I struggle. Hard to believe, huh? Ms. Mpls would struggle with things. But I am human like everyone else. I struggle personally, it's usually my mouth that gets me in trouble or says things not intended for how they are delivered. You'd think being in the communication field I wouldn't have this issue, but my mouth and what comes out of it is a double-edged sword.
My current struggle. It's professional. It pertains to getting results and being inspired. Here's my dilemma. I know I am a results-driven worked. I've got the accomplishments and accolades to prove it. So I like producing. I believe in capitalism, although I prefer socialism cause I think we all need a safety net now in then through this thing called life. And I also am competitive, so results seem like a game to play. Games as a sport, wonderful. Games as to relationships or dating - F that.
So here I struggle between getting results and being inspired. But you can't quantify inspiration. You can't put it in a box and measure it, test it and figure how to replicate it. It doesn't work that way. And I think I chose inspiration over results, but inspiration doesn't pay my World Perks Card bill. Quick departure -- I have a free ticket to anywhere continental US but have no $$ to spend when I arrive at the city. Sad. Continuing -- and I am inspired, sure by my family and friends and by the things I like --- Bill Simmons, Dave Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, Jack Kerouac, The Format, Minnesota Twins, ESPN, NPR, The Current, History Boys, Dr. King, etc, etc.
So how do I take these things that inspire me and help myself pay the bills. I know I'm not gonna resort to Destiny's Child - "if you pay my bills, you pay my credit card bills, I know we are through, so ....." but what's a girl to do?
It's prolly a good thing that you can't quantify inspiration. Because if it could be replicated it won't be as valued as the original. Something would get lost along the way. But why do I follow my artsy heart instead of my logical head? I guess because if there is a coin toss I'd always choose to be inspired (challenged and happy) over getting results and paying bills.
I guess it's more bologna on hand sandwiches for me.
(that's not true, I just remember that from the Metallica Behind the Music. Not that I have cable to enjoy it, but whatever happened to Behind the Music?)