before Colorado manager Clint Hurdle was able to chain him to the bench. It's the same brand of fortitude Helton displayed as a University of Tennessee quarterback while facing the onslaught of SEC linebackers. If he's ambulatory, he's out there. Honorable mention: Albert Pujols, Kevin Youkilis and Travis Hafner make the grade. Hafner, who stands 6-foot-3 and 240 pounds and loves professional wrestling, is a man you want standing beside you when the beanballs fly.

Biggio

Craig Biggio, Astros second baseman

It's a certainty Biggio will be wearing an Astros cap on his Hall of Fame plaque. The portrayal would be even more genuine if it showed him beneath a gunk-encrusted helmet with sweat and eye black all over his face. Biggio has played 1,961 games at second base, 427 at catcher and almost 400 in the outfield. He's that rare player who knows how it feels to get spiked at the bag, block a slider in the dirt and go shoulder-first into the wall in pursuit of a fly ball. That's a masochist's hat trick. Biggio has also been hit by a pitch 285 times, second-most in history behind Hughie Jennings, and has 414 stolen bases worth of jammed fingers. Considering the abuse he's taken, it's amazing that he's been on the disabled list only once, with torn knee ligaments in 2000. Honorable mention: Lots of people remember Jeff Kent breaking his wrist while popping wheelies on his motorcycle in San Francisco. Giants fans recall when Kent, weak with the flu, took intravenous feedings before playing both ends of a day-night doubleheader against Colorado in 2000. He's one ornery gamer.

Tejada

Miguel Tejada, Orioles shortstop

Tejada isn't such a great investment these days, with his $12 million annual salary, .430 slugging percentage and diminished range in the field. The fewer home runs he hits, the tougher it is for speculation about those vitamin B-12 shots to fade away. But Tejada's stamina is indisputable. He appeared in 1,152 straight games, the fifth-longest streak in history, before breaking his wrist in June. That's an awful lot of punishment with no breathers. "A few years ago, we were playing Baltimore, and Miggy went back on a ball and did something to his ankle," Rowand said. "He went down like somebody shot him, and they had to carry him off the field. He was right back out there playing the next day." Honorable mention: Jimmy Rollins, Omar Vizquel and David Eckstein pass the pound-for-pound toughness test, and Derek Jeter's foray into the stands on a Trot Nixon foul pop in July 2004 remains one of his signature moments. "Derek Jeter diving in the stands headfirst and coming out looking like George Chuvalo is my all-time great effort," said Brewers general manager Doug Melvin. "That was just instinctive toughness."

Wigginton

Ty Wigginton, Astros third baseman

If Eric Byrnes is known as the Crash Test Dummy, then Wigginton should forever be regarded as the Human Four-Car Pileup. "This guy will run into, over or through anybody or anything," said Washington Nationals reliever Ray King. Just ask catcher Koyie Hill, who suffered a broken ankle while being steamrolled by Wigginton, or Yadier Molina, whose cage was similarly rattled. Wigginton isn't the most skilled or graceful athlete. But he's a grunting, snorting, collision-inducing machine. Honorable mention: Boston's Mike Lowell came back from testicular cancer. Joe Crede played through some excruciating back pain in Chicago. David Wright did his own Jeter-like leap into the stands. And while Alex Rodriguez is rarely hailed for his toughness, he comes to play. Since 2001, A-Rod has missed 18 of 1,091 games with Texas and New York.

Rowand

Aaron Rowand, Phillies center fielder

Rowand clinched his spot on this team in 2006 when he caught a Xavier Nady fly ball, smacked into the Citizens Bank Park fence, then left the field with his face in a blood-soaked towel. Rowand later joked that his mother, a nurse, was concerned he might be injured until she realized he had hit the wall with his head. It wasn't the first time Rowand had put his noggin to the test. In five seasons with the White Sox, he crashed into the wall so routinely that owner Jerry Reinsdorf installed $50,000 of extra padding to ensure he wouldn't become the next Pete Reiser. Chicago general manager Kenny Williams, a former major league outfielder, describes Rowand as tough in every conceivable way. "And I don't toss out that compliment lightly," said Williams, who once played on a fractured ankle for two months before the advent of MRIs. Honorable mention: Ryan Freel, Trot Nixon and Gary Sheffield win points for competitiveness and high pain thresholds. Mike Cameron recovered from one of the scariest collisions in memory to keep playing. And Torii Hunter plays with such abandon, he once burned his goatee while sliding on the Metrodome turf after making a diving catch.

