Not a Writer's Blocks but a Compelling Block? (perhaps.)

i rant. i enjoy it. i hold nothing back. it's the price i pay for being a multi-thinker, talking in tangents and blazing fast wit.

but i like to think there is a purpose? whether it's to show a point of an argument, share my experiences that prolly happen to others in the world, and share those that i am convinced only happen to me. i like to think i am achieving some sort of an objective. i wouldn't dare call it a "goal" and there is definitely no plan in place, strategies or tactics. but then today i wake up and think .....do i really have nothing to write?

of course, that's silly, i tell myself. but wait. if i break down which team is better 87 twins or 91 twins? that is going to require research for baseball breakdown, clubhouse factor and how i perceived them as a six year old vs. as a ten year old. i can't just rattle that off. that is an assignment, to not be taken lightly.

but now the shuffle iTunes is playing my fave Dylan song "Tangled Up in Blue" so that's gotta count for something. something positive. gosh i'm a freak at times. but a proud freak.

it's more entertaining when you are struggling and hitting potholes (figuratively speaking since literally MPLS is Pothole Ave near the intersection of Big Bumps in the Road everywhere.) to reflect on life. when you are really happy what is there to joke, make fun of or complain about? don't get me wrong i'd prefer to be happy and have stable income and all that comes with that, but the stories are more entertaining when you are struggling but keeping afloat. because you'd consider things you might not consider when you know you will for sure make rent next month without worries. plus when you are "opinionated, young and hunger" you might others like you. kinda make you feel like you are in a secret club that used to exist in america circa late 60s. i'd prolly cross my group of OYH (opinionated, young and hungry) as a Warhol group, with a mellow Mamas and Papas vibe, but with an English attitude/snobbery ... because we like to think we are better than those we make fun of. or you could call us the group who work at Rob's story in High Fidelity.

so what's on the horizon? i've declined to play in several fantasty football leagues. since two years ago i called the steelers winning the superbowl in preseason, i figure my luck is running out, so why spend the $$ for my own team when i can help others? exactly. it's in my philanthropic soul to help others.
:)

hoping the Twins can make a comeback starting this weekend. but i think i have been hoping for that all year. it almost feels like the Twins are crossing the road into Superior, WI, you know the place where hope dies. it's true. ask anyone from the Twin Ports.

if football is starting to gear up and get ready that means hockey is only six weeks away. YEA!

new job. new apt. new experiences, challenges and hurdles. life after the bridge. autumn (fave season) right around the corner. bands i like are coming to town before the end of the year. apparently there could be another Bourne edition. i'm happy, overall. and hoping my happiness won't hinder my writing. only in my warped brain could that be an issue and well, that's one of a million reasons of why i am who i am.

Catch Up Session with ....well, me, of course

it's been several consecutive back-t0-back-to-back-to-back busy days in these parts. a quick recap:


i have got up on sleep from Red Cross volunteer duties. that's good.

got a new job and start on monday. and you know, that's good.

finishing up on the freelance projects, we are in final stages. so getting some cash flow so i don't have to be "angry, young and poor" anymore. that's good.

realized i can polish off a 12 pack of beer on my own and not have a hangover the next day, only if and only if i have some good pizza as a base. realizing i'm a chick and can be having a good time without the hangover. that's good. but also a little troublesome the 12 beers and maybe that explains why my jeans fit a little tighter these days. oh well. i like moderation and i like to stumble into obliviation from time to time. and you know, that's good.

michael cuddyer going 0-4( ohfour) not so good.
Twins losing a series to The Royals, not so good.
amanda winning (a kitten and a woman who prolly graduated same year as HS as me) not so good.

so final count good 4, not so goods 3.
it's been a good week.

I'm gonna be a 55406 girl

ok, so this isn't as catchy as 90210. but for a MPLS lady who has resided in 55455, 55413 and 55408 only -- this is significant. a change to 55406. what will i do will myself?

LOVE IT! that's what.

here's the skinny. was looking for a place in st. anthony main or the lower (south to the logical peeps) part or NE. with bridge and devastation, while I don't think it will be too big of a deal getting around, it will be a little more difficult to haul my shit around. and in case i haven't mentioned it before --- I loathe moving.

so it's going to be sealed tomorrow. i guess i have 24 hours to change my mind. but it's too sweet of a deal, i can commute by the LTR if needed and what else. it just feels right. sometimes, actually more times often than not, you gotta listen to your gut -- and gut says this is fantastic.
(and when does your gut ever think anything is fantastic? state fair season and some cheese curds, but even the overdose on curds can make you tummy unhappy? hhmmmm......)

Oh for Embarrassing .....

This from yahoo about best/worst moves this NBA off-season. I think it is accurately titled NBA winners and losers. I'm not even a NBA fan, but I have to agree whole-heartedly.

Kevin McHale. He's turned into the Matt Millen of the NBA. Across the past two years, McHale has inexplicably brought back nine Boston players to the Wolves. It's nice and all that Minnesota is clearing cap space, but here's the problem: The guy who banked on Joe Smith, Marko Jaric and Eddie Griffin farmed out No. 1 picks for no return?

