It's Slowey Time

so i'm jazzed about kevin slowey's debut today. sweet jesus. and since i don't have cable normally i would have to go to the bar to watch the game, but i will be in dreaded fargo where cable is a-plenty. and i like lil papi. but i like him in the bullpen for mop up work and long relief. and i like garza -- but like most power pitches garza can be a headcase. which is why i like slowey. pitches change ups in fastball situations and vice versa. can't overpower a guy, but actually has to think on the mound. and he is lucking out too, because he is starting and away game which is easier on the adrenaline rush and it's against the A's who are so beat up now they look like a minor league time.

CHEERS to SLOWEY!

Impaled by The Impaler

So last night I checked out the docucmentary about Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey who ran for Minnesota governor in 2006. I will now to the best of my abilities used my non-bias, yet columnist opinion ( I did pay my way through journalism school) to recall last evening's affair.

The documentary is decent. I am a fan of the genre more so that the average girl so I appreciate certain aspects of the filmmaking procedure. There is more of a story that the guy is a vampire running for Minnesota office. But I won't divulge too much, because who wants to ruin a story. And while Mr. Sharkey does have a PH.D. which Hatch and Pawlenty do not, they just have JD's, which seem to be a dime a dozen these days, Mr. Sharkey is full of himself. He loves to have a platform, he loves to have attention, he loves the camera and he loves to hear himself speak.

So really outside of the pro-wrestling background, impaler torch, claims that he slept with his half-sister and the whole blood-sucking vampire thing -- how is he different than any other politician?

It's a good question. And it's this week's Good Question? brought to you by WCCO and Ben Tracy.

But it was a bit bizarre, being @ Oak Street last night. And the Impaler is a bit bizarre, although more in love with himself then the general public would suspect. Normally, I'd set up a link for you to get more info on The Impaler, but I'm lazy, tired and off to a sporting event.

Time after Time (minus Cyndi Lauper)

Timing is everything. Timing is essential in comedy and baseball. If your timing is off in comedy, you are not funny. Unless you have the uncanny ability to hold a joke Norm MacDonald Weekend Update Style
although that ultimately led to MacDonald's demise. But at least he is not a quisling. And in baseball if your timing is off, you strike out. Or if you are a pitcher and your timing is off, you balk or leave a curveball down the middle of broadway. Yep, that's timing for you.

And you can get frusterated about timing, but really isn't that a bit silly. Aren't you just wasting time with being infuriated with timing. Unless of course you are a 38 year old woman who desparately wants children and time and timing are of the essence. But until then, more on timing.

Have you ever liked someone but the timing just doesn't work out? Really, it is the case of most soap operas --- look and Hope and Bo, or Austin and Carrie --- and for most sitcoms. Rachael and Ross. Lorelai and Luke/Christopher. And it sucks when it happens in real life. One personn is ready, the other is in a relationship. Both single but one is taking a job across the country. Both single but then one of the people is pregnant or got his one night stand pregnant. Yea, timing - it's a killer.

Or when you get a new job and find out your pregnant. That's gotta suck. I tell ya, timing makes your question the whole fate vs. free choice. I'm thinking it's a combo, like most things in life. People are mostly in the grey, but yet the extremes on issues are the ones that get notoriety. And I still believe timing is a killer in disguise. And so I will continue to sing my heart out Time After Time.

Graduation Speech -- a tad late and a tad great

In the spirit of upcoming graduations, I have decided to leave an unasked for graduation speech. Cheers to the class of 2007! I have no connection to any of you at all, but someday possibly could.
So here's to '07


Choose life. Not in a pro life sort of way, but choose to live life to your most potential. Choose renter's insurance. Choose to travel. Choose to do something you and others might not think you would do. Choose to listen to This American Life. Choose to read books by Sarah Vowell or David Sedaris. Choose to read. Choose to limit yourself to one or two reality TV shows. Choose fixed interest rated. Choose to invest in 401(k) early and often. Choose to be a non-conformist. Choose to be yourself. Every now and then choose a person to make out with, because you never thought you would. Choose to listen to your gut, more often times than not it is right. Choose to listen to your parents half of the time, but acknowledge them and their existence all of the time. Choose to watch Trainspotting. Choose to live the unattainable dream. Choose two forms of birth control, even if you don't think you need two. Choose to take mass transit instead of driving a car. Choose to insure yourself or choose dental insurance. Choose the job that makes you happy, if of course it is legal. Choose not to be a narc, but know your personal ethos and know when you might have to be a whistle blower. Choose Yourself. When in doubt, choose choice. Choose to let your hair down. Choose to dance naked, even if someone is watching. Choose to fuck. Choose to love. Choose pinot noir over other red wines. Choose Yourself. Choose Life.