Byrnes

Eric Byrnes, Diamondbacks left fielder

"There's a difference between being aggressive and suicidal," Byrnes once said in response to a question about his penchant for running into walls. When he figures it out, maybe he'll let us know. Byrnes has made a cottage industry of his hyperaggressiveness, with frequent TV and radio appearances, to the point that some people wonder whether it's a shtick. "I know he plays with reckless abandon, but he also dives for balls when he shouldn't dive for them," said a scout. "I think it's a little over the top." On the other hand, lots of teammates and opponents swear that Byrnes' intensity is legit. During Byrnes' winter-ball days, fans in the Dominican Republic embraced him and called him "Captain America." His zest for the game transcends national boundaries. Honorable mention: Hideki Matsui played in 1,768 straight games for the Yomiuri Giants and Yankees. After suffering a broken wrist against Boston in May 2006, Matsui expressed remorse for letting down his teammates and issued a statement of apology.

Guerrero

Vladimir Guerrero, Angels right fielder

If Guerrero walks as if he's in constant pain, there's good reason: He was born with his right leg longer than his left. He also played seven seasons on a glorified parking lot in Montreal, until his knees reached the Andre Dawson point of no return. Guerrero's teammates love him because there's not a trace of prima donna in him. When opposing pitchers drill him, he invariably gets up, dusts himself off and jogs down to first base. Then, the next time at bat, he exacts revenge like a man. Case in point: In August 2006, Texas starter Vicente Padilla hit Guerrero in the forearm with a fastball and threw a second pitch near his head. Guerrero responded with a three-run homer to show everybody who was boss and politely declined comment after the game. Honorable mention: Brian Giles routinely plays through injuries and once lobbied his way into the San Diego lineup against Randy Johnson because he didn't want to be accused of ducking the Big Unit.

Glavine

Maddux

Smoltz

Bobby's boys

Our nominee for baseball's toughest pitcher has 843 career victories and seven Cy Young Awards, and looks to be on track for three Hall of Fame induction speeches. The choice came down to Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux and John Smoltz. But after soliciting Atlanta manager Bobby Cox's opinion, we've declared the race a three-way tie. Glavine, a former high school hockey star in Massachusetts, has thrown 4,300 innings without a disabled list appearance. He pitched with a broken rib, a bad ankle and assorted arm issues in Atlanta, and survived an adventurous, tooth-mangling taxi ride in New York. Maddux's meek appearance belies his tenacity. One spring in Atlanta, he took a line drive off the toe in his final spring training start. The doctors stitched up the toe, shot him up with numbing agents, and Maddux never missed a turn. While Smoltz has made eight disabled list visits in his career, he has also pitched through pain that would make lots of grown men cry. Wonder how it feels to throw 90 mph-plus with a torn elbow ligament? Smoltz knows the answer. "You just don't do what these guys have done in the game without being competitive and tough," Cox said. Honorable mention: Randy Johnson, Roger Clemens, Jamie Moyer, Joe Borowski, Mariano Rivera, Curt Schilling and Tim Wakefield received mentions among the older crowd, while Tim Hudson, Roy Oswalt, Roy Halladay and Dontrelle Willis are younger pitchers with big motors and bigger hearts. Pedro Martinez is also widely respected for his fortitude. "I've seen Pedro go out there start after start and still be dealing when I know his arm was barking like a German Shepherd," Kenny Williams said. Although Yankees fans might question Kyle Farnsworth's toughness in close games, he is trained in Tae Kwon Do and put his skills to good use in a memorable confrontation with Paul Wilson. "When you charge the mound on this guy, you better know what you're doing," said Angels outfielder Gary Matthews, Farnsworth's former teammate in Chicago. San Diego reliever Doug Brocail, who came back to pitch in 2006 after two angioplasties in four months, also received several mentions. "Brocail is the guy I'm avoiding if a brawl breaks out, because of his mental stability combined with his toughness," said Padres infielder Geoff Blum. "Oh yeah -- he's had two stents put in his heart." Jerry Crasnick covers baseball for ESPN.com. His book "License To Deal" was published by Rodale. Click here to order a copy. Jerry can be reached via e-mail.