Well, he'll still be picking the players.

Again and again, McHale failed to make Garnett the cornerstone of a contender. Now, he has gutted a lottery team in the Eastern Conference and made it his own. Despite his stature as a beloved son of Minnesota, it's hard to believe Wolves fans have much patience left with him.

FOR THOSE INTERESTED I FINALLY HAVE FOUND A HEALTH INSURANCE JOB THAT I LIKE. AND A NEW APARTMENT. AS ICE-CUBE LIKE TO SINCE CIRCA EARLY 90s "I GOTTA SAY IT WAS A GOOD DAY (DOO-AAHH-DO, DOO-AAHH, DO)

**** For those not familiar with this fine ditty lyrics below*********
Smooth.. heh.. yep..
Heheheh.. remix..

Just waking up in the mornin gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barkin from the dogs, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn't pig out
Finally got a call from a girl I wanna dig out
Hooked it up for later as I hit the do'
Thinkin will I live, another twenty-fo'
I gotta go cause I got me a drop top
And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop
Had to stop, at a red light
Lookin in my mirror and not a jacker in sight
And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim, and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin y'all
Which park, are y'all playin basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and got a triple double
Freakin niggas everyway like M.J.
I can't believe, today was a good day

That's right..

Creep to the pad and hit the showers
Didn't even get no static from the cowards
Cause just yesterday them fools tried to blast me
Saw the police and they rolled right past me
No flexin, didn't even look in a brother's direction
as I ran the intersection
Went to $hort Dog's house, they was watchin Yo! MTV Raps
What's the haps on the craps?
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of homies and watch me break 'em
with the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Seven even back do' Lil' Joe
Picked up the cash flow
Then we played bones, and I'm yellin domino
Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A.
Today was a good day

Hehe..

Left my homie's house paid
Picked up a girl been tryin to do since the twelve grade
It's ironic, I had the brew she had the chronic
The Lakers beat the Supersonics
Felt on the big fat fanny
Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny
And my jimmy runs deep, so deep
So deep put her butt to sleep
Woke her up around one
She didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the top gun
Drove her to the pad and I'm coastin
Took another sip of the potion hit the three-wheel motion
I was glad everything had worked out
Dropped her butt off and then chirped out
Today was like one of those fly dreams
Didn't even see a berry flashin those high beams
No helicopter lookin for the murder
Two in the mornin got the Fatburger
Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp
And it read, "Ice Cube's a pimp"
Drunk as hell but no throwin up
Half way home and my pager still blowin up
Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I gotta say it was a good day

Fitting Words for Trying Circumstances

WHEN MINNESOTA WEEPS...

Whatever the calamity and wherever its locale -- a hurricane in New Orleans, an earthquake in Central America, a famine in Africa -- this much is certain: The people, communities and congregations of Minnesota won't be outdone in their generosity of supplies, money and time at the scene. Helping others in need is part of the Minnesota ethos, a culture constitutionally incapable of proclaiming, "Me first."

So when a major bridge collapsed Wednesday evening in Minneapolis, one psychic reflex was to ask how the rest of us might help.

The early answer: The modern inheritors of a tough prairie culture's stoicism and self-sufficiency will handle their losses by themselves. If we can generalize: Asking for sympathy isn't in the emotional repertoire of the typical Minnesotan.

The fall of a high and wide bridge, and the resulting tumble of cars into the Mississippi River that flows from an upstate Minnesota lake, is a common phobia come horrifically to life. Commuters headed home after work, baseball fans bound for a Twins game -- all of them trusting in the tidy rituals of urban travel: We believe in the integrity of our bridges and roads, to the extent that we think about them at all, because few among us have ever seen one fail.

As residents of the Twin Cities metropolitan area mourn their casualties, there may be little tangible that those of us elsewhere can do to assist. If that is so, we at least can halt our own routines to acknowledge a troubling paradox: People who've given so much to so many now will bolster one another in their own hour of need. So it is when Minnesota weeps.

Editorial in Chicago Tribune. Thanks to our friends in the Windy City and throughout the world.

Quotes as We Go Forward ...

"If a bridge made of iron, steel and concrete can fall down, then a human bridge of faith, trust, confidence and hope must be established." --Hamdy El-Sawaf of the Islamic Jurisprudence Council of Minnesota.

and I admit I'm agnostic, but it struck a chord.

"Great heart will mend.......You [Minnesota] have a gift for organizing to do the right thing. You're [MPLS] a great city with a big heart, and you're the heart of a great state....You're a city with a heart - a heart temporarily severed. Don't worry. You'll be OK, Minneapolis. The physical infrastructure linking your great centers of education and commerce may be down for a time, but your gridge to the futre, your social infrastructre, remain intact. You'll be fine, and for those of us who lived and thrived there will always love you for what you are."
--Dr. Richard L. Reece, Old Saybrrok, Conn.

Back to Trivial Life after the Bridge

It's a bit hard to write about films, CDs, books, WTF moments after the devastation that occurred last week. As I type @ approximately 8:26 a.m. CST there are divers looking for loved ones. When they do have the final count for those missing or dead I think you will see such a diverse cross-section of the Twin Cities that those people outside of the metro area might be surprised. Older upper middle-class, immigrants, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children, people with disabilities, people just passing through, those who took it everyday.