Karma Works in Beautiful Ways

have you ever been fucked over? it sucks. especially when it's the blind sided type that you don't see or feel coming at all. i was fucked over at my last job. got tattled on for something that could swing either way (for or against me). and the worst part was finding out that i was ratted on. and because somebody didn't care for me. lame. not professional at all. borderline pathetic and very william shakespeare like. i think shakesperian themes are similar to the seven deadly sins. jealously. love. anger. desire. control. passion. power. those are basically the themes that run from much ado about nothing to hamlet. (sidenote i used to date a boy that would read only shakespeare in the summer. now is a psychiatrist or a mental health intake provider somewhere in indiana. and i often wonder did the shakespeare drive him to want to know the inner workings of our minds? yea back to the tangents ....)

being fucked, not a good feeling. so when you have the opportunity to get some revenge, as much as i tried to be the bigger person, the smaller person in me won out and said "you have the opportunity to fuck her over and she won't see it coming." brilliant, really. and anonymous. the best kind of revenge. hey, i'm not iago
by any means. but it did feel slightly vindicating. karma is round, what goes around comes around.

and yet, i did feel weird about reporting it a few months later. like i was going to get incident bystanders caught in the crossfire (which brings me to tucker carlson and his ridiculous self, can't stand him or his bowties. fucking ridiculous.) this should remain an issue between me and her, and it should have never been an issue to begin with, except she narced and wanted me out, a complete surprise to me. so here i write, a bit smug and bit bitter, but hoping it will work out in the end .... leaving my devices to karma and what will be will be.

Where You Lead I Will Follow. Gilmore Girls Finale

All recorded on 15 May 2007

6:30 pm 30 minutes to go. I have a feeling I might be disappointed. I am trying not to be pessimistic. Twins are getting rocked by the Indians 6-2 in the first. Brutal. Almost as brutal as Jason Kubel.

6:37: Amy Sherman-Palladino (A-SP) looks like Linda Perry i her 4 non blondes phase. which now I have their one hit wonder in my head ("Twenty-five years and my life is still, Trying to get that great big liter of hope and for inspriation ....")

6:55: Five minutes to go. In a bit of denial that I'm not watching it with my BFF DZ. We had Tuesday night rituals (although she doesn't like the term rituals) throughout college. Her, I, Rory and Lorelai. No boys. No booze. Just us laughing and gasping at theh "ohmiGod" moments.

7:00: And now here it goes. The finale. The "La-la-la-LAAA-la" song @ the Dragonfly. Chrisitna Amanpour.
Rory's idol and who she would like to become. Nice.

7:04: Final theme song. Like Carole King songs, but not so much Carole King's voice.

7:08: Logan and the rocket. Never liked Logan. Never disliked him either. Did like his last name Huntzberger. Liked Jess the most. I want Jess. Jess Mariano. Steal him from Heroes their season finale is over. And they get to come on next season unlike The Girls. And while you are at it get him and Alexis B (Rory) back together in real life. I'm wishing for a Jess cameo right now, although the odds of this happening are one in a million. (So you're saying there's a chance.) Graduation re-enactment party. This is either a GREAT IDEA or sheer awful. Maybe I will have my boy do a re-enactment, since he graduates this Sunday from law school.

7:11: Never been a fan of Liz Danes except for the episode when her and TJ reference Minnesota Ren Fest. I'm not a fan of Ren Fest. I just liked the shout out to Minne.

7:15: Rory Gilmore gets a job 2 days out of Yale and I'm 4 years out of college and freelancing. WTF?!?!!! And she gets to be on the campaign trail for Barack Obama. Just proving that Ivy Leagues school are all in it for the name branding. BTW complete sidenote - I've always appreciated that they spelled Gilmore G-i-l-m-o-r-e instead of like the former Maple leaves player Doug Gilmour. He crushed by '93 season. Just like Norm Green crushed '92 - '00 for me. Fuck Norm Green.

7:22: Sum a cum Luke. Nice line.

