Time After Time (Deuce)

so if anyone has been paying attention you've read my Time After Time minus Cyndi Lauper. i'm a big believer in a few things in life --- karma, timing, self and social change. yep those are the four bases that i cover. i know i've been taking to writing more about observations, pop culture, sports, etc and less personal but this is going to be personal. i could have life altering changes to make or i could become a big LOSER, which i couldn't handle and maybe would send my self to BIG FAT LOSER camp -- although not the reality TV show. Puh-leeze. really i think the show is a great idea. but more overweight americans sitting on their butts for an hour watching other obese people lose weight. i think all people watching should have to work out while the are watching the show. makes sense to me, but that's prolly unamerican -- a healthy idea and logic, two things this country is seriously lacking. continuing with the personal.

i am a finalist for two jobs. both in areas that would be different. one a nonprofit, one a for profit. both interesting in their own ways. and at this point i do need a change of scenery and to be doing different things. so i'm feeling good about both positions. kinda of more excited towards one than the other, but would be happy with both. and THEN I GET THE EMAIL.

about a year and a half ago a former co-worker and i were planning to leave our place of employment. i was a finalist for a job, she was a finalist for another. things were looking good for both of us. she got hers and i got a phone call saying how great i was and that they would keep me in mind for future opportunities at the U.

sniffle, sniffle. the poor me didn't last long. but i was pretty confident that i got it. and then when i got the phone call it was a DAMN. almost in the angst that sophie b. hawkins sings DAMN I WISH I WAS YOUR LOVER. and then i lost to my boss and to report to her old boss, who i was not so much a fan of. i did amazing things and had amazing experiences the last six months at that job and it shaped a lot of who i am today professionally and how i would do things. but it also made me a tad bitter. and the fallout hurt. because when an employer can't give you an honest reason why they want to keep you or they hide behind excuses (no $$ in the budget) it's a bunch of shit. you know it, they know it and yet the bullshit continues.

on the positive side. so here it is a year-and-a-half later after the letdown from the U of M. i am a finalist for two other jobs and then i get an email from the person i interviewed at the U saying they have a position open in their media department and if interested i should give her a call. Are you FREAKIN' KIDDING ME? i could go to grad school for free and i love the vibe at the U.

while this is a good thing, it's also a weird thing. it's like getting up to bat with the bases loaded everytime. you could either get some RBI's or could get out. i like all of the jobs, just like a batter likes all of the RBI opportunities. but if i don't get an offer from any of the three it will be like striking out and i don't know if my psyche could take it.