But we have to move on. This doesn't mean we forget. This doesn't mean we don't care. It just means that in order to function and survive we have to take pleasure in the other details of life. We have to slowly change the water cooler conversation. And each of us will decide to focus on something else when it is our time.

I realized having gone up north to go home (something I already had planned before collapse) was that I needed to get out of MPLS. I needed to be away from President Bush, The Uptown Art Farse or Fair as it is known to others, to leave the scenery, take a break from The Red Cross and to re-charge my batteries, so to speak. It was good to be back in my roots. To see others I haven't seen in seven years. And to break in the fresh winds that blow up north.

But then it was time to come home. Time to be back in the city of Minneapolis that I love.

And coming back I thought of all the things that I love --- films, books, This American Life, music, sports. So what a better way to divulge into them all.

The Twins making a slight comeback in the Central. If Silva wins tonight I will be on the bandwagon, but let me see how "Hi--HO--Silva" does tonight.

I'm going to see the matinee of The Bourne Ultimatum today. It should be fantastic. I hoping I will have nothing but rave reviews. I heart this trilogy, which is surprising since it's not a romantic comedy, documentary or independent films.

Speaking of independent films I finished watching "Funny Ha Ha" and "Shortbus." For starters, just as "Funny Ha Ha" gets good and you get invested ....it ends. That's all I'm going to say. And it could be a day or a week in the life of any 20-something year old you know. As for "Shortbus" I had NO IDEA what it was going to be about. It happened to pop up in my NetFlix queue as I was searching for something else. And you know how sometimes the pop ad will recommend a movie and then have five other movies on the sidebar that if you liked those five then you would like the featured pop up movie. Well that's what happened with "Shortbus." And I must say it's a little like porn the beginning, but then it becomes a story about "sexual freaks who are similar to those that ride the short bus."

I liked it. I liked it a lot. I watched it by myself and I really resonated with all of the six lead characters but in different ways. Maybe it says I'm a freak as well, but I think the director and writer did a phenomenal job of making all of them human, outside of their "freakness."

Just downloaded the new Spoon album. The indie Austin band that could. Just got my The Format ticket in the mail. Looking forward to investing more time in both of these acts. And now that I know I am not moving until October, all should be fantastic.

Still reading Wuthering Heights. I have one book left on my summer-of-books-I-should-have-read-in-high-school-tour. Then it will be backed to the fine selections I chose for myself. Hurray!

One more finalist interview with just the executive director. But I'm not even phased or worried. Maybe I should be. But after everything that has happened since Wednesday, all I can be is myself. And I think that is all we can ask for from each other.

And We Go On .....

Most of the world now knows about the collapse of the I-35W bridge.

It, like to everyone else, has made an impact in my life. On a personal, professional and perspective level. Where to start?

Professionally. I work in the PR field and serve as a PR volunteer for the Twin Cities Red Cross. So my job as a volunteer is to relay info from the disaster team to the communications team and then to the public. I also manned the media relations phone and set up interviews for Red Cross spokespeople. So I arrived to the Red Cross HQ at 9:10 p.m. on Wednesday, August 1st. The Red Cross had set up a Central Control Room similar to what a war room would look like. Each sections of the tables having responsibilities -- weather, disaster technology, services, mental health, public affairs (me) and so on.

Did I mention that August 1st was my first night as an on-call volunteer? Well it was.

So everything I learned was trial by fire and just being in the situation as using all of my skills to best help the organization, the media and the community.

As a professional, especially as a PR bitch, there is a bit of a weird feeling for handling a call from the BBC. You like it. You think "ohmigod I'm on the phone with the news director from the BBC." But then, also as a PR person, you come to terms that the only reason the whole world wants to be on the phone witht you, is because of disaster and tragedy.

Personally, I don't know anyone who is missing or has perished. I do know that I have seen the woman who worked at Thrivent Financial in their cafeteria when I used to work a block away from Thrivent. I know of a worker Monica Segura, who was on the bus with all kids getting off of it safely. I know Jay Reeves from the Red Cross who was one of the first on the scene. As giving Mpls is three degrees of separation, I feel, like others prolly that I will know someone who had a loved one on the bridge or hurt by it.

I know that I am a MPLS girl at heart with Northland roots. That is apparent. I know there is no where else in the world I would rather live, be and raise a family, when that comes to the point of having little mr./miss mpls'. I know that this community has always been resilient and will continue to prove that in the upcoming years. I know with the world watching us that we all stepped up in our own individuals ways to help. I am proud. And I'm still a tad sad. But the beat goes on, the divers continue to search, the Red Cross continues to help, and for those of us in MPLS, Twin Cities and Minnesota we will continue to hug our loved ones a little closer and determine the best ways we can help our Minnesota tribe. Because that's what we are. Whether in Duluth or Warroad, Rochester or Olivia, Minneapolis or St. Paul we are all moving forward. And it hurts that it takes a miracle or a tragedy to remind us of how united we are. But united we will remain as we move forward. Love to everyone -- Ms. Minneapolis.