7:23: They show Luke tearing up ---- he would never do that. WTF II?!?!!!

7:25: Postcard sending IS a dying art. I'm sending one radomly to Nome, Alaska or whatever that town was named in Northern Exposure . I loved the episode where the town was sent a box and they weren't sure what to do with it. And the whole town debated whether to open it or not. See if that where to happen in today's America the terrorist alert would be at orange.

7:27: Town hall meeting w/out the Robert Rules. Oh, Taylor and his town rules. Maybe when I watch my Gilmore Girls marathon I will jot down all of Taylor's rules. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt.

7:30: 36 hours is plenty of time to plan a party. Isn't that how long Sting and his wife Trudie Styler make love?

7:31: Dave Rygalski -- how I will always fondly recall Adam Brody and his pre - THE OC days.

7:34: Rory talking with her BFF Lane and how she's nervous about if she doesn't succeed. Sese this is why they (Amy SP and her hubby Dan) should have sucked it up and came back to write and direct the final 13 episodes. They could make Rory go off the deep end. Kinda like Juliette Lewis in Melissa Ethridge's "Come to My Window" video.


To see Rory succumb to mental disorders -- panic attacks, depression, anxiety. Those three really are the post-college combo. It would be like Rory Gilmore's My So Called Life
years and Jess could come back as Jordan Catalano.

7:44: Sixteen minutes left. The reality of it ending is becoming real. Don't cry Lorelai. Damn it, Lorelai, DON'T CRY. DZ would be tearing up now. Ok Luke call Jess to have help you sew all the tarps together.

7:45: I want my town to throw me a party. Uptown Art Fair does not count. Babette. Miss Patty. Kirk. Sookie and Jackson. And in my town I want a town sash maker. Any takers? Emily and Richard. So many great characters. Maury. Gypsy.

7:48: "It takes a remarkable person to inspire all of this." Great line. An ode to Amy S-P.
Yep, gonna steal that line and use it in my repertoire. "Spank you into this world, Contractions, Ameotic fluids," only Doose could or would say this. Don't cry, Rory. DON'T CRY!

7:50: Friday night dinners will continue. Awesome. I like that. Don't be late and don't wear jeans.

7:52: Throwing a last minute town party - "No big deal," Luke says in typical Luke fashion.

7:59: And it ends how it begins. The Gilmore Girls ordering food at Luke's dinner and talking.
It's the talking that I'll miss. Bon Voyage, Stars Hallow, Connecticut!

The Bends and friends

Have you ever been asked the question -- if you could only bring three CDs with you on a desert island what would you take? Hands down I would take Radiohead's The Bends and two friends. I'm not quite sure what those two friends would be. Music is so arbitrary. Depends on your mood, weather, the current state of your life. It is also brings up the other question -- if you had to would you rather be blind or deaf? Can't answer that one. Hopefully I never have to. Although I do think it helps that I have three years of American Sign Language (ASL) under my belt. Perfected by going to loud bars on Thursday nights and forcing myself to communicate in ASL. Back to the CDs. The Bends and friends. But what two friends would accompany my favorite album of all time.

One can't go wrong with The Bends. Yes, people of opinion seem to think OK Computer is Radiohea's masterpiece. I think of it more as their Master and Commander minus Russell Crowe and a whole lot of other things. Ok, actually it has nothing to do with Master and Commnader I just like saying "Master" in a fake Sean Connery voice. Kinda like "Oct-a-pussy." or the SNL skit Jeopardy where he states
"I'll take the rapist for $200."
"Rapist? You mean therapist."
"Is that what your mother said last night, Trebek?"

Back to the friends of The Bends. Perhaps Abbey Road. She might make the cut. Has a great opening song "Come Together" which ineviatably for me bring ups the question -- Top 5 opening songs for an album a la High Fidelity style. I'm going with:

1. Come Together (Beatles: Abbey Road)
   
2. Let's Get it On (Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?)
   
3. Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana: Nirvana)
   
4. Black Dog (Led Zepplin: IV)
   
5. Let's Go Cray (Prince: Purple Rain)
   

As I was saying ... I'm torn on who would be good enough to accompany The Bends. I've listened to that album so many times that I have went through four copies of the CD. Four. Plus someone from college took it and never returned it. Damn you Kjell and Fetter's Grove.

So The Bends needs friends and 28 hours until the end of Gilmore Girls .....I think I'm getting stressed :)